“Ex Girlfriend Loves Me But Doesn’t Want a Relationship” – 1 Way to Change Her Mind

by:

“Whenever one of my students says ‘my ex girlfriend loves me but doesn’t want a relationship’, there’s usually 1 reason she says this…”

When your ex girlfriend gives you mixed signals like this, you hit a dilemma… and you are confused as hell. Why does she feel this way?

It only makes sense that if a girl loves you, then she’ll become your girlfriend. It’s the next logical step, right?

So you pummel her with questions asking “if you love me, then why can’t we get back the relationship?”

But she replies by getting annoyed… or says “you just don’t understand”.

In fact, the responses she gives you can vary… but they all share a common reaction: She might not even know why she can’t be with you, but she will FEEL that she can’t be with you.

And that’s the 1 thing you must understand if you want to make her your girlfriend again.

She has to feel like being your girlfriend… not just agree with you “logically” that it’s a good idea to get together.

See, making an ex want to be your girlfriend again isn’t a case that you argue like a lawyer.

No matter how good your “logic” is… no matter how good the points you make… what she *feels* is the bottom line.

In fact, making her feel it is usually all that matters.

Even if she doesn’t “think” she should be your girlfriend, she will still want to be with you if she feels she does!

That’s why you see girls dating guys they know they shouldn’t be dating… but the guy simply knows how to trigger *intense* attraction in her and make her feel it.

“So how do I make her feel like being my girlfriend?” I can hear you asking.

It’s very simple.

To make her want you, you must eliminate 1 mistake you’re probably making.

The 1 Reason She Can’t Be With You* (Avoid This “Invisible” Mistake)

Whenever an ex girlfriend says she loves you, but also says she isn’t ready for a relationship, there’s usually 1 reason she says this.

The reason is that she feels that being with you causes her freedom to go away.

She feels a “relationship pressure” — that if she becomes official with you, all her space will get crowded… and then she’ll feel overwhelmed.

That’s why whenever you interact with her, you must allow her to feel free.

“Love in a way that makes her feel free”

  • Don’t try to force the “relationship label”
  • Don’t smother her by texting her 24/7 because you seek validation from her texts
  • Don’t ask where you stand with her because you’re concerned about “losing her”

That kind of smothering and drama makes her feel “less free”…and makes her fade away.

Instead, act in a way that gives her space and allows her to come to you. Only focus on fun, without making it an “official” thing.

As Coach Corey Wayne says: Only focus on hanging out, having fun, and hooking up… without trying to put a label on it.

Case Studies: When Your Girlfriend Loves You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship

Now let’s put this concept to some context.

Below I go through a couple questions from two of my students, who are probably in the same situation as you.

They have a girl who likes them, but aren’t ready for a relationship.

PAY CLOSE ATTENTION as the advice I give them will probably benefit you.

Question #1: Ex Girlfriend Loves Me But Doesn’t Want a Relationship

Hey Frankie,

Over the last two months I started talking to an ex girlfriend who I dated last summer.

Everything was going well.

She even said whenever she was out with someone, she ended up thinking about me.

So she broke up with the guy she had been seeing because he wasn’t me.

And then she said that I was the only guy she was talking to.

We decided to take things slow, yet she would ask me to sleep at her house, and even ask me questions about marriage and things like that.

Which made me excited to think that she actually wants this!

However…

About a week ago, my friend discovered her profile on a dating website.

When he showed me, this surprised me because things were going well and she explicitly told me that she had no use for sites like that.

So then I asked her about it.

She reminded me that we were taking things slow, but still single.

I said “yes, I know… but based on the words you said to me, I had the idea that we were more or less exclusive but not technically official.”

She said she loves but but doesn’t want a relationship… so we’re still both single.

So I asked how do we change that? She said with time.

I asked if she still wanted to try working things out or if she’s trying to find someone else.

She said no, she’s not trying.

So the next couple of days passed and our interactions were pretty awkward, but she she said she still wanted to talk and stuff.

That Sunday, I texted her “Hi.” Nothing…

Monday, I texted her “Hope you have a nice day.” Nothing…

Didn’t text her at all on Tuesday.

Wednesday, I said “I hope we can still continue to work things out. All I want is to have fun and enjoy spending time together. You don’t have to ghost.”

She responded by saying she needs space because I haven’t changed.

She says I’m emotional sometimes.

Which isn’t exactly true. I show some extra emotion towards her because I like her, yes.

And when she starts talking to me like she does like with the marriage stuff, I kind of let my guard down a little more.

So I said, I understand and I will give you space. But I have changed and I’ll prove it if you let me.

She said I don’t get it.

And I said No, I do, I’ll leave you alone.

And that was the last interaction we had.

Help, please.

– Mike

My Reply: You Started Well, But then the Relationship Moved too Fast

Hey Mike,

It started off very well, but then you fell into a trap that caused the 1 big problem.

