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Girl I Met Online Went Back to Ex Boyfriend

It happens to us at one point or another.

You meet a special lady on the internet, you feel like you’ve forged a connection, but then out of nowhere she goes COLD.

Then you wonder why she went distant all of a sudden, and she tells you that she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend and that she’s going to go back to him to give it another shot.

How do you deal with this situation? What do you do when a girl you meet online goes back to her ex boyfriend?

Here’s a question from our good friend J as he was going through the same situation as well.


Girl I Met Online Went Back With Ex Boyfriend

Hey Frankie,

I haven’t ever written in to any person that claims to know how to communicate with women before but your tips have honestly helped me out for the better. The things you teach have given me opportunities that I wasn’t able to get before.

That being said, I met a girl online a few weeks before I learned about you… in fact, she sparked me to search for answers because I really really clicked with her at first. She met my entire list of criteria and I didn’t want to fuck it up.

I noticed a shift in our texting relationship during the period I was reading your emails and trying to learn. I employed some of your suggestions and they worked exactly how you said they would but I’m afraid I had already messed it up.

We were supposed to go on a date but she stood me up because I hadn’t built enough rapport with her. This was before I learned of your texting style. She sent me a text this morning saying she had got back with her ex and wanted to be honest with me.

I let her go by saying I appreciated her honesty and to call me if things changed. I’ve attached the text.

Could you help me out by giving me some advice on how I might be able to get this girl back into my world? I’m willing to wait it out for a bit because honestly, I’ve not really ever met a girl that hit ALL of my criteria until her.

I only knew her for two weeks and her walking away is somehow more painful then my ex whom I was with for six months… call it chemistry, call it a hunch, it feels different.

Thank you for your help!
– J
>>>My Comments

Hey J, I totally know what you mean. I have experienced where a girl I met online went back to her ex boyfriend. Last year there were a couple girls I was going to meet from OkCupid, and they either went back to their ex, or they became girlfriend-boyfriend with someone new… all before I even got a chance to met them.

From my experience, the “hurt” that comes out of it is proportional to the investment you put into it.

Texting a girl every day for a few weeks before meeting her increases the connection you feel for her, and it raises your hopes that it’s going to happen. Then you start fantasizing about how the date will go and how it will be awesome and how it will be a matter of time before you two become a couple and ride away in a white horse and live happily ever after…

But then all of that excitement gets snapped when she mentions how she’s going back to her ex. And it’s like the fantasy in your head never happened. Everything you had planned will be no more.

Which is why it’s a BIG mistake to spend too much time texting back and forth with a girl before actually meeting her.

One, because you want to get a sense of the REAL chemistry you have with her (sometimes you have”fake” texting chemistry that never translates when you meet in person).

And two, because you don’t want to get too invested in something that may never happen.

Other than that, you really didn’t do any major screw-ups.

You did a good job telling her to call you if things changed… I don’t know if you read that in one of my articles, but that was the right move.

Now to move on forward, you should walk away and never look back. That means remain no contact with her 100%. Even holidays and birthdays.

Unless she reaches out.

If she contacts you, you assume she wants to see you and you make a date.

But it’s best to assume that this is forever over… and start moving on and start seeing other girls. Online dating is a great tool for that.

That was my reply.

J decided to follow the plan. He would move on and start doing his own thing. He already did a good job telling the girl to contact him if she changed her mind, and then he walked away.

However… 2 months later… he surprised me with this email.  

Hey Frankie,

I figured you’d like to hear how this story finished because it’s absolutely epic.

The girl that took off to get back with her ex, well she contacted me about three weeks back to tell me things didn’t work out and she wanted to meet me. I met her, we went on a date and then the next day I hung out with her at her place. A week later another date that ended in some kissing and then finally last night we met, she came over, and we had sex. Immediately after sex she really warmed up to me and it has stayed that way since.

The knowledge from your articles enabled me to act cool when she had initially said she wanted to get back with her ex, I didn’t freak out, get angry, or ignore her outright. Instead I played it cool because your articles educated me to play shit cool and in the end she came back to me because I played it cool and even TOLD ME she reached out because I didn’t act like most other guys would, and she found that intriguing. Thanks for the articles man, seriously…not sure this would have ended the same way had I not come across your site.

Peace bro,

This is what happens when you are cool under pressure. When you don’t go crazy like most of the other guys do. You stand out, the girl notices, and she becomes more attracted.

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