7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

by:

Dear friend,

This guide is for you if you’re going through the pain and confusion of breaking up with your girlfriend.

Especially if…

  • You feel weakened as a man

  • You feel not in control of your relationship

  • You feel lost and frustrated not knowing the correct steps to take

  • You are going through a painful breakup that came out of nowhere

When you break up with your girlfriend, it isn’t easy.

You ask yourself…

How could this happen?

How did she seem so in love with me just a few months ago yet now she is completely COLD and distant?

Is there someone else?!

Look, most men don’t “get” women. To most guys, it seems like women are fickle and chaotic… but they actually are not.

There is actually a reason a woman seems so in love with you one month and then all of a sudden she is colder than frosty the snowman in the middle of a blizzard at the North Pole.

As you read through this report, you’ll discover the one reason this happens.

I will also cover in detail:

Let’s start with the phenomenon of how women lose attraction. 

There are 3 keys to understanding how your girlfriend’s feelings for you fade away.

Pay Close Attention: You need to “get” the nature of female behavior if you want to know why your girlfriend lost attraction, and if you want a chance of ever re-attracting her back.

Table of Contents

3 Keys to Understanding Attraction Loss

Key #1: What She Feels For You is “In the Moment” (Emotions are in the moment)

First, when she said “I love you” she REALLY DID MEAN IT!… but ONLY in the moment she said it.

Now when she currently says she has no feelings for you, it’s also true, but ALSO only during this moment.

HERE’S WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOU

This means that she can go from “I love so so much it hurts” to..
“I need 3 three months away from you” and then back to…

“I miss you so much I want you back!”

Now if a woman lost attraction for you, and you were oblivious about it, it’s

probably because you didn’t follow principle #2, which is…

Key #2: Pay Attention to Her Behavior, NOT to What She Tells You

The big thing I want you to notice is how a girl is behaving.

I say this because women often say things to “sugarcoat” your worried thoughts… which only gives you a false sense of relief.

Meanwhile you keep committing the same mistakes that chip away at her attraction levels and the status of your relationship becomes more in danger…

That’s why instead, you have to pay attention to her BEHAVIOR.

If she’s acting differently (in a bad way) than then at the beginning of your relationship, it can be a HUGE giveaway that her attraction for you is fading.

That’s why the third key is to become aware of these signs…

Key #3: Learn to Recognize Indicators of Fading Attraction

Have you encountered any of the following frustrations?

  • She is difficult when you propose meeting up and going out

    (she isn’t excited and eager to see you like before)

  • You have to put in more work to “convince” her to have sex

    (she isn’t jumping your bones like before)

  • She is distant over text… and often doesn’t even respond

    (she isn’t eager to send you long energy-filled texts like before)

  • She spends more time with her friends but seems too busy for you

    (she is less excited about date nights with you)

These are warning signs that her attraction for you is falling faster than a lead balloon. If you don’t do something about it, she might leave you soon and it will catch you by surprise.

(Learn how to use the “Ex Factor” to Get Her Attraction Back)

What it REALLY Takes to Get Her Falling Back in Love Again

So you’ve resonated with some of the above frustrations… and you’ve recognized some of the above signs of fading attraction in your ex girlfriend.

NOW what do you do to get her falling back in love with you again?

First, let’s go over 3 myths people throw around when trying to give you advice.

3 Myths of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

When a guy is broken up and is actively looking for ways to get his ex girlfriend back, he encounters 3 typical myths spread by Hollywood, the media, relatives, buddies, and society.

This is advice people toss around all the time that actually traps guys into

ATTRACTION KILLING BEHAVIOR when trying to get their ex girlfriend back.

Let’s start with the first:

Myth 1: “Communication is the Key to a Relationship”

The first is the cliche that communication is the key to a relationship.

And that may be true… but only for a relationship that already has a rock-solid

foundation of love, trust, and respect…

NOT for a broken relationship with a shattered foundation of apathy, desperation, and hopelessness.