At first she was giving you positive signs that she was very into you.

  • She said she was only thinking about you
  • She said you were the only guy she was talking to
  • She asked you to sleep over at her house
  • She talked about the future
  • She asked you questions about marriage… etc.

All very positive signs. She said those things in those moments because that’s how she truly felt during that time.

Her attraction was high… and it was great.

But, as you said… this caused you to “let your guard down”.

It made you think your future together was guaranteed and you made moves to secure the relationship.

However that’s when she got distant.

Right now she probably still likes you, but she doesn’t want to rush into a serious relationship.

And when you ask her questions about the “relationship label” by saying “how do we change that” (changing being single into a relationship) or when you ask her if she’s trying to find someone else… or “I hope we can continue to work things out”.

That’s what the woman is supposed to be doing.

The feminine energy wants to bond and take the relationship to the next level.

Let her be the one who brings up those topics.

The masculine just focuses on hanging out, having fun, and hooking up.

But the masculine doesn’t try to cage the woman into a relationship.

The feminine instead is the one who tries to lock down the masculine into a relationship.

Don’t even bring up “let’s talk and work this out”… there’s nothing to “work out”.

Assume that it’s not a problem and nothing happened.

The masculine doesn’t become emotionally weakened if she fades a bit.

She wants a man who is strong at his core and doesn’t freak out if she fades a bit.

If you’re non-exclusive friends with benefits without the relationship label and you’re worried she is not 100% yours guaranteed, you will be forced to attempt more things to “capture her”, but that will only push her away even more.

Instead, your goal is to only focus on “fun” without bringing up relationship labels and that’s how you increase her attraction level back up.

Related Articles:

Question #2: Ex Girlfriend Loves Me, But Only Wants Friendship

Hi Frankie, I just read your amazing report: 7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back.

I thought it was fantastic and wish I had read it before.

I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible and maybe you can offer some advice.

Last May, my girlfriend broke up with me.

We had dated for almost 2 years and I made some mistakes along the way that broke her trust.

No cheating, but lying, looking at dating sites, etc.

A month before the break-up she said that she trusted me again and that I was the love of her life.

Then a month later, I was blindsided by the break-up. I know I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t.

Well I did the usual guy stuff: Sent her letters, calls, texts, e-mails, even drove past her house… with no luck.

We talked 3 months later and then she told me that she met someone, which turned out to be a lie, she just did that to distance herself from me.

After Christmas, out of the blue she showed up at my house and we had a nice reunion and we ended up celebrating New Year’s Eve together.

That was nice, but after that she got cold again.

A couple of weeks passed and we started talking on Facebook and met up a couple of times.

We communicate off and on on FB, but there have been several times where she wanted to just go our separate ways.

Two weeks ago she brought up all the old issues and told me on FB it was over.

I didn’t respond and about a week later she reached out to me, told me she loved me, that she always loved me, but she didn’t know how to let go of the pain of the past and move forward.

However, she did say that she wanted us to start as friends and see if we could be a couple again.

We talked about things we want to do this summer and she went back and forth with I love you’s and then only wanting a friendship.

She is very hot and cold and now she is in friendship mode.

Unfortunately, I agreed to be “just friends” right now, but as mentioned in your report. That was a bad move because I want her back as my girlfriend and eventually, my wife.

The question I have, is what should I do here. I don’t want to step back away from her, she told me I am a great support and means everything to me, but I want more than just being a friend.

Thanks so much!

– Pete

My Reply: Don’t Bring Up Future Plans or Becoming a Couple – That’s the Woman Department

Hey Pete, so you’re getting hot and cold mixed signals from her.

The problem I see is that when you start talking about future plans, and becoming a couple… that puts relationship pressure on her.

If she brings those topics up, that’s a great sign… but don’t initiate them, or linger on them too much.

Let the woman bring up those topics. It’s a feminine thing to bond and want to take the relationship to the “next level”.

On your end, just be playful and jokey if ever brings them up. Don’t take it serious.

The key to getting back her attraction is to stop worrying about the relationship label and only focus on fun.

This actually gives you a better chance of making her your girlfriend in the future.

Right now since you can’t meet, then I guess text is the only way to communicate.

But when you can meet again, only focus on hanging out, having fun, and hooking up.

If when you’re together, you initiate the deep serious topics of becoming a couple and future plans, that will take the interaction to a heavy place where she gets distant.

So again, only focus on fun, making jokes, being playful.

What to do Now?

Sit back and let her reach out. Let her come to you.

Let her be the one who initiates during this time.

Then when she does, only focus on light, positive, funny conversation topics.

Flirt and hint at suggestive things, but no serious relationship stuff.

Remember: You want to make her feel free.

As you sit back and wait, focus on yourself. Hang out with other friends, talk to other girls, and learn more about attraction.

In particular, this video reveals little-known techniques to “rewire” your ex’s feelings and make her want you back