We’ve all had it happen before.
An amazing woman you are friends with reveals that she doesn’t feel the same way about you, and that she only sees you as a FRIEND.
When a girl wants to be just friends, you can keep doing the things that make her think of you as just a friend… or you can flip it around and start doing powerful specific behaviors that get her thinking of you sexually and romantically.
She Only Likes Me as a Friend… and Nothing More… How Can I Get Out of the Friend Zone?
She is not ready to date right now (she just broke up with her ex a month ago)… so she just wants messaging first.
She is typically reserved. Nice but artistic. However, she will not initiate texting. She will reply to my message and respond sometimes with a 🙂 smiley or thank you.
I feel that our conversations usually go smoothly. But one day she said my place was very nice and that she would like to live there. I told her that she could come if she could arrange it and inform me in advance. She agreed to do that but…
Then after about 5-10 minutes, she said she only feels a little “spark”… she said honestly that she only likes me as a friend and nothing more.
Is it true that she only views me as a friend? If yes how can I turn friend zone into love? I do not know how to get out of friend zone.
Hey Ryan, it’s REALLY rare to find a girl that is really honest with her feelings about you like that… offering you a view of what’s going on inside her head… and allowing you to think about and strategize how you can make her feel a bigger “SPARK” with you.
As she says, she only feels a little spark of feelings for you… for now. The good news, is that trusts you and likes you as a friend.
The bad news, is that nothing that you do to try to LOGICALLY convince her, will make her change how big her spark of ATTRACTION is for you.
This is because her FEELINGS of how she sees you are what ultimately determines her “liking you” — It’s purely EMOTIONAL, never logical.
These feelings of attraction aren’t a choice that she makes when she sees that you are loyal, or “nice” — it’s something she feels that cannot be controlled.
So let’s focus on how to make her feel those feelings.
To be more precise, it really comes down to this: The issue you’re facing right now, when trying to get this girl to “feel attraction” for YOU… is that she does NOT currently associate you as someone she wants to get romantic or sexual with.
That’s why the girl wants to be just friends.
To get out of the friend zone, you have to change the way feels for you… and to change her feelings… you have to change the way you interact with her so that she unconsciously starts wanting to get romantic or sexual with you.
The effect you want to create is that she suddenly feels an attraction for you that she can’t explain… and it’s created by your behavior and CHARACTER.
To make this happen, you must break what’s called a “Pattern of Interaction” that makes her see you as “less attractive” … and you replace it with a NEW pattern.
She said “I promise there won’t be anyone else but I can’t promise that if I get sloppy drunk at a party then nothing will happen with someone else.”
It’s seems to me that she just wants me as a friend now. How do I get my girl back? 🙁
Me and a girl from my town had dated for almost all through high school together. Then we decided on the same college as well.
A few weeks before college we broke up because we didn’t see much of each other with sports and jobs.
When we arrived on campus we started to hang out a lot and agreed that it would be fun to start things up again together. Then out of the blue she texts me that she needs time and that she wants to take the first semester to just get used to school.
I thought that was really strange to go from “I love you so much it hurts” to “hey I need three months away from you.” So I was like is there someone else and she said no.
I also said three months is a long time to not meet anyone else at college. Here was her response, “I promise there won’t be anyone else but I can’t promise that if I get sloppy drunk at a party then nothing will happen with someone else.” Makes sense right?
I also found her having dinner with another guy that I have seen around her a lot. She said he doesn’t even know her name so it’s no big deal.
She also got confused on why I wasn’t sitting with her in things. It’s seems to me that she just wants me as a friend now.
How do I get my girl back? 🙁
Look Tom, she definitely wants her space right now… and the more you go into that space… the more you push her away…
You see, whenever a girl gives you a reason for taking a break like “I need 3 months away from you”… or “I need space”… what is REALLY means is “I am losing attraction for you and I really don’t FEEL like seeing you right now.”
Therefore, you need to focus on making her feel ATTRACTION for you again.
How to do this?
The answer to re-attracting her is counter-intuitive. It’s something the average guy FAILS to do when a girl’s feelings are fading… and so he NEVER gets her to feel attraction for him again.
When a girl wants to be just friends, what you MUST do is simple: Say you’re not interested in being just friends and tell her to let you know if she changes her mind. Then go no contact with her COMPLETELY and give her space (until she contacts you again).
On the mean time, start talking to OTHER WOMEN.
Yes, easier said than done. It might seem like you’re letting her fly away from you… but what you are actually doing is breaking out of the UNATTRACTIVE pattern of being in her space… and doing so make a HUGE IMPACT on the way she sees you.
Even if a girl wants to be just friends, she can quickly go from “I need some space, let’s just be friends” to “I want to see you.” But only if you know what to do.
Let me explain…
You mentioned how she went from “I love you so much it hurts” to… “I need three months away from you” — Well that’s because girls make decisions on whether they like you based almost ENTIRELY on their FEELINGS for you at that moment.
And you know what? Feelings are fickle! And in both directions!
She can go from “I love so so much it hurts” to “I need 3 three months away from you” to… “I miss you so much I want you back!”
Listen, I’m not 100% guaranteeing that focusing more on your friends, hobbies, and other girls will work at attracting your girl back… but doing so is the 1. The quickest way to getting over her… and 2. The one thing that will give you the highest probability of getting her back.
That’s because when you give her space you’re giving her time to MISS YOU. She’ll start wondering why you’re not texting her as frequently, and she’ll want that attention back.
You may have heard this analogy before, but I’ll say it again anyways. Getting a girl to obsess over you is like dangling a piece of string over a cat.
If it can’t get it, the cat will keep trying, and it will continue CHASING the string.
I can’t remember who coined this phrase, but a lot of people call this “the cat string theory”
And that’s because women are very similar to cats in some sense.
There are a certain set of rules you need to follow (in order) to seduce them.
My friend Bobby Rio uses a great technique that applies the “cat string theory” to turn you irresistible to women and make them chase you.
You see, Bobby discovered there are 12 specific attraction weapons you can use over and over again to create that “cat-string” effect that gets a girl obsessed over you.
He calls it, “The Scrambler.”
Best of luck,
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