When you first get out of a long relationship, you feel rusty.
You feel “slow” and unconfident.
You might not even remember the last time you approached a girl you really liked.
And that’s ok.
It’s natural to be kinda rusty.
In this article, I’ll cover how to start dating girls again after a breakup from a long relationship.
So that you quickly start meeting new girls, start getting laid again, and get your confidence back up to how it used to be.
Two Paths You Can Take
Almost every man at some point or another experiences a painful breakup with a woman they deeply care about.
But the way they react to it is what makes ALL the difference.
There are two paths they take after being hit by a breakup.
The first, is what most men do.
Most men get discouraged. They stay home lying in bed feeling sad about their break up, and as a result they become stagnant.
They stay the same and don’t progress to the level they want to be.
Because of this, they NEVER get that awesome dream girlfriend they’ve always wanted.
Then you have the men who quickly get back in the game after their break up.
This is the second path.
They too experience hurt, but they manage to get back on their feet and refuse to let their pain bring them down.
They REFUSE to think of themselves as VICTIMS, because they KNOW they eventually will be WINNERS…
Because of this determination, they go on to surpass their previous achievements, and date the a hottest girls they’ve ever dated in their lives.
Which one will you be?
The guy who stays home sulking… or the guy who takes ACTION?
Right now you’re probably rusty. Your game probably comes off as weak.
It makes sense. If you just got dumped by a girl, then you aren’t exactly handling yourself like an alpha male.
You were likely doing at least one of these 8 relationship mistakes that make your girlfriend leave you.
This way of handling yourself caused her to leave you, which took a massive
hit on you and weakened you even further.
Now that’s OK, because we’ve all been there. I’ve been in your shoes before, so I’m definitely not judging.
But if you want to get back in the game, and you want to start attracting girls again, you will have to change this.
Look at your break up as an opportunity.
This break up is a bucket of cold water dropped on you by the universe to
wake you up and alert you that the way you were carrying yourself was unattractive to women.
This brought hurt and caused you a lot of pain… but now it’s time to put yourself together stronger than ever so that you get back on the path to attracting the kind of women you really want in your life.
Now, I’m going to cover in detail 4 action steps and skills that will get you
going on your path of success with women.
4 Keys to Getting Back in the Game
Your first and most crucial action step is to…
1. Go out and approach a ton of women, even if you don’t want to.
When you aim to start dating girls again after a breakup from a long relationship, you want to get the momentum going again.
This approaching drill is the way to do it.
Not only does it boost your momentum, but being able to approach is your most important tool for getting good with women and eventually attracting an awesome girlfriend.
And here’s why:
When you have the ability to execute several approaches every day, you get more “reference experiences”… meaning you get more attempts, more feedback, you go through the failures faster… and you reach SUCCESS faster.
Now don’t get me wrong, it WON’T be easy.
When you first start approaching, you will feel a strong resistance to approach. But this resistance is something to look out for. In fact, resistance is something you should SEEK.
Why on earth would you EVER want to seek doing things that give you fear and resistance you say?
Because things that you resist are your guide to becoming better with women and life in general.
You see, we all know of something we SHOULD be doing… but that we don’t do. We procrastinate, or come up with an excuse… our brains are world-class experts in finding ways to rationalize not doing these things.
But here’s what’s crazy:
If we use our willpower to focus on doing these things that we resist… it takes us on a path to MASSIVE SUCCESS.
That’s why it is critical that you work out your willpower muscle by plowing through the resistance and taking the required action.
Most people think that you need to be motivated to take action.
However, you can cheat the system.
If you aren’t motivated, but want to be, take the action ANYWAY and then you will feel motivated.
Because when you are able to take action despite of the resistance you feel, the taking of action changes your mood and now you feel less resistance!
To put it into practical terms…
When you’re out approaching girls, your first few approaches will be hard, yes… but after several approaches, you’ll find yourself automatically approaching as you get into a nice flow of momentum.
Take this information and allow it to motivate you to go out and approach.
The second “drill” when it comes to getting back in the game after a break up has to do with your ability to generate positive emotions.
2. Train Yourself to Generate Positive Emotions Independent of Outcome
In drill #1, we talked about approaching girls, and using pure willpower to plow through resistance.
That is an awesome drill, but if you’re a beginner, it can get pretty draining going through rejection after rejection…
And if your nights turn out miserable and seem too much like work and no play… you will quickly lose motivation to go out and practice your game.
That’s why, as a counterbalance, we have a drill that’s all about feeling relaxed and having a good time.
Drill #2 is all about training yourself to generate positive emotions, independent of the result you get with girls.
Whereas in the first drill, you focused on approaching girls to exercise your willpower muscle, in this drill you work out your “generating positive emotions” muscle.
Here’s the thing. When men get back in the game after a long relationship, they’re in a rush to get another girlfriend as soon as possible.
It’s great to be motivated like this. The need to get another girlfriend drives you to approach women. But it can hurt you if you get too ATTACHED TO THE OUTCOME.
See, when you become too outcome dependent, you don’t allow yourself to be happy until you get another girlfriend…
And this stops you from getting that girlfriend.
See, when you can’t be happy by yourself, it’s not attractive.
You are too “needy” of a significant other to make you feel “whole” inside, and this screws up your game.
When you start dating girls again after a breakup from a long relationship, it’s important to not NEED it too much.
That’s why this drill exists… to train yourself to find joy in just being out with your friends having a great time.
Pick a night to do this drill. When you do it, only focus on socializing with people and feeling really good. You can talk to women, but you’re not allowed to ask for their number or take them home. (Remember, this is only for this drill)
Practice having a good time without having the agenda of finding a girl.
Ok now let’s move on to the 3rd tool.
3. Use Online Dating to Get More Dates
This is a great one.
There are a several online dating sites and apps you can quickly sign up on and use to get more dates in your life.
There’s Okcupid, POF, Match.com, Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel… to name a few.
The internet is a huge resource to meet girls. Use it to your advantage to get
tons of dates that get you back in the game.
BEWARE: Don’t use ONLY the internet to meet girls. Be sure to keep going out. Nothing is better than meeting women face to face. I’m saying it’s useful to also have online dating as a valuable incoming stream of women.
4. Go to an RSD Free Tour and Meet Like-Minded Men Who Want to Get Better With Women
The “RSD Free Tour” is a FREE seminar hosted by RSD in all the major cities in the world.
This is the highest leverage thing you can do to get back in the game, for a number of reasons.
Firstly, because of the “mastermind” principle of success.
Then there are several other benefits such as…
- Taking action and going to an event easily gets you motivated
- You learn more about how to attract women
- You make connections, make friends, and meet future “wingmen”
- Entertainment: The instructors giving the talks are funny as hell!
If the RSD Free Tour sounds like something you’d like to attend…