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When a Girl Says She’s Not Ready For a Relationship

when she tells you she's not ready for a relationship

She doesn’t want a relationship right now

Do you have a girl who likes you… but sends mixed signals as to whether or not she wants to be your girlfriend?

When a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship, yet seems really into you, it can drive you crazy.

If you keep feeling confused and frustrated… your neediness and fear will send her running away.

Or… you can learn how to ramp up the attraction she feels for you and take the “relationship” to the next level. This video reveals how.

Now let me share with you a question from a guy experiencing this common problem: The girl he’s seeing said she isn’t ready for a relationship.


She Says She Doesn’t Want a Boyfriend Right Now

The girl I like sent me this long text with 3 key points:

1. She doesn’t want a boyfriend right now

2. She said she really likes me (this is the second time she told me this)

3. She still wants to hangout.

This was after WE MADE OUT, so I’m pretty sure it’s not a friend zone… but I don’t know what this means please help me understand.

– Juanton

>>>My Comments

Look Juanton, she likes you, but it seems like you’re pushing too much for an “official” relationship and she feels SMOTHERED by it.

A lot of people will tell you that to be a girl’s “boyfriend” you have to “earn” it… by being really nice, by treating her special, by giving her enough attention to show that you care… blah blah blah

But that’s all Baloney.

Yes you have to “earn” it… but not by inundating her with attention… but by making her FEEL enough ATTRACTION such that she starts asking you questions about the relationship label of “us” because she’s fantasizing about being your girlfriend.

When a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship, what she’s REALLY saying is: “I don’t feel ENOUGH ATTRACTION for you yet.”

How do you create this attraction? By doing specific behaviors that create attraction and avoiding behaviors that lower her attraction like giving her a lot of attention and over-pursuing her.

Too much attention will KILL the attraction and that’s the problem right now… You are probably giving her TOO MUCH ATTENTION!

I can tell this girl really likes you, man… She really does!

But if you do things like

  • texting her every day
  • sharing your “feelings”
  • asking about when she’s ready to be girlfriend and boyfriend with you
  • giving her too much attention
  • clinging too much and pursuing

… then this attraction she has for you will PLUMMET.

You see, for a woman to feel attraction for you, she has to spend time away for you to sort her feelings out.

When a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship, it means she needs her feelings to GROW for you enough to make her want to make you her boyfriend.

If you’re too available and actively blowing up her phone, you won’t let her feelings do that.

Instead, here’s what you need to do:

1. Cut Back on Your Texting

Use texting PRIMARILY to schedule meetings with her. Nothing kills the mystery like getting into long, drawn-out text conversations with a woman without scheduling a date.

Stop doing that.

All that is required is that you send a few texts that eventually aim for the meetup.

No I don’t want you to go cold on her… I just want you to always keep in mind the purpose of your communication… to get her out.

This brings me to the second thing you need to do …(you REALLY must avoid this mistake)…

2. When You’re Out With Her, Don’t Bring Up the Label or Status of Your Relationship, EVER

Relationships, bonding, wanting to know the meaning of “us”… that’s all feminine energy.

That’s the woman’s job.

Are you the one pushing for things to get “official” and wondering what kind of relationship you’re in with her? If you are, then stop it right now. Acting like a woman by talking too much about your feelings and pushing for an “official” relationship can lead to a very SERIOUS loss of attraction

Let the girl take care of that department, alright?

Instead, if you create attraction correctly and the woman feels enough attraction for you, the relationship will take care of itself because she will be the one asking you questions about what label to put on “us.”

So what should you focus on instead?

3. Your Only Job is to Focus on Creating Romantic, Fun-Filled Opportunities for “Getting Physical” to Happen 

Look man, our tasks as men are very simple: Arrange plans to meet up with the girl, focus on being present in the moment, and enjoy!

By the way, if you want to learn more about how to create an intense urge in her to chase you to be YOUR girlfriend, then learn the 4 Horsemen of the Chase – four things that trigger a girl to chase you (revealed in this video at around the 11th minute mark)


Does my ex want to get back together with me? How do I get her back?