In other words:

Communicating your feelings is fundamental to a relationship, but if you communicate your feelings while going through the pain and desperation of breaking up with your girlfriend… don’t expect it to go well.

Why?

Because communication works very differently when your ex girlfriend has HARDENED her heart for you.

You see, when your ex girlfriend already sees you as WEAK in her eyes…telling her that you love her, miss her, and want her back will only make you look WEAKER and push her away.

That’s why it is a MUST to go no contact as soon as you break up with her… to stop yourself from doing things like impulsively bombarding your ex girlfriend with text messages that pour out your feelings and beg her to come back.

Instead, you want to communicate from a position of STRENGTH. And what strength means for you right now in this moment in time is this: You should never, ever, EVER beg your girlfriend to stay with you.

Onward to the second myth.

Myth 2: “Lavish Her With Gifts, and She’ll Come Back to You”

This is something you might have heard during guy-talk with your buddies.

Many men are truly convinced that if they could just prove to their ex girlfriend that they care, then she would realize this and she would feel it too.

So they proceed to shower her with love and affection (read as: sending her lots of gifts) in an effort to win back her heart.

However, for similar reasons I’ve mentioned, this will not work!

Do you really want to stay with a woman who “loves you” only because of the

material things you’ve given her… and not because she truly wants to be with you and feels deep attraction for you?

This only sets you up for a relationship based on dishonesty.

So if you’re doing things like sending flowers to her work, or buying her a necklace she has being wanting, stop it immediately!

Now I’m not saying that you should never do nice things for a girlfriend… I’m just saying that when you do this as an attempt to “re-attract” her back, it will backfire on you.

Instead, you want to give her one specific type feeling that makes her want to come back to you… which I’ll tell you about soon.

But now, here is the third myth we fall victim to…

Myth 3: “Show Her You Care and She’ll Come Back to You”

This is another one of those “getting your ex back” techniques that only works in Hollywood movies.

It’s similar to #2 because it comes from the false belief that if you just prove to your ex girlfriend that you care, and you make her feel loved, that she’ll love you back.

But as we’ve learned , what sounds like a logical solution does NOT fix breakups.

Yes, maybe it worked in a 1980s John Cusack Movie…

But here’s something you may not know: Behind every Hollywood studio they always keep a big bucket full of bullshit to use just in case they’re making a romantic comedy.

Okay, here are some typical breakup “solutions” to show her you care, that don’t really solve anything…

  • Telling Her How Much You Love Her

  • Creating Regular Date Nights

  • Making Some Intimacy Time

  • Leaving Her Cute Little Notes Around the House

  • Acts of Service

Although these are tips you’ve heard at some point or another, they only work when the relationship is already solid and you want to “spice it up.”

Many abandoned boyfriends have fallen for these same myths spread by the girly-men in the media and society… so don’t be the next victim.

Now do you know the main reason these actions don’t work to save a BROKEN relationship?

It’s because these behaviors don’t hit at the CORE of the problem.

Which means, they don’t give her that 1 specific feeling she needs to feel.

What’s this magic feeling?

It’s ATTRACTION!

Bottom Line: Making your ex girlfriend feel attraction for you again is the key to getting your ex girlfriend back and avoid losing her forever.

Let’s now go over dangerous mistakes that lead to attraction loss.

7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Mistake #1: Acting Weak

When you act weak around your ex girlfriend, it is impossible to attract her. She doesn’t sense your strength as a man.

Men start acting weak when they fear losing the relationship they have with a girl.

They become fearful and emotionally ungrounded.

Which causes them to give away their masculine power and treat their ex girlfriend like a goddess. They trade their power for approval and say “this is all for you, your highness…” and then she says “awww good puppy” and gives him a treat.

You become like a pleaser to her… you’re always available whenever she calls. You drop what you’re doing to run right over there. Even if you already made other plans, you rearrange your whole schedule just to accommodate her.

When you act this way, you show that you don’t value yourself as a man. And when she knows you value her more than you value yourself… she can’t respect you… and it becomes IMPOSSIBLE for her to love you.

