Your breakup or rejection is an inciting incident that gives you emotional leverage.
This intense spike of motivational energy kicks you off on a journey to get good with women.
Your mind focuses on it so much that it becomes your purpose.
You search online to learn new things, You are so motivated to find what you seek, that it makes you land on my site.
After all, I purposefully rank for the keywords you searched that suggest you are motivated to take action… so welcome aboard!
As you sit there… motivated to make a change… I’m here to tell you that this emotional leverage you have will soon fade.
Emotions aren’t “set in stone”… the immediate pain from your breakup is temporary… so eventually the fire you have inside will soon dim.
Which is why you need to take advantage of it before it’s gone… and use it to change your life forever.
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How to Take Advantage of Emotional Leverage Before it’s Gone: Re-Invest it to Build Life-Changing Habits
Once you get hit with emotional leverage, you want to trap the lightning in a bottle so that it keeps serving you.
You want to combine this motivational energy with willpower to build habits that serve your goals and purpose.
Whether your purpose is to get better with women, build your business, or acquire new skills…
…you must repeat, practice, and hone the specific actions that build the skills you need to reach your goal (“Repetition is the Mother of Skill”).
Repeated Focused Action-Taking Over 30 Days Creates a Habit.
Eben Pagan taught me that habits work a lot like the space shuttle.
80% of the weight of the entire apparatus is the rocket that launches it… but the space shuttle itself is only 20% of the weight.
The purpose of the rocket is to get the shuttle going fast enough so that it reaches escape velocity. The vast majority of all the energy is used only in the first two minutes of flight.
Habits work the same way.
Your new habit routine is the space shuttle, and this 30-day period is the rocket booster that pushes your habit towards “escape velocity”… before the habit gets ingrained in your mind.
Once you start a new habit, it will be easy for the first week or so, because you will be eager and motivated to start. You’re feeling optimistic and it’s fun.
However, that initial optimism will soon fade and you will hit resistance. This is what Eben Pagan calls “habit gravity”.
Once habit gravity sets in, the habit routine takes more effort to maintain and you will start feeling out of your comfort zone.
Here you will fight it and likely succeed because you still have some of that initial momentum.
But then you will experience extreme “active resistance” and it’ll get really hard.
This is where courage comes in.
Your body will resist taking action and your mind will come up with excuses to procrastinate… but you will grit your teeth and take action anyways.
This is you “doing courage”… and it is a rite of passage.
You do courage when you feel resistance, fear, or anxiety… yet you still take action anyways.
You can’t do courage when you feel confident and face no resistance. It’s impossible. For courage to exist, there must be resistance.
So let’s say you’re sticking to the plan and taking action in the face of resistance.
You will eventually reach “escape velocity”… where resistance starts fading away.
This is the light at the end of the tunnel.
The specific action starts to become automatic as it forms a neural pathway in between your ears.
The habit routine becomes ingrained in your mind, and you don’t need as much courage or willpower anymore.
Which means you can now free up willpower energy to work on other tasks… such as building a new habit!
That’s the rite of passage right there, if you’re able to do it.
Focused Action and Willpower
Now I did mention you must take “focused action” over a period of time, so let’s focus on the word “focus”. We will also focus on what “willpower” means, exactly.
Did you know that willpower is like a muscle?
Researchers have learned willpower is a muscle that gets fatigued from overuse.
Numerous studies have demonstrated that “willpower depletion” can happen in a similar way that your muscles tire out.
When willpower depletes, you get what’s called “decision fatigue”. Meaning, your mind gets tired from making decisions and it needs rest.
So willpower is limited… which is why you want to use your limited willpower in the most efficient and productive way possible: By investing your limited willpower into creating habits that change your life.
Since willpower is your decision-making muscle…
You will be tempted to think of other ideas and other potential habits to master.
Your brain will get overwhelmed by these other possible decisions… and other paths to take.
These other paths will try to steal your attention and your decision-making energy (willpower).
That’s why to build a habit, you must focus…
Otherwise, your focus will drift everywhere and you’ll waste your limited willpower making decisions about irrelevant things.
You must use your willpower wisely and FOCUS IT on the habit you want to build.
The path to success is massive focused action over a period of time.
Without focused action, your brain goes all over the place. Your energy is spread and diffused, separated into various things. You feel like you’re putting in a lot of work, while getting nothing done.
Focus is the magnifying glass that concentrates all your energy on the important task at hand. The task you decide you will focus on and turn into a habit.
To Focus on Building a Habit, You Must Say “No”
Let’s say you’ve decided on the action steps that are on your path to your purpose.
Now imagine you find this other thing you want to do, that you really really want to do…
But you say “no” to it.
You won’t do it… because you’ve decided you’re going to focus on your one path, that means you’re saying “no” to many great paths that aren’t *that one* path that is your purpose.
Ever felt like you’ve learned so much on youtube… and now you know so much about everything… yet your career or the money you make doesn’t reflect that knowledge?
Do you feel that every day you learn more and more, yet you accomplish less and less?
That’s due to the inability to focus on just ONE thing at a time.
Do you find yourself having multiple ideas on how to make money yet unable to capitalize on any of them? Do you feel inundated with all the information from all the “pickup gurus” that roam the internet?
Maybe you’re going all over the place trying too many things at once… unable to MASTER any one of them. The jack of all trades will become a master once he harnesses the ability to focus.
Now I know you’re a smart guy since you’ve read this far… Imagine if you could harness your brainpower and focus it on one thing… Imagine if you could just focus on one strategy to implement… or on just one business plan to execute? How will your life be like?
That’s why focus is the #1 mental currency.
Read Next: Use Motivation, Willpower, and Courage to Break Through Barriers and Smash Your Goals
