watch 3 Nice Guy Mistakes Men Make With Women on my YouTube channel
In the video above, Bobby Rio and Rob Judge talk about 3 nice guy mistakes men make with women that land you in the friend zone.
These mistakes scare away a girl that might have initially liked you.
If you’ve ever been in a position where you thought a girl was into you, until she suddenly stopped responding to your texts… and you just KNEW something changed… chances are it’s because you made one of these mistakes.
What’s dangerous about these nice guy mistakes, is that it’s the typical advice you’re going to hear in the media.
So if you’re used to the usual mainstream dating advice, this video is REALLY going to challenge the views you have.
However, Bobby and Rob’s advice comes from experience.
For example, what messed up Bobby more than anything is the movie called “Say Anything”. You know… the one with John Cusack?
There’s a scene in that movie where the John Cusack character devices a plan to impress the girl he likes so he stands outside her window with a boombox playing her favorite song.
And that was the move that won her over!
Because of this movie… Bobby had the romantic idea “if a girl knows how I feel… or if I just do a bold enough gesture… she’s going to become attracted to me!!”
You make the big move, and voila… the girl is yours! Right?
Wrong! This notion of plotting the “grand romantic gesture” to impress a girl into liking you might as well be Wile E. Coyote plotting the big scheme to catch the road runner and… it never works.
Why don’t these romantic moves work? It’s because of these 3 nice guy mistakes men make with women…
3 Nice Guy “Romantic” Mistakes
Nice Guy Mistake #1: Sending a Girl Flowers or Buying Her Gifts
The first of the big mistakes is sending a girl flowers at work or buying her any sort of gift.
Both Rob and Bobby do a lot of coaching, and they see this happen over and over.
A coaching student will say “yeah I sent her flowers at work” and she got kinda weird after it.
Or they will say “I helped her pay her rent” or “I paid for her mortgage” or “I bought her this pocketbook she wanted”…
…and doing this will almost always give her this FEELING, that something is “off.”
She doesn’t know what it is… but her attraction for you in that moment dissipates… A LOT.
And it’s understandable. Guys logically think “I like this girl and I like getting gifts… so if I give her a gift, she’ll probably like it, and she’s going to associate those good feelings with me.”
But unfortunately with dating, attraction doesn’t work like that.
Why Buying a Girl Flowers Leads to Rejection
The thing with “buying a girl flowers” is that… not only does it not work… because you’re not going to get the reaction you want… but it’s also cliche, unimaginative, and creepy. REALLY creepy.
Girls like getting flowers, but not for the reason you think. They like it
1. because they get the validation, and…
2. because they laugh about it with their friends.
Either way, you become less attractive in her eyes.
Bobby learned this the hard way. Bobby remembers his brother saying, “just get her a big bouquet!”…and he bought the flowers… and it did exactly what this article said it would do. It didn’t work.
One disclaimer is if you have a girlfriend. If you send flowers to a girl you’re in a relationship with, she is going to enjoy that.
But if you haven’t had sex with her… don’t send her flowers because it will probably lead to rejection.
So what to do instead?
A lot of the things that make women fall in love with you are completely different than you think.
You have to create specific emotions in her.
Emotions Like “Uncertainty”
Think about when you’re falling for a girl… and you’re not sure how she feels about you… or she’s not responding to your texts.
You feel UNCERTAIN about her feelings for you.
That’s When Your Wheels Start Spinning…
You’re like, “OMG what’s going on, I really want to see this girl”
But the minute the girl says “I’m in love with you” too soon or without you having to work for it… there’s a little bit of you that goes “that was too easy… what’s wrong with her?”
It’s almost like you don’t appreciate it. You want to work for it. You want that experience of not knowing. You want to be a little unsure for a while before you win her over.
The same applies with women.
Because that’s where so much of the fun in dating lies… in that uncertainty.
However, most men are afraid to give the woman any sort of uncertainty…. because they think “if she doesn’t know exactly how I feel, what if she falls for another guy?… What if I lose her?!”
However, the exact opposite happens (as explained in this video)
Moving on to the next mistake.
This is a big one I’ve made many times in the past. So pay attention!
Nice Guy Mistake #2: Confessing Your Feelings Too Soon
This is another grand romantic move that leads to rejection.
I get it though, because I’ve been there. When we are overcome with intense feelings, our emotions take over our brain and we just feel a strong urge to tell the girl how we feel.
Bobby remembers going on a date with this ADORABLE girl he met online… and they were having the best date in the world.
They went out, did shots… danced… hung out, and by the end of the date he was like a giddy little boy telling her how cute she was… how he liked her so much… and how he hadn’t met any cool girls like her in a long time.
And he was basically diarrhea of the mouth.
Shooting himself in the foot.
Bobby didn’t know it at the time, but he was thinking… “If I have these feelings for her… by telling her this… she will feel the same”…
However, Bobby and Rob have a saying and it goes like this:
Once a girl knows she has you, it’s over… and you’ll NEVER have her.
Write that down.
See, the problem is that you’re taking away the one thing girls like: The chase, and the challenge.