Mistake #2: Trying to Lock Her Down Into an “Official” Relationship

Here’s a big mistake guys make when trying to get their ex girlfriend back.

Instead of creating opportunities for sex to happen – and just focusing on hanging out, having fun, and hooking up… they get into their heads wondering “when are we going to be official again” and they want the reassurance of having a relationship “label.” The problem is that instead of just allowing her to fall back in love with you slowly over time, you’re trying to lock her down and cage her, which causes the woman to start becoming cold and distant towards you.

Why? Because…

Trying to Trap a Woman Into a Relationship is “Feminine” Behavior Causes Her to Quickly Lose Attraction

Did you know that when you try to pressure a woman into a relationship… you are actually acting more feminine?

This is because the act of bonding, talking about feelings, bringing up “relationship labels” is in the nature of what women do. It’s feminine nature.

Here’s the typical tragic story that happens to men who are clueless:

  • boy meets girl

  • boy and girl start dating (with benefits)

  • boy catches feelings and fears losing what he has, so he tries to “trap” her

    in a relationship.

  • boy brings up being “official”

  • girl feels like she’s losing her freedom… and loses attraction for boy

  • girl tells boy they should stop seeing each other because she only likes him as a friend. She wants to stop seeing him because she lost attraction due to his weak behavior.

To have a successful relationship, you need to have what’s called “Sexual Polarity.” You create this polarity when you act masculine while she acts feminine. This causes you both to “FEEL CHEMISTRY” inside your bodies when you interact.

However, if you become weak… if you give away your power and become submissive to her… it you start acting more feminine. What happens?

It DEPOLARIZES the Relationship and She Loses Attraction

To make her feel attraction again, you must restore the balance. Meaning you must start acting “masculine” again.

Stop talking about feelings and “relationship labels”. Stop communicating weakness by getting jealous and needy… and just focus on creating fun opportunities for sex to happen. (Hang out, have fun, and hook up)

Mistake #3: Agreeing to be Friends After the Break Up

Whenever I read emails from men who just broke up with their ex girlfriend… the question that I almost always get is…

“Should I Still Be Friends With My Ex?”

As you’re reading this, you might be asking yourself the same question… because you feel like you’re in the same dilemma.

If you are, pay attention because I’m going to reveal how to handle an ex who wants to be “friends” …because it’s a REALLY common situation… and

most men handle it WRONG.

(I hope you’re not making the same big mistake most men make)

Let’s begin.

When your ex girlfriend mentions that she still wants to be

friends, you will be tempted to follow the following common “strategy”:

“Ok I’ll be her friend and stay on her friend zone for a while, and I’ll slowly make my way back and re-attract her again.”

Sound familiar?

Well I’m here to tell you that it’s the WRONG way to go about it.

Here’s what you should do instead:

1. If a Woman Wants to Keep You as a Friend, Don’t Agree to it

You see, if you agree to be her friend, she’ll keep you around as her nice-guy-friend-zone-buddy who she gets emotionally support from… and there will be no actual need for her to come back to you.

Why? Because your role has changed from LOVER to provider friend.

She’ll call you on the phone and you’ll be the buddy she tells about the new man she’s going out with.

Would you like that?

I don’t think so.

What you actually WANT, is to keep her as a lover.

That’s why you shouldn’t agree to stay friends.

Instead…

2. Tell Her You Don’t Want to be Just Friends, and to Let You Know if She Changes Her Mind

This is CRITICAL.

You state what you want, and you leave the door open for her to come back.

Say “I’m interested in you as a lover but not as a friend” and if she says no then say “Reach out if you change your mind” and then go “no contact” again.

And the next key is huge…

3. Don’t Try to Convince Her to Get the “Relationship Label” Back Right Now

Instead, only focus on being in the “lover zone”… not the friend zone or boyfriend zone.

You want to communicate that you don’t want anything platonic… while at the same time, not making her feel pressured to be in an official relationship.

See, your girl probably wanted a break because she thought things were getting too serious and she felt overwhelmed by the commitment.

