When you’re getting mixed signals from a girl you’re dating, it’s like stepping on both the accelerator and the brakes.
You want to get this relationship started. There is so much potential… but the girl seems undecided.
One day she has feelings for you, the next day she ignores your texts.
How to proceed?
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Learn From These Case Studies of Guys Getting Mixed Signals From a Girl They’re Dating
Students often email me when they’re dating a new girl who sends them mixed signals and drives them crazy.
Mixed signals from a girl could be:
- Hot and cold behavior: She acts hot and cold from one day to the other
- She seems hesitant to commit
- She likes you, but needs time or space to figure things out
- She likes you, but she also likes another man
Your exact situation probably has at least one of these qualities.
So pay close attention as I go through these case studies, you may get something useful out of them.
Let’s start with an email from our good friend Gary.
***Question #1***
Hi Frankie,
Me and my ex are now slowly getting back together.
We see each other a lot and regularly sleep and have sex together.
It has been a year that we’re having this kind of non-official relationship.
However, I recently discovered (by looking at her messages) that she’s now also talking to someone else, and, from what she tells her friends, she’s quite into this guy.
I don’t think they are yet dating because he lives in a different city. I also saw in her messages that she is confused on what to do.
I think the point is that she feels good with me but doesn’t feel the passion she was feeling before. Maybe she’s looking into this other guy to maybe find this missing passion.
What should I do? Confront her with my findings? Or be more manly and just let things evolve themselves?
What’s the key ingredient to get her passion back?
You truly are a savior. Thanks in advance Frankie!
– Gary
>>>My Comments
Hey Gary,
The reactive instinct for most guys in this situation is to make a move and “do something” by either
- Confronting the girl
- Trying to lock her down into a more “official” relationship
- Giving her some sort of ultimatum
…but these actions only make you less attractive and drive her away.
Because when a girl grows unclear about her feelings for you, she needs space to sort them out, and trying to force her decision backfires against your wishes.
In addition, women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.
If you show that you want her too much compared to how much the other guy wants her, then he would have the advantage.
So the key ingredient to get her attraction back is to create space and let her come to you.
Let her be the one who initiates contact during this time. Give her the “gift” of missing you.
In the meantime, as you create space…
1. Focus on yourself, your passions, and hobbies. It’s the best time for self-growth and self-development.
2. Gain more options with other women. Right now, she’s the one who has more options. She has other guys to choose from… so the dynamic is out of balance and it’s putting you in a tough situation that makes you feel powerless and dependent on her decision.
If you have more options as well, then you gain your power back, and you end up in a much better situation emotionally.
And whether you gain more options with women, or you work on yourself to grow as a man, you’re moving towards abundance.
***Question #2***
Hi Frankie
I’ve been reading all your emails after messing up so many times.
And all I can say is that I’m still learning!
I had a couple of dates that were going well for an instant before suddenly getting sucked into the black hole.
Here are the 2 cases that really messed me up…
Case 1: Before reading your techniques
I met this girl online (Instagram) and we were liking and commenting on each other’s photos for over a year until I decided to reach out and DM her.
It so happens that she was my “A10” — my all in one type of girl.
We had so much in common and everything was perfect about her.
We talked over 7 months and since we were in different countries, we made
plans to meet up and spend time together.
But just like you mention in your teaching emails, she suddenly vanished and after a couple of days, she reached out with a bunch of excuses on how it’s not working and she’s not feeling the same.
I was shocked and started to ask her questions on what I did wrong and how we could work things out.
Turned out we stayed friends.
Case 2: After reading your techniques
This one gutted me the most!
I started talking to a girl who I’ve known for soo long.
Funny thing is I’m 24 and she’s 19, but she used to act really mature around me!
After a week of texting, we set up a date, went to the movies and everything was perfect.
We suddenly connected in every aspect and there was so much flirting and even kissing and physical contact.
After our first date she keep on calling me and FaceTiming me which was weird because must of the girls I’ve been dating don’t usually want to call or video chat.
Over the next month we went on 3 dates.
And it seemed like everything was good…
…until one day.
One day we went to the gym together, and got uncomfortable when I tried to touch or kiss her.
I asked her if she was uncomfortable and she said she that there was too much physical contact.
She said that she would like me to play “hard to get” when we were together.
So I gave her space by not replying too quickly to her texts or and by not giving her so much attention like I did before.
A week later, I told her that I wanted to get serious…
But she gave me the ultimate excuses list:
- That I’m a really nice guy, and we would probably make a perfect couple…
- That it’s not my fault, but her fault
- That she’s not ready for a commitment because she’s insecure
- blah blah blah
As always, my reaction was stupid asking her why a bunch of times and
trying to figure out what I did wrong!
Since then, I haven’t heard from her. We went full no contact.
I would like to know how to properly approach her without scaring her away, if she decides to reach out.
Or even how to make sure that I don’t overreact to other girls I like in the future.
It’s stupid because everybody says I’m very good looking (both beauty and body) but it seems that I can’t work out how to keep a girl before she leaves me.
So please help me out!
David
>>>My Comments
Hey David,
In Case 2 it looks like she felt smothered.
So it’s good that you pulled back a bit.
You afterwards made the big mistake of trying to make things “serious”.
See, when a girl fades away, she does so because she wants to be LESS serious, she doesn’t feel ready for a committed relationship.
So when you attempt to fix things by making the relationship more serious,
it pushes her away to the point that she wants to break up.
I mention this in this article that explains 3 reasons a girl suddenly goes distant (In particular, read about the “3rd trap”).
In fact, here are other related articles:
- Girl Says She Has a Lot Going On Right Now? 1 Mistake to Avoid
- She Wants to Slow Down the Relationship – When a Girl Says You Are Moving Too Fast
- Girlfriend Needs Space? Here’s How to Get Her Back
When you interact with a girl in a new budding relationship, you must have the attitude that you’re not looking for anything serious, and all you want to do is have fun.
And let me tell you a big secret: If a girl thinks you just want to have fun and “bang” you have a higher chance of making her your girlfriend than if she thinks you want to quickly want to “get serious” into a proper relationship.
As for this current girl who has faded away, let her come to you, and don’t contact her anymore until she initiates contact. Then when she does, invite her over your place and create a fun romantic opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun, and hook up.
If you kiss, make her chase. If she wants to kiss, do an almost kiss then pull back. It’s fun.
If you’re reading this and you feel you resonate with these stories, then take the following steps if you’re getting mixed signals from a girl you’re dating.
What to do Now:
1. Read my FREE “7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back” eBook
Click Here to Sign Up to Get This Free eBook By Email, Instantly
2. Learn how to use the “Ex Factor” to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
