watch How to Stop Being the Nice Guy on my YouTube channel
In the video above, Bobby Rio and Rob Judge give you the “Anti Nice Guy Manifesto.” They explain how to stop being the nice guy, and they warn you about the dangers of supplicating to women.
In this article, I now summarize the material covered in this video.
First and foremost, if you’re expecting politically correct advice… this is definitely not the video for you.
The advice that we give you isn’t the typical “just be yourself”…”tell her how you feel”… or the typical mainstream advice that you hear.
Yes you should be yourself, but if you don’t understand how attraction works… you will keep getting rejected by women.
For example, it’s a really bad idea to give your power away to a woman.
Nice Guys Put the Girl On the Pedestal
Ever heard the saying “don’t put the girl on the pedestal”?
When you put a woman on the pedestal, you give your power away and treat her like she’s above you.
Doing this probably ruined your chances with women who lost interest in you and you’re not quite sure why. The reason is that women don’t feel attraction for men who supplicate to them.
But be careful, because you can be supplicating in a very SUBTLE way.
For example, Bobby tells the story of a girl he dated who was into hip hop. Now he was into rock and she didn’t like rock, she was into hip hop.
So they’d get in the car and she’d always change the station to the hip hop station.
And he immediately thinks “I don’t want to listen to this.”
…but his my mind, she was more important than him. The fact that she was enjoying the music was more important than what Bobby enjoyed.
That’s what happens with guys who supplicate to women without even knowing they’re doing it. They deep down unconsciously feel that the girl is MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEM.
Now this isn’t about chivalry… this isn’t about not being a gentleman… this is about not putting yourself BELOW the girl.
Instead, put yourself on equal footing with her.
That’s how to stop being the nice guy.
A lot of guys go to one of the two extremes. They become either the supplicating nice guy… or they become the combative jerkoff who feels like they have to say no to everything and never pay for a drink and go around slamming doors on girls’ faces.
Instead, understand what supplication is so you can AVOID it… and make sure that when you do something nice for a girl, the girl also reciprocates.
Let’s repeat that one more time because it’s important:
When you do something nice for a girl, make sure it’s reciprocated.
Example: Should you buy a girl a drink in a bar?
This is a question that gets asked all the time.
There are two extremes here…
The Nice Guy
One is when the girl goes “will you buy me a drink” and the guy eagerly pulls out his wallet to buy her a drink even if he hasn’t talked to her that much.
The Jaded Former Nice Guy
Then there’s the other extreme of the guy who hears “don’t buy women drinks”… and he’s like “NO, I don’t buy drinks for girls”…
But this makes you look cheap… and the girl who might have been into you now thinks “what’s the deal with this dude?”
How to handle this? Very simple.
Remember: You and her are on the same exact level. That’s the way we are treating it.
If a girl says “can you buy me a drink?”… say “sure I’ll get you a drink. Here’s what you’ll do, go get us a couple tables and we will sit and talk”.
You just make her do something so that she also contributes!
But see, a lot of guys want to please the woman without her doing anything.
Bobby tells the story of a barbecue he went to the other day. Some girl walks over to a guy and she hands him her empty cup, and she’s like “go get me a sangria, go fill up my cup”…
…And he wasn’t her boyfriend, he wasn’t even some guy she was banging. He was just some guy at the party who was really eager to do this favor for her.
The thing now, is that he thinks in his mind “yeah! I got some points with her”
…but Bobby was watching this going “you just totally showed her that she can make you do shit”.
Girls test you. They want to see what they can make you do.
And we’ve all been there though. At some point or another, we were that guy getting the sangria cup.
Bobby tells the story of how one time in college, some girl wanted to buy a term paper, and the place they sold the term paper was at the bad part of town. So Bobby was like “I’ll drive you!” So he drove her there… he had to pay gas for his car… and he even lent the girl money.
He was doing all this stuff for her thinking that she’s going to think “wow he’s a good guy.”
However, that is a nice guy mistake! And that’s why this anti nice guy manifesto was created.