You want to address her objection of “this serious relationship stuff is overwhelming!” and stop doing the things that make her feel overwhelmed and make her seek space…

…while at the same time not accepting being “just friends”.

So you want to aim for the “not officially together but still hooking up” zone… in a way.

To do that, when you interact with her, only focus on hanging out and having fun, without talking about feelings, relationship label stuff, etc…

Make sense?

But now the most important part (And this is where most men mess up) is to…

4. Walk Away and Never Look Back

You tell her you don’t want to be just friends, and you MEAN IT.

This means you walk away, and NEVER contact her again… (not even on birthdays or holidays)…

Unless SHE makes contact… which at that point, you assume she wants to see you, and you make a date.

When you say what you mean and you mean what you say, you exhibit strong masculine behavior. This is very important if you want to attract your ex back and that’s why the fourth mistake is…

Mistake #4: Not Standing Up For Yourself

Example 1: When you want to be more than friends, but accept “being friends”… then you aren’t communicating what you want.

If you don’t communicate what you want, you aren’t standing up for yourself.

And when you fail to stand up for yourself by communicating what you want… your ex girlfriend will see you less as a man.

Take the remaining friends example. You are saying one thing, but secretly have an opposite agenda.

And that communicates weakness as a man.

Example 2: When your ex girlfriend blocks you or never texts you back

Here’s the deal, when you text a woman, you have to wait for her to get back to you.

If you text a woman, and she doesn’t reply… yet you still chase by bombarding her with more texts… that basically screams out weakness and that you don’t respect yourself enough.

It shows her that you don’t recognize your own value.

Think about it: would James Bond chase after a girl who blocked him on the phone? Helllll no!

He’s busy with his purpose in life, he’s got planes to jump out of and he

has an abundance of women to talk to who CARE about him.

You have to put your foot down and set boundaries to the women you ALLOW in your life. You only want women who respect you and who actually want you.

Women who are rude, bitchy, and who don’t like you… they are irrelevant. Chasing them is pathetic and a waste of time.

You have to walk away and never look back… and start talking to other girls who are sweet. The girls who like you. Girls who TREASURE YOU and VALUE who you are.

But if you chase chase chase, it only communicates that you are desperate and completely emotionally dependent on her.

And guess what?

You demean yourself when you do things like this. When you continue to pursue and chase after somebody who’s not reciprocating, it screams out that you don’t RESPECT yourself. And when you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect a woman to respect you?

And remember, when a woman doesn’t respect you, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for her to love you. It’s very important to keep that in mind.

Mistake #5: Not Being Centered on Your Purpose

One of the qualities that make women fantasize about being your girlfriend is when you are a man on your purpose.

When you become a man on your purpose, you become a warrior so focused on your “life mission” that you become unreactive to the bullshit feelings that usually accompany women and dating.

If you don’t have a purpose, you easily catch bullshit “WUSSY” feelings.

Feelings that knock you out of balance and make you lose control as a man.

Worst of all, these “WUSSY” feelings lead to behaviors that make women quickly lose attraction for you.

Behaviors like..

  • giving your away your masculine power in order to please her

  • being the needy boyfriend who always has to check in with her

  • easily getting jealous when she mentions other men

  • being constantly fearful of losing her

  • sacrificing your purpose and principles in order to avoid losing her

  • other behaviors in this “7 Dangerous Mistakes” list

However, when you have a clear purpose in your life, you don’t catch feelings, and these behaviors go away.

Imagine it like this. Imagine two large spheres in the vast emptiness of space.

One is the “bullshit” sphere and another is the “purpose” sphere.

Now imagine yourself going through life. You are like a little astronaut flying through space. If you don’t have a purpose… the giant bullshit sphere is going to suck you in.

You will always wonder where you stand with her. If she mentions another guy, you will easily get jealous. You will constantly about losing your girl to another guy… you will always have this “white noise” of fear in the back of your mind.

However, if you have a solid purpose sphere in your life… it keeps you GROUNDED.

The external forces of gravity coming from the “bullshit” sphere won’t affect you.

