Ex Girlfriend Needs a Break From Dating

The ex girlfriend you’re trying to get back shoots down your hopes by saying she needs a break from dating.

This hurts because you’ve been wanting to get her back ever since she broke up with you… and you felt like you were getting close as she gave you positive signals… but now you are left rejected.

Where do you go from here?

In this article I go through two specific “case studies” where an ex girlfriend needs a break from dating.

You will learn:

• What it means when a girl uses the words “I need a break”
• How to respond with your words and actions such that you maximize your chances to re-attract her back
• How to make her your girlfriend again

When a Girl Says “I Need a Break”

There are very specific reasons a girl says “I need a break”.

Some of them are…

1. She’s not feeling the attraction for you in this moment

2. She thinks getting into a committed relationship with you will create pressure and drama she wants to avoid

3. She thinks you like her too much, way more than she likes you, and is afraid of hurting you if she gets together with you but it doesn’t work out

All of these are important to keep in mind as you read through the case studies I share below.

In the first case study, the guy’s jealousy gets the best of him. After going overseas on a job for a while, he starts worrying about his girlfriend being with other guys. This neediness makes his girlfriend lose attraction and she eventually breaks up with him. 

They do keep in touch afterwards, however… which leads them to having conversations.

One day, they were having a conversation and he wanted to try his luck… so he told her his intention of getting back together with her again, but she shot him down by saying she’s taking a break from dating and doesn’t have the same feelings for him anymore.

Now if any of this rings a bell, you’ll want to keep reading as I go through this story in more detail.

Question From a Reader #1: Ex Girlfriend Lost Feelings For Me and Needs a Break From Dating

Hey Frankie, I’ll try to keep it short.

So I went away on a work trip for about two months. During that time I became needy, jealous, and insecure.

When I came back home I ended up arguing with her and accused her of talking to other guys while I was away (accused her of cheating).

After that incident, she wouldn’t meet up with me for anything.

Then on thanksgiving she said she wanted a break… so I did the unmanly, unattractive thing of begging and pleading.

A week later she emphasized that she indeed wanted to break up.

My response was “okay you do you and I’ll do me”… and she was surprised by my answer. She said she cares about me, and would like to still talk to me and eventually meet up.

After that conversation I reluctantly started to distance myself from her, during this time she reached out to me by texting, calling, but being hot and cold AF with me at the same time.

That was three months ago. These days she still reaches out from time to time to talk about things… and I still keep my distance.

One day we had a conversation and I told her that I do want her back and that if given a second chance I would do everything right.

She shot me down by saying that she is taking a break from dating for a while, but she does care about me, would still like to talk from time to time, and eventually meet to catch up. But she doesn’t have the same feelings for me.

I told her I understood and ended the call. I started to further distance myself from her, but she would still reach out from time to time.

See, she and I both work for the same company so one day she and a friend of her’s came to my work space and she formally introduced her friend to me.

I went to go on a lunch break and she and her companion followed me they spent the entirety of my break hanging out with me.

About two weeks later I got free tickets to basketball game, so I invited her and her response was “I was going to say yes, but I also have tickets so I’m going too”.

She and still talk from time to time but it’s mostly while we’re at work.

I’m a bit hesitant on asking her to do anything of work because I don’t want to get rejected.

My friends and family insist that I need to make a move, and that she indeed does have feelings for me.

But I feel that she’s very stubborn and will want to stick to her decision on breaking up with me.

What should I do?

– Anthony

My Reply: Don’t Aim For The Relationship Label Right Away!

Hey Anthony, I read your story…

And there was one glaring thing I noticed, that if you fix, it might give you a chance to get her back.

The moment I noticed this was when you said “one day she and I had a conversation and I had told her that I do want her back and that if given a second chance I would do everything right.”

See, the problem is that, at that moment, she didn’t want to get the relationship label back right away.

In fact, neither of the two typical paths (trying to get the label back versus being platonic friends) are beneficial to you.

Instead, you need to do something that’s closer to friends with benefits.

We know that being in the friend zone with your ex won’t get you where you want, but trying to get the label back won’t either. It’ll just put pressure on her and she won’t be ready.

That’s probably what she meant when she said “she is taking a break from dating for a while.”

She doesn’t want the pressure of having to commit… or having “girlfriend duties” to do.

However, if it was non-serious no-strings-attached fun, she might be open to it.

