Approaching forms the basic building block of success with women. It is your most important tool to sharpen your skill of attracting women and eventually finding an awesome girlfriend.
And here’s why:
When you have the ability to bust out several approaches per day, you rack up the number of “reference experiences” you go through.
This means you put in more attempts, you get more feedback, you go through the failures quicker… and then you get to SUCCESS much faster.
However…
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You Will Feel Resistance to Approach
You will get an intense approach anxiety.
This isn’t news, right?
It’s something that messes with our brains and stops us from doing the approach.
This is where willpower comes in.
In particular, it’s important to exercise your willpower to build an “approach ethic”, by utilizing the following principle of psychology…
Action Triggers Motivation
When you first go out, your mood is filled with approach anxiety. You feel a strong resistance to be social.
But when you are STILL able to take action despite of the discomfort, fear, or
resistance you feel, the taking of action changes your mood and diminishes your
resistance.
For example:
You feel like not going out one night, until your friends pressure you to join them, and you reluctantly agree. But then what happens? You start feeling good… and now you are motivated to stay out.
Your state of mind got shifted by taking the action of going out… even though you weren’t motivated to go out at the beginning of the night!
This is why you need to focus on the action. Because taking action changes your mood. It makes you motivated. We often think motivation makes us take action, but in reality, taking action makes you motivated. Motion Creates Emotion.
The secret of success is to…
Find Ways to Take Action in Spite of The Resistance
Look, taking action when you’re motivated is easy. Anyone can do it. But taking action when you’re not motivated, makes you motivated! Brainwash yourself to do this, and notice the results you start to get.
Right now, you probably know of something you SHOULD be doing in your life… that you feel resistance to do.
So you don’t do it. You procrastinate. You find ways to come up with an excuse.
I can relate… our brains are Nobel-Prize-winning experts at finding ways to rationalize NOT doing something we feel a strong resistance to do.
But here’s what’s crazy:
If you can find ways to take action in spite of the resistance… it takes you on a path to massive success.
That’s because the magic happens when you step *OUTSIDE* of your comfort zone.
Now let’s bring this back to your night of approaching women.
A Very Interesting Phenomenon Occurs When You Get in “Flow” Approaching Women
You’re out at the club, ready to start your night.
You get in, ready to approach your first girl.
You hesitate, and instantly feel this fear inside you.
This is where courage comes in.
See, these first approaches require courage, because you’re taking action in the face of resistance. Courage can only happen when there’s resistance to action. Remember that.
Now the best part is that after each act of courage you get confidence in return.
This means that, once you get into the habit of “doing courage”, you start a journey of becoming more confident with women… and it all starts with cold approach pickup and courage.
When you’re out meeting women, your first 5 approaches will be the hardest. But after that, it gets easy.
Here’s why:
Your brain has something called the “RAS”(Reticular Activating System)… and it has a lot to do with where your ATTENTION gets focused.
The interesting part is that, by taking action, you can train your RAS to focus on different things.
For example…
On your first couple approaches, your RAS is afraid of approaching. It comes up with reasons NOT to approach.
It gives you fear because, during cavemen days, approaching women meant the alpha male of the tribe would beat the shit out of you for talking to “his girls”. So your brain gets focused on keeping you safe by not approaching.
However, once you do your first approach, you give *proof* to your brain that you aren’t going to get beat up if you go for the approach.
So your brain realizes everything is “OK”… it survived… and so part of your approach anxiety fear goes away.
Then you do your second approach, and even more of your fear vanishes and turns into confidence.
Do Several Approaches, and You’ll Get Your RAS Focus to SWITCH
Instead of finding excuses not to approach because of fear, you find yourself coming up with excuses to approach.
Now whenever a girl walks by you… it will be hard NOT to approach.
You will become an APPROACH MACHINE.
Because you have that momentum going for you.
Now here’s the thing:
You either have ACTION-TAKING momentum… or EXCUSE making momentum.
Which one will you have?
When you focus on action-taking… you become “present to the moment” and get out of your head.
It’s called “Taking so much action that you shut off the thinking mind”
When you’re in your head, your mind is thinking too much and stressing about the past or the future.
You’re not present.
But when you’re in the moment and out of your head, you stop worrying about stuff like how your ex girlfriend dumped you and how you miss her.
You can’t have those thoughts when you’re present in the moment.
Instead, you go into your body, you love the moment, and you flow.
That’s how you get success approaching girls.
Next: Learn RSD Tyler’s 6 steps for a successful night picking up girls