You might still feel some of the bullshit, but it will be a faint insignificant background noise instead of an overwhelming force that puts you out of balance.

That’s why it’s so important to have a purpose.

For me, that purpose is learning to understand and get better

with women. And learning to coach other men around the world to get

better as well.

What is your purpose? What vision do you have that you see yourself

doing in the future?

These days, your purpose can be almost anything… as long as you’re

passionate about it.

You don’t know what your purpose is? Go out and try new things.

Go sign up for a couple classes. Go read random books. Go sit through Wikipedia articles.

Do that, and it may take a while. Eventually it may take weeks or months…

But one day you’ll wake up and you may not want to do anything else but that one thing.

It will be the driving force that gets you to wake up in the morning. Something that you really love doing… that you don’t consider “work”.

Mistake #6: Not Understanding How Attraction Works

Here’s the deal: Without the skills and ability to create attraction, you will

NEVER feel in control of the situation with a girl, and you will never reach the success you want.

But if you don’t “get” attraction… you will keep behaving in a way that makes women lose attraction for you and dump you.

Therefore, it’s important to understand attraction.

However, it’s not obvious when we are “newbies” at it.

The Concept of Attraction Is Difficult For Most Men to Get

When we look around, we see that the concept of attraction is one that is rather difficult for most men to GET.

And ironically, it’s a concept that’s rather easy to understand, but because it’s so ILLOGICAL and COUNTER-INTUITIVE it’s also easy to miss entirely.

This leads us to the first principle of attraction…

Principle #1: Attraction is NOT Logical

When I first started to try and figure out this stuff, I kept running into the same challenges.

It seemed that every logical thing I did just didn’t work in a way that made any kind of sense.

One of the biggest mistakes I made was assuming that attraction works the same way for women than it does for men.

Now it makes sense that since men are attracted to looks and a sweet personality, that women should be too, right?

So if you thought about this logically, you would try to work this angle by buying nice clothes, doing nice things for women, and just being an all around great guy.

But NONE of that stuff seemed to be really helping, and I kept coming to the same conclusion:

I must not be attractive enough…I must not be good looking enough…I must not be rich enough… or I must not be SOMETHING enough.

I was doing everything that I could imagine to be a nice, sweet, great guy, but women just didn’t seem to respond in the way I wanted.

It must just be ME that’s the problem (is what I was thinking)

Well fortunately for me, I’m not one to quit easily.

So I stuck with it.

And I finally learned something that had a PROFOUND impact on my personal success with women…

Here’s the big revelation that I learned… and it’s the second principle of attraction:

Principle #2: Men Are Attracted to PHYSICAL Traits, Women Are Attracted to PERSONALITY Traits

Men are INSTANTLY attracted to the sight of a young, shapely female body. As a man, you know that this process happens instantly, and you don’t really have a CHOICE in the matter.

Well women are attracted when they INTERACT with a man that has certainly QUALITIES…and PERSONALITY traits.

Sure that a man that’s good-looking can catch her eye, but women become attracted over time to a different aspect – more to PERSONALITY.

So think about that for a moment.

Men become attracted to what they can SEE… Women become attracted to what can never be SEEN with the eyes.

Do physical looks, money, fame, power, height, age play into this at all? Of course they do.

But they’re not nearly as important as most people think they are (especially not as important as I thought they were).

How to trigger attraction in women? Build your personality and character SKILLS.

The Bottom Line

Attraction is different for men than it is for women.

While men are attracted mostly by physical traits, women are attracted mostly by personality traits.

Women don’t decide who to feel attracted to with their LOGICAL minds.

They “decide” with their emotions. Then they make up reasons with their mind to rationalize it.

And as David DeAngelo says… “Attraction isn’t a choice” (and this is principle #3)

Principle #3: “Attraction Isn’t a Choice”

This is the 3rd principle that you MUST internalize if you want to learn how to trigger attraction in women.

This is why some “naturals” trigger attraction in women so well, while others don’t…

It’s also why ANY man can improve his success with women DRAMATICALLY, no matter what he looks like, no matter what his age, his income, or how tall he is, or any of that stuff.

