3 Keys to Dating Your Ex Girlfriend Again

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A flash of new hope…

Breaking up with your girlfriend caused you a great deal of pain…

But now you’re back to dating your ex girlfriend again…

…which gives you a renewed hope of getting her back.

The question is, how do you make her “official” again?

In this post, I’m going to cover

  • The big TRAP most men fall for when dating their ex girlfriend again
  • 3 keys to making her your girlfriend again.
  • How to make her “official” once again

Pay close attention to the 3 keys in particular. If you follow them to the “T”, you will greatly boost your chances of getting her back.

Let’s start with the first.

Key #1: Don’t Make the Same Mistakes as Before

Think about the past… when she broke up with you before, what was the reason? Don’t repeat the mistakes you made back then. (This should be pretty obvious).

If you aren’t sure, this guide reveals 7 common, but dangerous mistakes that cause attraction loss in women.

Now if you’re dating her again, and seeing her again… you may think that you’ll get her back in no time…

BUT BEWARE.

Rushing the relationship here is the big trap most men fall for.

I’m serious.

You may think getting her back is guaranteed, but if you push the relationship label too fast, she will soon fade away again.

That’s why instead, you must linger in the “hookup zone”… and that’s key #2.

Key #2: Linger in the “Hookup Zone”

I’ll explain what I mean here.

First, if she says let’s just be friends, don’t accept being platonic friends. However, if you’re friends and hooking up with her, then that’s great.

That is the absolute best position for you to be in right now.

You want to avoid being just friends and you also want to avoid pushing the relationship label.

Instead… you want to linger in the “hookup zone”.

At the very least, make sure your relationship resembles “friends with benefits”…

But don’t get desperate or needy for the label. Let her come to you.

Putting her in the hookup zone creates space for re-attraction

Trying to be her boyfriend too soon crowds her space and kills her spark of attraction. It stops it from coming back.

But when you are her no-strings-attached “lover”, you give her freedom and you give her room to fall in love with you again.

Putting her in the hookup zone sends mixed signals that create mystery

While she knows you want her sexually, she isn’t sure if you want her romantically. That’s how the signal is “mixed”.

Trying to jump into a relationship too fast gets her bored of you real quick. The chase is over and she loses interest.

But not when you put her in the hookup zone. Here you become a challenge to her.

She starts wondering if you would still want her as your girlfriend… or if you see her differently now and faded on her. (This is the same stuff we worry about but reversed).

She’s the one getting a cloud of emotions and intense thoughts going through her mind…

And once she has those thoughts going through her mind… then you’re in a really good position… because when a woman starts thinking about you when you’re away… that’s when she starts falling in love with you.

When you are the lover, you send these mixed signals naturally

What are the 2 big lover traits? Freedom and abundance. You want freedom, and you have an abundance mentality.

Therefore, you aren’t quick to jump into a relationship because

1. You like being free and single, and you aren’t willing to give up your freedom so easily for a girl. She has to be special, and you need a long enough trial run where you determine this.

2. With an abundance mindset, you have other female options to choose from, so you aren’t quick to jump in a relationship with the first girl who acts sweet to you… again she has to be special and she has to stand out.

“Love in a Way the Other Feels Free”

When you seek to possess, control, or manipulate the object of your desire, she will no longer feel free to be herself.

If you do, she will feel like she’s losing herself when spending time with you… which will cause her to pull away, flake, cancel dates, and act distant in general.

With this in mind, don’t be so eager to get back the relationship with your ex that it causes you to crowd her space.

Instead, you want to hang out, have fun, and hook up, without strings or labels attached. That is the purpose of the “hookup” zone… where you aren’t platonic friends, but not an official relationship either

Now as you linger in the hookup zone, what do you talk about with her? What is the nature of your interactions?

You must avoid bringing up relationship labels, asking about her feelings… and no serious conversations about the relationship.

Instead, let the woman bring up those topics… which leads us to key #3.

Key #3: Make “Becoming Official Again” Her Idea

Now how do you make her official again?

Here’s how.

As you linger in the hookup zone, the girl’s attraction for you will start to increase…

Up to the point where she can’t take it and starts asking you questions like:

  • “is this going anywhere?”
  • “so… what are we?”
  • “do we have a future?”

That’s when you know she’s ready to be your girlfriend, and then you can make things official.

See, feminine energy is all about bonding and bringing up relationship topics. Trying to get you to commit is a feminine thing, that’s her department.

Meanwhile, masculine energy is all about being the leader and creating dates where you hang out, have fun, and hook up… without trying to get her to commit because that’s the “feminine” role.

It also means that you remain on your mission and purpose, even if the girl stops giving you attention. If your thoughts start getting too focused on the girl, that’s when you step away from her and you re-focus your thoughts back on your own mission in life.

Do this and you’ll have a high chance of re-attracting her back.

Acting feminine by overpursuing her and bringing up feelings and labels pushes her away because it erodes the masculine-feminine polarity that’s needed for attraction.

Make sense? Hope it resonates with you.

I have now covered the 3 keys of dating your ex girlfriend again. Are you ready for some real life examples to see them in action?

Here are a couple emails sent by my readers describing their situation. They broke up with their ex girlfriend in the past but are now dating them again.

Remember these 3 keys because I will reference them as I go through each of their situations.

Let’s start with an email from our good friend Rex.

Question #1: Was Seeing my Ex Girlfriend But Now She’s Disrespectful

Hi Frankie good day. Rex here. I have been following your articles and I
felt like reaching out to you.