We dated for about 4 months and I got needy, insecure and we started fighting a lot. So she eventually ended up breaking up with me.

We didn’t talk for a week and in that time I decided to start working on myself. I started hitting the gym every day, started looking for a new job, and I even started seeing a therapist.

She ended up texting and asking how I was. I just told her I was fine and wished her the best.

After a few more days I texted her apologizing for my needy behavior and the things I said. I also told her I was seeing a therapist and that I felt like I was changing for the better.

I eventually asked her if she’d like to get a coffee with me sometime. She said “yeah i d be cool with that. I’m done with school now so im free anytime.”

We agreed on meeting this Monday so I figured maybe she was interested in getting back together, but i got on my old okcupid account and noticed she had her profile back up and she was online.

So now I m not sure what to think here. She also added me on back on snapchat today.

Does it sound like she may be interested in getting back together? What should I say/do when we meet for coffee?

Thanks so much for all the help!

– Cam

>>>My Comments

Hey Cam, first off – great job getting back on the horse working on yourself, hitting the gym, looking for a job, and getting a therapist. All awesome.

Those things all make you better and more attractive as a person.

Because if you love yourself, and you respect yourself, you do things like this for yourself… and other people will then love you and respect you as well.

You want to get back together with your ex, and you’re on the right path.

Now here’s something you need to know…

When an ex girlfriend reaches out after a long-period of no contact, you should assume she misses you/wants to see you, and make a date. As you did. So good job.

However, instead of day-time coffee dates, go for night dates.

The purpose is to create a romantic fun-filled opportunity for romance and “getting physical” to happen.

See, meeting up for day dates is something you do with friends. Those kind of meetups are more likely to end with a hug or a kiss on the cheek.

Yes you still can be successful in the day time, but do it at your own risk. If you want to stack the odds and logistics in your favor, I’d say go for night dates.

A couple ideas: Go out for drinks and then head over to your place… or invite her over to your place and make dinner together. Tell her “I’d love to see you. Why don’t you bring a bottle of wine over and let’s make dinner together.”

Here’s the key: Only focus on hanging out, having fun, and hooking up.

And you have to BEWARE…

Because if you want to get back together with your ex, you need to AVOID the mistake that most guys do.

If she’s on the fence about you, doing this deadly mistake BREAKS the chance of ever getting back together with your ex.

So I hope you’re not doing it.

The Big Mistake is to bring up the topic of getting back into a serious relationship.

Don’t do it!

Instead, let her be the one who brings it up.

And she will… if you ramp up her attraction for you enough.

How? By being non-needy, non-attached, and playful. And by not acting weak.

Because if you ask her about her feelings for you… and you talk about your feelings for her… and you PRESSURE her into getting back into a serious relationship with you, then that will KILL the attraction that she has gotten back for you.

Why? Because being fearful, worrying about feelings, getting needy, and emotionally depending on whether or not you’re “official” with her — is NOT MASCULINE.

It’s more like your inner little girl coming out.

Which is not attractive at all.

Instead of “Masculine” communication, this is “Feminine” communication that is OK to use if you’re one of her girlfriends, or gay best friend, but if you want to create attraction, it’s terrible.


  1. Arrange plans (preferably at night) to create a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen
  2. Don’t bring up feelings, relationship labels, or what you did wrong in the past relationship. (In general, no needy shit)Remember, let HER be the one to bring up “feelings”… “getting serious”… and what label to put on the relationship.
  3. Only focus on arranging plans to meet up and having a good positive experience with her.

And remember, when a girl says she’s not ready for a relationship, it really means she isn’t attracted enough. Once you raise her attraction to a high enough level, she will start asking you questions and bringing up the topic of “getting official.”

But if you mess things up, and you get too needy, she will inevitably give you the “let’s just be friends” talk and it will really HURT.

So don’t act like a needy wussy!

Here’s how to turn things around and ESCAPE the Friend Zone with your ex girlfriend such that she is the one CHASING YOU to be your girlfriend

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,


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