Competing For a Girl – Dealing With Competition From Other Men

When there’s a girl you can’t stop thinking about, she’s always on your mind every hour of the day.

This is something men typically do when they really like a girl.

They obsess about her in their head and device a plot to make her like them.

But soon you discover you’ve got competition.

ANOTHER GUY is also trying to make a move on this girl…and suddenly you feel like you must do something about it before he gets her and beats you to the punch.

To make matters worse, this girl isn’t giving you the attention she would give you before.

Instead, she’s giving more and more attention to the other guy… leaving you distressed.

Ever since you felt this shift happening, you’ve been fearful of losing her… and with good reason.

Make a wrong move, and you ruin your chance to win her over to your side.

But make the right move, and you can easily get her chasing you.

However, there are typical mistakes men make that you must avoid when competing for a girl.

The Biggest Mistake When Dealing With Competition From Other Men

This is one of the biggest mistake guys make when dealing with competition from other men.

It’s the idea that when you’re competing for a girl, you have to make the bold “romantic” move to win her over.

The idea that if you make a grand enough gesture, she’ll be impressed by what you did and she’ll realize she likes you too.

She’ll magically forget about the other guy and choose you, because you were bolder than him, and you beat him to the punch.

I mean, this is how it works in the movies, right?

Movies where the guy runs after the girl in the rain to proclaim “I love you!” And then when he does this, the girl suddenly realizes she likes him and also says “I love you too!”

Of course, we try to copy this in real life… but to our horror the girl’s says “eww get away”… and we get rejected.

I learned this the hard way. It took me a handful of rejections until I realized that what we’ve been brainwashed to believe by the movies simply isn’t true.

What we learn from movies makes us BAD with women… and distorts the reality of how attraction actually works.

In my case, I had to recondition my brain to re-learn attraction. I had to learn what “works” to get a woman to feel attraction for you.

Lucky for me, I stumbled upon a different way of thinking… and it changed EVERYTHING.

Abundance vs. Scarcity: The Big Revelation I Had

When you think “I really like this one girl, I must find a way to make her like me”…

…then you come from a desperation state of mind because you’re in SCARCITY.

In your life, you’ve probably had these very intense “crushes” on different girls you were infatuated with and obsessed over.

…and you thought that they were a big deal and so important in your life.

When you get a crush on a girl like that, it’s something we call oneitis… and it turns out that this is SCARCITY-based thinking.

Which brings me to the big revelation that I learned:

When you’re in scarcity, your mind DISTORTS reality and you exaggerate how important one girl is. You think you’re “in love” with her, but it’s all just a product of scarcity messing with your perception.

In other words, when you’re obsessing over a crush in a DESPERATION state of mind, you get IRRATIONAL but intense feelings that make you think she’s the only girl in the world for you…

…but this all happens because you’re in scarcity!

On the other hand…

When your thinking gets out of scarcity and goes to a higher-level ABUNDANCE based thinking, you wonder why the hell was I making such a big deal over this girl?

A abundance mentality is what you want, and it’s what will give you an edge over the competition.

Abundance vs. Scarcity When Dealing With Competition For a Girl

When you have competition, here’s what happens.

Basically, the guy with the most abundance, wins.

The guy in scarcity, who feels he NEEDS TO HAVE the girl, will usually do something stupid, like…

• Reveal his “feelings” for her…
• Send her flowers…
• Buy her a gift…

He will act more “try-hard” than the guy in abundance.

His neediness will make him behave in such a way that depends too much on the outcome.

On the other hand, the guy who’s in abundance behaves free of outcome. He is patient, knows how attraction works, and he knows he’s got other options if it doesn’t work out with this girl.

He doesn’t NEED to make it work with this girl.

If You’re in Scarcity…

If you feel too needy right now (and you probably do if you’re reading this) then you need to take a break from this girl until you feel less stressed over her.

Basically, you need to go more into abundance. (I also mention this other how to deal with competition for a girl article)

Go chat with other girls, convince your brain that if you lose this girl, it will be alright.

Yes, I know it seems counter-intuitive. It’s not what you want to hear.

You feel that if you let go of this girl, she’ll fly away like a bird and never come back…

…so all your brain wants to do right now is hold on to her tight and not let the girl get away.

But the exact opposite is what actually works.

If you don’t control that part of your brain that wants to chase and cage the girl, your neediness will manifest in your behaviors and then the girl will REALLY get away.

Next:  Learn how to make a girl REALLY like you