I’m kind of depressed at the moment. My ex girlfriend acted disrespectful towards me and I had to unfriend/block her on social media. She hung up my call on me. That was her offense.

Although we have been flowing together, had sex and all that. Few days ago she called once and I never felt like taking her call and since then I haven’t heard from her. Do I still have any chance with her please? Thanks as I anticipate your response. From Rex.

My Reply: Take a Step Back, But Don’t Block Her

Hey Rex, so you’ve been having sex with your ex? That’s great.

I recommend going distant, but not blocking her. Blocking doesn’t leave the door open for her to come back.

Now this is very important.

  • If you’ve been hooking up with her, only save the interaction for the dates.
  • Don’t overwhelm her with texts and calls…
  • Don’t try to get the “relationship label” back.
  • Don’t ask her about her feelings (She will feel smothered and become distant again, (and act bitchy by hanging up on you))

Instead, only focus on hooking up, and having fun… without bringing up attachments.

Question #2: How to Go About Dating Your Ex Girlfriend Again?

Hi Frankie. Here’s my situation.

Was with a girl for 4 months. Crazy about her.

Last Monday she got into overthinking mode and said she wasn’t sure about us. She basically ended things… and I know what I did wrong.

I’ve been down and depressed lately and my energy was weak and not attractive to her. She is under a lot of stress, and is dealing with a lot, but I know where I messed up.

The good news is I was disciplined and a good student and I didn’t do any of the mistakes when trying to get her back.

I told her I wasn’t interested in being friends, went no contact, and stayed strong.

She contacted me less than 4 days later, saying she had been thinking about me, and while still unsure, she said she missed talking to me.

We had some short text exchanges over the weekend. One hit a little flirty and sexual. I asked her to meet up, she said she wants to, but didn’t have time this week and was worried about adding to “the confusion” between us.

So I feel like I’m in limbo now. I will admit that asking her to meet up was too soon and awkwardly done.

So I plan to keep just letting her track out and converse. Then I’ll try again and ask her this weekend to meet up mid-next week.

Any tips you have to offer on navigating the bridge to meeting up would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!
Mike

My Reply:  Don’t Worry About the “Status” or “Relationship Label”

Hey Mike, how did it go?

1 big tip is to not worry about the relationship label being in “limbo”.

If you get together, just focus on having fun with the possibility of hooking up, but don’t bring up any relationship stuff, or ask her about her feelings or where she stands.

Let her be the one to bring up asking you about the relationship status. As for you, only focus on hanging out and having fun.

Frankie

His Reply: I Got Her Back After Going No Contact Again

Hi Frankie,

I got her back! I went no contact again after she retreated, then had some more contact the following weekend.

On Monday morning, she texted me first thing and asked me to dinner on Wednesday night (we’re both single parents, that’s usually our night, along with matching weekends).

We got there, kept it light and fun at dinner, and then she spilled her guts. She admits she “fucked up”, got completely spun up into overthinking, is having some hormonal changes, had other stresses, and thought herself right into anxiety…

She also admitted she has very strong feelings for me and was starting to think about a future together, which also scared her. I just sat and listened.

Eventually, she asked if we could go back to how we were a couple of weeks ago, and I said yes. Then I kissed her outside the restaurant, and said “The night is young, want to do anything else?” She gives me a smile and raised eyebrow and asked if I remember where she lived.

Got there and she just jumped me. We went multiple rounds into Thursday morning.

She’s coming to my house to spend the rest of the weekend in a couple of hours.

So the formula worked…no contact, have fun, hang out, hook up, and leave the relationship talk to her.

We still don’t have a label and I’m good with that. And despite her admitting all of that to me, I owned that my energy was down and made me seem weak and needy.

Earlier this Summer, I was part of a mass layoff at my job after 14 years and I’m still job-hunting. also I’m in the middle of a court case with my ex over my kids, so those stressors really sapped my masculine energy for a few weeks. I’m feeling better now and the results with her speak for themselves.

Thanks for writing back! Your dating advice for men is spot on, consistent with what other coaches would tell you to do, and I like your style. Keep up the great work!

***My Reply***

Hey Mike right on! Great job I’m happy for ya

Main Takeaways of the Interaction

1. Women Can Fade, but Attraction Isn’t Set in Stone

Women go distant. This is something that can always happen. But remember that what women feel about you isn’t “fixed”. Her feelings for you aren’t “set in stone”.

So if she needs space and time to figure her feelings out, give her space and…

2. Remain on Your Path Without Chasing Her Swings

Stay on your purpose and don’t “chase” her emotional swings.

When a woman removes her attention, most men feel weakened from that loss of validation.

And so they chase, like this:

What you must do instead, is stay put. Keep doing what you’re doing, and living your life… and allow her to come back to you.

Like this:

If she fades or stops giving you attention, don’t contact her anymore until she reaches out.

Focus on yourself and your mission.

Invite the woman to come along for the ride, but if she isn’t interested, take away your attention and put it on something else that serves you more. Step away and make space for her to come back if she changes her mind.

What to do Now:

1. Read my FREE “7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back” eBook

dating your ex girlfriend again

Click Here to Sign Up to Get This Free eBook By Email, Instantly

2. Learn how to use the “Ex Factor” to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Take 5 minutes to watch this video that teaches you a few little-known techniques to re-wire your ex’s feelings and make her want you back.
 

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