Therefore, when you talk, there has to be a suggestion that you don’t want anything serious… or that you just want “fun”.

This has to be communicated somehow.

But if you show her that you’re worried about other guys, or that you feel needy for the relationship label, then that’ll just push her away…

Because she wants more freedom at this stage in her life.  

Start From the Beginning

When a girl loses attraction, and you’re in the spot of trying to get her attraction back… the key is to start from the beginning.

Think about the natural progression of a relationship.

How does a relationship naturally begin? You hang out with a girl, you have fun, and then you start fooling around or “hooking up”.

Whether it’s making out, or sex, there’s usually a stage with “benefits” before her attraction increases even more and she feels like becoming your girlfriend.

So when you already had a girl but you lost her… and you’re plotting to get her back… the mental shift you need to make is from trying to be her “boyfriend” to trying to be her “lover”.

Read more about this here: How to Keep a Girl Interested By Playing the Lover Role

Question From a Reader #2: My Ex Girlfriend Needed a Break From Dating But Now She’s Dating Someone New

Hey Frankie,

I dated a girl for half a year and she broke up with me seven months ago saying she just didn’t feel the same way anymore and she needed a break from dating.

That was weird to me because we seemed happy with each other for several weeks… so it really came out of nowhere.

After breaking up with me I told her I needed time away from her (zero contact)… but she didn’t seem to respect that and still messaged me asking me how I was doing days and weeks into the breakup.

After four months of working on myself and with minimal contact with her, she shows back up and greets me on my birthday as if nothing had happened.

We start going out again as friends seven months after the break up, and then December comes and she tells me she has two suitors (I didn’t see the need for her to bring that up but it was alright with me).

I knew I wanted to get back together with her but I didn’t want to force anything cause she was clear with me and told me straight up “I need a break from dating and I just don’t feel enough for you to get back into a relationship with you.”

Fast forward to last week, we went on a trip and she got drunk. Made moves on me the entire night and made out with me… but now claims she doesn’t remember anything.

A few days later she tells me she got back together with her other ex (one of the suitors she mentioned in December).

I’m so confused… first she needs a break from dating, then she makes out with me, and now she becomes “official” with this guy? This is all while sending me mixed signals that make me think she’s into me.

I want to get her back but now that she’s officially with this guy, I’m not sure how to approach this.

Given how she has been with me, I think she still has feelings for me which is why I want to go for it.

Help,
Ishmael

My Reply: She’s Not “Serious” With Her Relationships, Aim For “Friends With Benefits”

Hi Ishmael,

Oftentimes women attraction without us noticing. They tend to hide their feelings, or sugarcoat things to cover up the attraction loss, until she breaks up with you by surprise

Sounds like she’s not that serious right now with her relationships.

Even if she says she’s official with that guy, it’s her actions that count, not the “official” sticker that’s put on the relationship.

Feelings are fickle and can change from one week to the other.

So take her new relationship with a grain of salt… chances are it won’t last long.

However, how she behaves is still something out of your control. And stressing over things you can’t control only creates suffering.

Take control by setting boundaries on the things you focus your mind on.

Focus it on other things other than this girl — on hobbies, your purpose, on other girls… you have options.

Ironically, the thing you do to move on and feel better, is what also gives you the best chance of getting her back in the future, because with a stronger mindset you suddenly come off much more attractive.

You already know this though. After all, it was after four months of working on yourself that she came back into your life!

Just do it again and go back to focusing on yourself (and only on what you can control).

If in the future she happens to text you out of the blue as if nothing happened, make sure you don’t try to get her back because any commitment pressure will push her away again.

Only focus on hanging out, having fun, and hooking up. Don’t aim for the “relationship zone”… but for the “lover zone”.

Think “friends with benefits”. When she thinks your intentions are just to have fun and have sex with her, you actually have a better chance than if she thinks you’re desperate to become her boyfriend.

Therefore, if you can regularly hook up with her without ever bringing up the relationship label, then you’ll likely increase her attraction level so much that she’ll be the one asking relationship questions.

That gives us the solution to making her your girlfriend again: Have good sex with her without bringing up labels and that’s when she starts getting intense feelings for you.

What to do Now:

1. Read my FREE “7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back” eBook

Click Here to Sign Up to Get This Free eBook By Email, Instantly

2. Learn How to Use the “Ex Factor” to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Take 5 minutes to watch this video that teaches you a few little-known techniques to re-wire your ex’s feelings and make her want you back.