Girlfriend Wants a Break – When She Says She Needs Space, Do THIS

“Expressing your feelings… being too romantic… showing her you care. All of those things shouldn’t be done so soon or you scare the girl away and she ignores you.”

Girlfriend wants a break?

Things are going just fine, they are almost perfect, but then the woman starts going cold.

You know something is wrong.

You feel it in the pit of your stomach.

And no matter what you do, the woman keeps becoming more and more distant.

Until she blurts out: “I need a break”.

Why does your girlfriend want a break?

If you’re in this situation, you’ll want to keep reading.

Question: Girlfriend feels overwhelmed and wants a break

Hey Frankie how are ya brother…here is my situation..

I was dating this girl for about 5 months. I am 43 yrs old, have a good job, stable life, got my shit together. She is almost 39 with a 15 yr old daughter who just adores me.

Anyways this girl fell hard for me…. like saying I’m amazing, that she wants me for the rest of her life, that she has never loved any one like she loves me.

We were even planning on moving in together…just all the sappy shit bro.

However, one day she and her friend were sitting down talking and I was in the conversation also.

They said that they liked men who texted them and asked them how their day was going… Basically let them know that they are thinking of them.

So I did it. I texted her almost every morning and said you know the good old sappy stuff and she would reply at first… but then I started getting no replies.

To make a long story short I would clean her house, fold her laundry, wash her bed sheets, do the dishes most of the time… because  I am a clean guy.

Anyways a few Friday’s ago she went to a family bbq and I texted her to ask how she was doing but got no text back.

I was like “OK”, so I called her about 9pm, but got no answer. Then at 10pm I texted her daughter asking them if they were ok… no response.

She then called me at 10:30pm saying that her phone was in her purse on vibrate and all that nonsense… and said she would call me the next day.

However, she didn’t call me until like 4pm and that was very ok because she calls me like 3times a day.

I sent her texts after the call but she didn’t reply.

She would not say I love you anymore… I was like “something is up”.

I had the gut feeling that something was wrong…So I sent her a text saying “hey my girl I love you” and the nice stuff… but I got no text back up until the next day.

The next day she said “we gotta talk” and gave me the good old break up talk.

She said she felt overwhelmed and that I rushed into it and got too excited and this and that.

It’s weird… she loved me like 3 days ago but now she flipped ona dime and changed her attitude towards me.

Now I have done the no contact rule with my ex girlfriend, and my mind is thinking that she broke up with me because of another guy… what do you think happened buddy?

– Jerry

My Comments: You started off great but then got too excited and crowded her space

Hey Jerry,

At first everything was going awesome, and it’s because whatever you were doing was working!

However, the conversation you had with her and her friend tricked you into thinking that to make the girl like you, you’re supposed to text her all the time, say sappy romantic stuff, and let her know you’re on her mind.

But acting clingy and texting her every morning crowds her space, turns her off, and now your girlfriend wants a break.

So the advice you took from her of what to do made you start doing all the things that you SHOULDN’T do and it drove her away. (This shows why you should take women’s advice on attracting them with a grain of salt)

What you should pay attention to is not what she says will attract her, but her BEHAVIOR based on what you do.

And what you were doing at the beginning is what was WORKING.

When you started to over-text her to show that she was on your mind 24/7, it completely turned her off.

For now, don’t text her anymore.

Know that more sappy and romantic stuff isn’t what actually attracts her.

Expressing your feelings… being too romantic… showing her you care. All of those things shouldn’t be done so soon or you scare the girl away and she ignores you.

See, a woman becomes attracted to you not because you act more romantic, she gets attracted due to the qualities of your masculine character that triggers attraction in her.

The romantic stuff is just something that highlights the interaction AFTER she already feels attraction for you… but it doesn’t CREATE the attraction.

Let the woman be the one to bring up feelings, bonding, and let her say the sappy romantic stuff.