I can’t tell you how many times I was in the friend zone, and I would confess my feelings for a girl and tell her how much I liked her, and she would give me a pat on the back saying “that’s really nice” …and then I’d watch her go chase some asshole… some guy who was keeping her guessing… leaving her in that place of uncertainty. Like sometimes he’d go “hot and cold” but he would never come out and say “hey I really like you I want you to be my girlfriend.”
It’s OK to have the girlfriend talk down the line months after you’ve developed a strong foundation of attraction… but saying that too early on a first date… or on a second date… or with a girl you haven’t been seeing for a long time… will quickly kill attraction.
This brings us to another rule:
Let Her Initiate “The Talk” About Getting into a Relationship
Always let the woman be the one who initiates the “relationship” talk.
If you’re dating a girl, don’t be the one to go, “so what is this?”… “are you seeing anybody else?”
Instead, let HER bring up that conversation.
Think of it this way: You can’t let a girl know you want to be her boyfriend… but you can let a girl know you want to bang her.
Don’t hide the fact that you’re sexually attracted to her.
But DON’T let her know immediately that you want to be her boyfriend.
The reason is that she wants to work for it. She wants to earn making you WANT to become her boyfriend. So if you want to become her boyfriend too fast, she feels like something is wrong with you because she didn’t earn it.
In the meantime, as she tries to win you over, she wants to go to her friends and go “what do I have to do to get him?” She wants that drama and uncertainty.
However, if you come right out and start talking about the “relationship” and you make plans with her for six months from now… you’re taking away from her that “gift” of UNCERTAINTY from you.
On the other hand, if you get her to wonder about you so much that she tries to decode your behavior, so she searches on google “what does it mean when he does this?” and watches a video like the one you’re watching right now… then you’re on the right track.
Let’s face it, the whole reason you’re watching this is because there’s a girl who’s driving you crazy right now. She’s giving you feelings so INTENSE that your brain is constantly spinning trying to figure out ways to make her like you.
You want to inspire those same feelings in HER. Give her that experience of being crazy about you, because it’s what women want!
Men don’t fully appreciate this. Look at romantic comedies, for example.
Romantic comedies are ridiculous for us guys, but they are full of uncertainty for the girl character when she’s not sure if the handsome guy likes her or not. As she watches the movie, a woman is kept at the edge of her seat wondering “are they going to get together at the end?” Women LOVE these movies and screenwriters “get” it.
But most men don’t get it and say “women like assholes”… or “women like jerks”.
If you find yourself saying that… then you’re missing the point of what women find attractive about jerks.
A woman isn’t attracted to a jerk he puts her down and talks to her like an asshole. That’s not what makes him attractive.
When a girl is complaining about a jerk she’s dating… the nice guy in the friend zone is like “I don’t know why she’s still with him, she’s always complaining about her boyfriend.”
But what the nice guy doesn’t understand is that the girl complains about the jerk because she can’t have him completely. He’s too hard to catch… and it makes her want to chase him!
Even worse, as she complains about him, the nice guy makes the big mistake of trying to present himself as being the opposite of the “jerk”… which only sinks him deeper into the friend zone…
And this brings us to the third nice mistake…
Nice Guy Mistake #3: Being too Available
Nice guys are always too available, and it comes off as predictable and boring to women.
The jerk decides to hang out with his friends instead of hanging out with her. And the nice guy thinks: “Na that’s going to piss her off, that’s going to make her go ‘I want a guy who’s always there'”…
The nice guy thinks “I’m not like that” …so when he starts dating a girl, he feels he shouldn’t want to hang out with his friends because he has to be there for his girl, because that what she supposedly wants.
But that’s not what she really wants.
She doesn’t want you to stop hanging out with your friends and change your hobbies just to please her. She doesn’t want you to turn into that accommodating guy. (Also: Don’t make the woman your purpose)
Instead, you can still be a good guy, while at the same time doing the attractive behaviors jerks do on women.
The Scrambler: Her Attraction “Blueprint”
Bobby was showing a client the steps to attract a girl, and as he walked him through the things he had to do to attract her, the client says “these are all the things she’s doing to me!”
That’s the funny thing about human psychology. It’s like she was doing all these things that made him fall for her… but those are the things he should have been doing to HER!
All you have to do is FLIP it around and do the behaviors she is doing to attract you… and you’ve discovered her ATTRACTION BLUEPRINT.
When you first start seeing a girl you want to make it your priority to leave her wondering and do the things that make her fall for you.
I know you’ve learned a lot of things in this article. It’s very easy to sit and nod your head and say “that makes sense” as you’re reading this… but when you’re actually hanging out with a girl, it’s a different story… because your EMOTIONS take over.
To help you do the right behaviors while navigating through this storm of wild emotions… we created “The Scrambler” — which is a “master plan” that guides you along getting a “hard to get” girl to chase you…
…So that by the end of it she’s on the computer googling “why did he text me this?”
Yes it’s a little sneaky and nefarious. But it works.
She’s going to be watching videos like this trying to decode your behavior… and there’s not going to be room for any other guy in her head.
Basically, she’s going to be focusing all her attention and all her desire on YOU.
We put together a video explaining The Scrambler, and it gives you the exact step-by-step process that gets her infatuated with you and eventually gets her to fall in love with you…