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How to Deal With Competition For a Girl You Like [3 Steps]

There’s a girl you like who you can’t seem to get out of your mind… and so you’ve been actively thinking of ways to “make the move” on her or ways to make her like you.

You might have imagined how it will feel to kiss her, and even how it would feel to have her as your girlfriend.

As you are pondering how to go about creating attraction in this girl, you suddenly discover you’ve got competition.

Another guy is trying to make a move on her, and you feel like you want to stop that from happening before he gets her, and before it’s too late…

You also sense that your girl is giving you less attention… and more attention to the OTHER GUY. This makes you feel like her “feelings” for you are FADING.

dealing with competition over a girl

It’s very important that you take the right steps when this happens, and it’s important that you AVOID making a mistake that kills your chances with this girl.

So in this article, you’ll learn the 3 steps of how to deal with competition for a girl you like.  If you do these steps correctly, you will stand out from all the other guys chasing her, and it will get her wanting only YOU.

But first, let’s talk about the #1 deadly mistake most guys make when dealing with competition over a girl…

The Biggest Mistake Most Guys Make When Dealing With Competition Over a Girl

The biggest mistake when dealing with competition over a girl, is feeling NEEDY and making a move because you feel the URGENCY to do it.

When we feel jealousy, we literally feel like we will lose something in the future… so we feel the URGENCY to do something about it. That’s what jealousy is all about. (read more on how to get rid of jealous feelings here)

So when guys feel like another guy is going to get their girl, what do they do? They feel like they need to make a move on her RIGHT NOW, in order to get her before the other guy does.

You might feel like you HAVE to make a move right now.

For example, if you fear that another guy will get your girl… and you feel desperate… then you might try to “convince her” to like you by doing what’s called, the “Grandiose Gesture” …which means you make “the big move” of buying her a gift, getting her flowers, or revealing your feelings for her.

This is what many guys do, and if you do it, it most likely will end up in a FRIEND ZONE speech.

So if you’re worried and desperate, hold on to your horses and  don’t do anything like that ok? Good.

Why This FAILS (Unless You Do it the Right Way)

This fails most of the time because it comes from a needy, desperate state of mind.

This state of mind simply happens because of your “shift” to scarcity.

When you feel your girl is giving you less attention, and instead giving ANOTHER GUY her attention, then you will probably feel like you’re losing something.

This puts you in a state of mind called a “Scarcity Mindset” …which leads to neediness and desperation.

When a girl senses this desperation, whatever attraction she still has for you immediately PLUMMETS.

3 Steps on How to Handle Competition for a Girl You Like

Now let’s talk about what you SHOULD do once you start worrying about other men competing for the girl you like.

Instead of scarcity, your goal should be to feel abundance.

If you know she is really into you, then making a move can succeed.

However, you have to still have to do it coming from an ABUNDANCE non-needy Mindset… otherwise the girl will stop having feelings for you.

So how to deal with competition for a girl you like? Create an abundance mentality that makes yourself more attractive.

Here are the steps you should take…

Step 1: Recovery – Go No Contact For a While With the Girl

If you find yourself worrying about this girl too much, chances are it’s draining your energy.

Going no contact helps you recover your energy and it will “reset” the feelings of anxiety that weakens your game.

While you are recovering, LET GO of anything you can’t control and just let it be. At the same time, focus on YOURSELF, and what YOU can control.

When you start to worry that the girl you like is going to go out with another guy, you have to realize that the girl’s decision is out of your CONTROL… and the more you try to control her, the more it will push HER away.

Don’t focus on stopping the guy from asking her out, and don’t focus on stopping the girl from having feelings for him… ONLY focus on YOURSELF. You should feel like you are the most important person in the interaction.

Now think about the things you can control. The things you direct your focus to, is 100% under your control… and the most effective way to use your focus to recover from one girl, is to focus you attention to OTHER girls.

If you do this, not only will you recover, but you will make yourself more desirable to the girl you like.

The more you think about and talk to other girls the more you build your abundance mindset.

Step 2: Develop an Abundance Mindset

Whenever you get jealous feelings… or whenever you worry about competition… your mindset should always be that you’ve got OPTIONS.

Once you truly feel and believe that you have options, then those needy, jealous feelings will completely fade away.

… and like magic… girls will flock to you – because your character PROJECTS that you’ve got options.

(read more on creating abundance here)

Step 3: Aim to Trigger Attraction

You have now recovered (Step 1) and you have options with other girls (Step 2) …so it’s time to trigger attraction in your girl.

First, do this simple chemistry test on her to quickly determine if she likes you or if you’re in the friend zone.

Then pay close attention because you will learn a technique to “Scramble” her mind and magnify her attraction for you.

 

Slideshow Summary of this Article…

 

Youtube Video of This Article

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{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Natalie January 5, 2016, 7:53 pm

    This article is ridiculous. As a woman who has been in this situation if I talk to one dude and another dude starts talking to me, and the first dude drops off and goes after other girls. Guess what I am going to chill with the guy that pays attention to me and ASKS ME OUT!
    I have had this happen and guy number never asked me out and in fact got a girl. Months later I am still dating the guy that actually made a move. Women aren’t mind readers.

    • Frankie Cola February 15, 2016, 9:42 pm

      It isn’t that simple, there are two sides of the coin to this.

      So here are the nuanced points…

      In general, whenever you are interacting with a girl you are interested in, you should try to get her out as soon as possible.(One of the biggest mistakes of all mankind is the guy who waits too long and chickens out)

      HOWEVER, if you are coming from a needy state of mind and you feel the urge to make a move JUST because she is now paying attention to another guy, then the move you are making is out of desperation, and not pure intent and inspiration coming from the girl.

      This will NOT give you the result you want.

      Instead, you want to go for the girl mostly because YOU want her, and not just because now some other guy wants her too and you are feeling the “scarcity” and pressures of competition.

      This article is targeted for guys who are feeling the jealousy coming from competition… and I give them these steps so that they don’t get into a “needy” state of mind that makes women run away.

      The goal is that they DO go for the girl… but with an attractive state of mind coming from abundance.

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