It’s ok to do it too. But don’t do it more than her. When the man does more sappy romantic gestures than the woman, it can shift the polarity and chemistry. Especially if it’s too early in the relationship.

So you did romantic stuff, and she got distant… but then you felt like you had to text her more and do more “romantic stuff” to get her back…

But this only pushed you deeper into the hole. (And not the hole you wanted)

That’s why she said she felt overwhelmed and that you rushed into the relationship too much.

What you should have done instead is let her be the one who texts you more. Let her come to you.

You say when things were going well she called you 3 times a day. That was an awesome place to be in.

That’s when you let her chase you by calling you all those times. No need to send her so many texts throughout the day… that only kills the mystery and crowds her space.

I wrote about this in this article: “Why is your girlfriend so cold and distant?”

What to do now: No contact until she reaches out

Get your stuff from her place, only contact her to arrange getting your stuff, and go NO CONTACT from then on until she reaches out.

There’s a chance she might reach out since she was so attracted before. Once she gets enough space she might start wondering about you and her feelings might come back.

When she does contact you again, change your behavior to how you were at the beginning.

Only text to make plans to meet. Only focus on hanging out and hooking up. Don’t try to convince her to get the “relationship label” back. Let her be the one to bring it up.

Question: Girlfriend Feels Overwhelmed and Wants a Break

Hey Frankie,

Hope you’re doing fine.

I’m Rich and right now my girlfriend wants a break.

Me and my girlfriend were happy. She was happy. She liked it the way it was.

Until something happened.

She started to get really busy… and it made me pressure her to call me more and text me more and that was really bad.

We argued and decided to take a break for a few days cause she went to Spain for vacation.

After the vacation, we met and it was normal, and a few days later we decided to have a movie night.

She came but wasn’t feeling it. She said she didn’t feel anything when I kissed her, hugged her, and held her hand.

She was crying she didn’t know why she felt like that… even though she was happy with what we had before.

She says that she knows that I am trying my best and she is “mean” so she feels bad.

She says she feels overwhelmed and wants a break, because she needs space… but thinks we can get through this together.

I don’t know what to do. What if she lost feelings for me completely? When should I contact her?

She said she wants her feelings back but how make that happen?

There is a lot to think about. I don’t want to give up. Even though we’re on a break sometimes we contact each other to see how we’re doing.

What do I do?

Rich

My Reply: Pressuring Her to Call You More Made Her Feel Lose Attraction

Hey Rich,

She was really into you at first… but then she got pressured and smothered when you wanted her to call and text you more.

That behavior makes your girlfriend want space and say she wants a break.

Later when she said she didn’t feel anything, she said she knew you were “trying your best”…but maybe that is part of the issue.

Whenever you are doing all the work and she isn’t investing, it can cause a woman to lose feelings.

There’s no challenge anymore.

Plus, you subcommunicate that she is more important than you by trying more than she does.

So make sure your investment is reciprocated by her.

Let her come to you at her own pace. Don’t contact her anymore unless she initiates.

Usually, in a relationship that is thriving, you should let the woman do 80% of the reaching out, at least.

How often have you been texting her? Are you still in no contact?

Let her text first, let come to you, and when you text make sure you aren’t sending a lot of texts while she’s writing only a little.

You know what I mean?

His Reply: Not Contacting Her Anymore

Hey Frankie,

I don’t text her at all.

What should I do when she will reach out first about going out not a date but hanging out?

How should I act ?

My Reply: Don’t Contact Her Until She Reaches Out, But Don’t Focus on the Relationship Label Either

Hey Rich, good, don’t text her unless she reaches out.

Then when she wants to hang out, make the location either near your place or at your place… and make it an evening date.

Make it clear that you don’t want anything platonic and that you don’t want to be just friends.

However, don’t try to get the relationship label back either.

You want to get together to hang out, have fun, and hookup, but without bringing up relationship topics or that will push her away at this stage.

Let her be the one to bring up those topics.

Watch: 5 Romantic Mistakes That Kill Attraction