Again, it isn’t even about being “nice”… it’s about putting just as much value on yourself as you do on the woman… not putting MORE value on her.
We men for some reason want to believe that the woman is better. Partly because we want to feel like we’re getting the deal. We want to go to our friends and show them that we’re with a girl who’s above us and “out of our league”. We want to brag that we achieved that goal.
But what we don’t realize, is that a woman wants to be with a man who she thinks is ABOVE HER. She wants to go to her friends and say “oh yeah I got this guy!”
Women lose attraction when we treat her like she’s above us… and when a girl realizes that she has the power, her attraction for you PLUMMETS.
What to do instead? Read on.
Stop Being the Nice Guy and Start Putting Girls Through “Hoops”
To make a girl feel like she’s working to win you over, put her through “hoops”.
Women often try to put you through hoops. As we mentioned before, she can ask you to buy her a drink. Or it can be more subtle, like when the girl changes the radio station in your car and you just sit there and accept it even though you don’t like that kind of music.
Anytime a woman takes the power position and does something like that… she’s making you jump through hoops.
Another example: “Can you hold my jacket? Hold this for me?” And ten minutes later you’re still standing there holding her stuff.
Whenever a woman puts you in that role where you’re supplicating to her and she’s in the power position… she’s putting you through her hoops.
Now the key here isn’t that you can’t jump through her hoops…
The key is that you CAN jump through her hoops… but then you have to make her jump through one of YOUR hoops.
A very simple way to do is is this…
Whenever a girl tries to make you jump through her hoops… make sure she also jumps through your hoops by saying “I’ll do X, if you do Y”
***Technique: “I’ll do X, if you do Y”***
“I’ll buy you a drink if you go get us a couple of chairs that we can sit and have a good conversation on.”
Very simple right? You’re not making her do anything stupid or outrageous.
“I’ll let you listen to the Hot97 radio station if you sing me the first verse of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air song.”
You’re just making her do something so that you’re not just this CHUMP bending over backwards that would do anything she asks him to do.
It’s not about not doing things for her, it’s about not coming across too easy.
The worst thing you can do is appear too eager to please a woman. Too eager to be nice.
Nice is fake. Nobody is inherently nice.
If your best friend texted you at 6 o’clock in the morning and he was like “hey can you come over and help me move furniture right now?” You would be like “dude stfu”
On the other hand if one of your female friends calls you asking for help, It’s easy to be eager to do it. Because we think we’re winning points.
But if you do it, you’re actually LOSING points.
In her mind, you’re just reliable, nice, predictable… and that is going to lower her attraction for you.
What to do instead? How to stop being the nice guy who’s predictable? As mentioned… just make her do something for you!
To go a little further, there’s a crazy strategy you can implement…
See, Bobby and Rob have been studying this stuff for a very long time. They understand how attraction “works”.
In particular, they learned how to get a girl attracted if you know what to do.
The way a girl becomes attracted is very psychological… it’s stuff that happens in her head. When you learn the little “buttons” you can push in a girl to get her attracted… you can take a girl who’s not even a bit attracted to you and get her jumping through hoops trying to win you over.
That is the KEY… to get her to put in effort by doing things for you.
Here’s a little known fact about female psychology: When a girl starts doing things to impress you, she begins convincing herself that “I must really like this guy”… and then she starts falling in love with you.
That’s what you want to do.
How to do it? Bobby and Rob created a video were they teach something called “The Scrambler”. (learn about it here)
If that sounds a little sneaky or nefarious… it’s because IT IS.
And it’s pretty awesome actually.
Because it explains exactly what you need to do to make a girl chase you.
The more she’s chasing you… the more she’s working to win you over. The more she’s fighting for your approval… the more she’s falling in love with you.
It turns out that THIS is the “SECRET” reason girls fall in love with assholes and jerks. It’s not that these guys are “mean” to her… it’s that these guys do things that make her work to win their approval!
I bet you already know the first girl you’re going to use the Scrambler on.