If your girlfriend is acting distant and you’re scared of losing your girlfriend to another guy, listen up.
Here’s a question from a reader who’s experiencing the same frustration as you. I suggest that you pay attention because when a girl starts fading away, most men do the WRONG thing.
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Question: I’m Scared of Losing My Girlfriend to Another Guy
How do I keep my girlfriend? I love her but I’m scared of losing her. I’m not the greatest looking guy and I just worry she’ll find some better looking guy than me. I try to treat her as good as I can but her guy friends like her and they have way better looks than me.
– Israel
Israel, that makes sense, it can be difficult not to worry about that.
However… and listen closely to what I’m about to tell you…
If you lose your girlfriend, it won’t be because of your looks, it will be the result of you being insecure about your looks.
See, when you are in FEAR of losing your girlfriend, you start acting needy. When you fear that she’ll run into the arms of another guy, you start acting jealous. You lose your “edge” as a man because these fears weaken you inside.
You feel weak and insecure so you start doing NEEDY “unattractive” behaviors that cause your girlfriend to LOSE ATTRACTION for you…
…making your worst fears COME TRUE!
Worse of all when you feel weak, you stop doing the things that got your girlfriend attracted to you…
…and then you notice her interest fizzle out.
However, you will get an urge to blame this on “not being good looking enough”
This would be false!
Because the REAL reason she leaves will be that you worried too much, lost your confidence, and got too needy. That’s what makes her want a “break.”
Related Article: Why Did My Girlfriend Leave Me For Another Guy
However this hasn’t happened yet, but it could be what happens next… unless you stop it before it’s too late.
In particular, you need to fix your mistakes.
Now here’s the interesting part…
There are relationship “behaviors” men commonly do without noticing, that actually push their girlfriend away.
Did you know you might be accidentally “chasing” your girl too much making her lose interest in you?
For example you mentioned you’re doing your best to “treat your girlfriend well.” This might be a problem, and here’s why.
While you mean good, these well-intentioned acts of love can backfire on you.
In particular, trying to keep her causes you to make specific mistakes.
Let’s start with the first.
Mistake #1: Texting Her Too Much
To treat her better and be a better boyfriend, you might think you need to be more “romantic” right?
So you text her more to show her you care, you send good morning/good night texts to be cute, you’re always checking-in with her like a “good boyfriend”… you generally feel the need to text her every single day.
While these things are well-intentioned, they can also be behaviors that you do because you are feeling a bit too “needy”. You might do these things when you notice a girl is “fading” and you want to keep her interested. However, this instead “smothers” the woman and that’s when she starts mentioning that she wants “space” from you.
When a girl starts distancing herself from you, chasing her more is the WRONG way to go about it. You have to do something else.
Mistake #2: Giving Her gifts, doing extra things FOR HER in an attempt to make her more interested in you because she’s fading away
Watch out for this.
If your girlfriend starts becoming more distant, it’s NOT because you aren’t giving her enough gifts, aren’t “romantic” enough, or aren’t enough of a “good guy” to her.
When your girlfriend pulls away, it’s because…
- You have become “weakened” as a man (lowering her attraction for you)
- You are chasing her too hard because you feel like you’re losing her, which is lowering her attraction for you even MORE
The problem isn’t that you aren’t being a good enough boyfriend. The problem is ATTRACTION. You started handling yourself in a way that is “weak” and un-masculine, the girl is feeling this, and that’s why she no longer feels the same way about you.
The shift you need to make is 1. recognize the mistakes you’re making, and 2. Go back to the behaviors that attracted your girlfriend in the first place
Next mistake…
Mistake #3: Showing Her You’re Jealous
Are you worried about other guy friends she hangs out with? Do you let it get to you and so you constantly ask her about them?
When guys write me and say “I’m scared of losing my girlfriend to another guy”… it’s usually because some other guy is in the picture. He’s interacting with your girl and you can’t help but feel the pangs of jealousy.
However, you have to be careful…
Because when you turn into the “possessive boyfriend” you make your girlfriend feel less “free”… and it makes her distance herself away from you, which will make you worry even MORE about her liking other guys.
Jealousy is something you need to be AWARE of if you want to keep a girl as your girlfriend. You might think that showing her you’re jealous lets her know that you care, but it’s the wrong move. It pushes her away and turns her off.
When she starts to feel that she’s losing her freedom, she will seek space and say she wants to take a “break”.
Remember, the answer isn’t to “do more”.
Time and time again, guys push away their girlfriend because they think they need to “do more” when they feel she’s fading away. Instead, they end up take too much of her space… she starts to feel smothered… and she fades away even more. That’s how you LOSE HER.
What to do next:
1. Stop making the mistake I just covered. (Also it’s important that you’re aware of these sneaky relationship mistakes revealed in this article)
2. Start focusing on what it takes to trigger attraction inside of her.
Attraction is KEY.
Guys ask me “I’m scared of losing my girlfriend to another guy… what move should I do??” The move is to stop doing those romantic “moves” and to learn what it takes to start triggering attraction inside of her again.
Think about it… How do you carry yourself when you feel confident and secure?
How did you feel and act back when your girlfriend reacted positively to you? What did you talk about… what jokes did you make… what did you laugh at?
Think of how to feel that way again so that you behave attractively again because THAT’S what actually reels your girlfriend in and makes her want to be around you… it’s NOT whether you get her enough gifts or act “romantic” enough.