How? It’s simple: By learning the behaviors that create attraction. Lots of these behaviors are listed all throughout this report. Others you will learn as you read the articles I send you by email.

The fact is that it’s better to have a clear, proven guide to teach you how to get better with women and dating than to go about it on your own.

That’s why mistake #7 is…

Mistake #7: Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

I know, guys don’t like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don’t like to ask for help.

Hey, I’ve been there myself.

About six years ago, I became fed up with the fact that I didn’t know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.

Whenever I felt like I had a girl, I would quickly lose her. And I had no idea why.

It frustrated the hell out of me.

But instead of struggling forever, I made a google search and typed “signs a girl likes you.”

Little did I know that this tiny action had opened up a “Pandora’s Box” of internet dating advice that would forever changed my life. That google search was my very first step in figuring this stuff out.

That’s why if you’re still reading this lengthy, but important, report, I want to give you props and give you a “high-five.”

Because you’ve shown that you are actively looking for a solution to your painful problem. And it shows that you are committed to figuring out one of the most critical parts of your life: Being happy with your love life.

I also want to point you to the Ex Factor program… which shows you how to make your ex girlfriend fall in love with you again.

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Here’s what it really takes to make your ex girlfriend feel attraction for you again

1. When you broke up she probably proposed being just friends, but don’t accept it (mistake #3)

If she says let’s be friends, do not agree.

Remember, as a man, you have to communicate what you want directly. Going the “I’ll be in her friend zone and somehow later sneak my way into the boyfriend zone” is a bad way to go. It only leads to suffering.

Instead, say “I’m not interested in anything platonic, but get in touch if you change your mind and you want to start seeing each other like before”

And then WALK AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK.

2. Go no contact until she contacts you, then assume she wants to meet up and make a date

What often happens is that your ex girlfriend unexpectedly texts you out of the blue.

When a woman does this it means she is getting into your orbit… probably because you are on her mind and she misses you.

So what do you do? You assume she wants to see you and you make a date. Say “I’d like to see you, when are you free to get together?”

The next step is very important…

3. When you hang out, don’t talk about your feelings, relationship labels Don’t discuss what went wrong.

I’m going to hammer this into your head again and again and again. ONLY focus on hanging out, having fun, and hooking up.

Do not talk about your feelings. Do not jump the gun and force her to be your girlfriend again. Do not talk about mistakes you made in the past. Stop that!

Look, this is no different than when you meet a girl for the first time. You are free. You’re in the moment. You aren’t fearful about whether you can be in a “relationship” with her. No, you are just focused on having fun.

You should be having a date around once a week. After several dates of doing this, her love will slowly build back up until the point where she starts asking questions like “so, what are we?”

Make sense?

When you handle dating correctly… the woman is the one who brings up the relationship vibe. She’s the one who starts fantasizing you as her boyfriend, and asking you these relationship label questions.

But once you catch feelings too soon, before she gets a chance to fall in love with you… you push her away and you ruin her process for falling in love with you.

It’s like baking a cake in the oven. If you open the oven when it’s to soon… you ruin what you’ve got going (and you probably have to start over.)

In your case, you probably messed up with your ex girlfriend, and she lost attraction for you. That’s why you’re in “starting over” mode right now. In this report, gave you the process to start over and trigger her attraction back.

Here’s What To Do Now

1. Go out there and apply what I’ve shown you here. When you communicate with your ex girlfriend follow the rules that I’ve laid out, and avoid the mistakes. If you follow this advice, you will communicate strength… and your ex will start to notice. If you don’t follow it, you will keep committing the same mistakes that communicate weakness and you will never re-attract her.

2. Hit me up at frankie@championsofmen.com and let me know what you think of this report. If you’ve got any comments, suggestions, questions, or ways for me to improve it, let me know so I can keep delivering value to you.

3. Be on the look out for my next few emails. You will be receiving articles with “case studies” and specific advice on how to get your ex girlfriend back.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Frankie Cola