You are worried about your girlfriend acting distant over text, but not in person.
In person she acts “lovey dovey”… which gives you sigh of relief that “everything is going to be ok”.
However this is only giving you a false sense of security…
And here’s why…
When a woman loses attraction, she fades away slowly over time. This means that she doesn’t lose her love for you all in one night.
And the reason is that, as women fade away, they sometimes tend to “sugarcoat” that attraction loss.
See, while her attraction loss is evident through her texting behavior, in person she covers it up by “playing the part” of your girlfriend.
And once her attraction has completely faded, and she reveals she wants to break up.
It catches you off guard… and you are in for a tragic surprise.
Related: “Girlfriend Dumped Me Out of the Blue”
That’s why you must identify this problem early, so that you can make a shift to get your girlfriend’s attraction level back up.
What you must do in this situation, is create space.
I explain more in the story below.
You will notice the guy in the story always FaceTimes this girl.
What must he do here? He must change the pattern and create space, to allow the woman to regain the feelings of attraction for you…
…and once she does, she will be “warmer” over text because she will be more eager to text YOU.
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Question: Girlfriend Acting Distant Over Text, But Not in Person
Hey Frankie,
I haven’t actually broken up with my girlfriend, but I feel her fading away.
She is distant, but still texts. She acts like this cold girl over text but when I meet her she’s all lovey dovey.
She would hold my hand and let me put my arms around her and we would kiss…but I don’t understand why my girlfriend acts so distant over text?
The question I want to ask is:
We usually facetime everyday at night but we stopped for a few weeks since we both are in vacation with our own family. Now that vacation is over… should I facetime her like usual again?
Because she has turned cold lately, I have made myself less available than usual, as your eBook told me not to be so available.
I was just wondering if I should facetime her like usual, and thanks btw for your advice and the free eBook!
– Vincent
My Reply: Reduce Your Texting Dramatically
Hey Vincent, she is definitely fading away so it’s important to fix potential problems.
First, I recommend not texting her as much and not facetiming.
Facetiming and texting everyday is way too much. This can overwhelm her and make her feel smothered. It’s probably why she seeks space right now.
Instead, save everything for when you meet her face to face.
Then in-between meets, don’t contact her until the next time you see her… or until you make plans to see her.
Use texting primarily to arrange meets.
This is important because you want to create space in between meets, in order to cause mystery to develop.
That’s how you make her think about you when you’re away and you keep her interested.
You do this naturally when you already have a purpose/career/passion in life that keeps you busy, and if you have other friends to hang out with.
But if all you have is this girl, you’ll have the urge to always be in contact with her.
And then if she starts fading away, you fall into the trap of contacting her more to keep her from fading.
However, contacting her too much is what is pushing her away, so you must create space!
The fact that she is distant, but still texts, means you still have a chance. She still texts so she isnt completely pulling away from you.
Related: What to do When Your Girlfriend Wants a Break
Right now, let her come to you.
Don’t contact her until she reaches out.
Then when she does contact you, set up a meet. Don’t do any more facetimes, and only text to set up dates.
Only set up dates about once a week, and create space in between dates.
Yes, I understand that no contact will feel weird and empty.
Especially if you’re used to contacting her every single day.
You will feel a big void.
You’ll feel the impulse to reach out at her because you depend on her texts for good emotions.
However, the more you go at her, the more you push her away.
Too much contact makes her feel overwhelmed. She has no space to breathe. No space to think about you and miss you.
Hot and Cold Cycles
It is very common to ride a hot and cold cycle with your ex girlfriend.
Over a certain period, she is eager to see you and talk to you.
But then your girlfriend goes cold and acts distant towards you.
This is the point you are at right now, and it’s important to know how to
BREAK OUT of that cycle.
After all, you want a strong, steady relationship where you aren’t worried about your girlfriend losing interest.
Let’s say you follow my advice in this article, and you begin going no contact to create space… and you let the woman reach out first.
What should happen after a certain period of time, is that the girl is suddenly eager to talk to you again. That space you created made her miss you and long for you.
You Are Back in the “Hot” Stage of the Hot and Cold Cycle
What most guys do here is they breathe a sigh of relief and suddenly start texting their girlfriend every single day (just like before). If you’ve been a good student, you know that this will cause the girl to go cold on you again!
Instead, maintain the healthy level of space. Only meet your girl about once a week, face-to-face, and then create space all the other days.
When you notice your girlfriend acting distant over text, but not in person, then you’re in the first stage of attraction fading away. This may soon lead to a breakup.
If your girlfriend already broke up with you, or if you’re still together but she’s losing feelings, then listen up.
If you want to learn a simple series of steps you can take… starting right now… to “re-attract” your ex girlfriend and change the way she feels about you, watch the video here:
Free Video: How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Make it happen!
Frankie
Articles Linked to in the Content Above
How to Deal With a Hot and Cold Ex Girlfriend
Why is She So Cold and Distant? When Your Girlfriend Pulls Away, Avoid This Mistake