How to Use Emotional Leverage to Bounce Back From a Breakup

The Inciting Incident…

When you experience a breakup, the world as you know it has changed.

Your timeline has been split, and your relationship is no more.

Future plans you had with your girlfriend become erased like Marty Mcfly’s photos.

This trigger moment of your breakup is an “inciting incident”…a critical point in time that creates a fork in your path of life… and it motivates you to start a new journey to get better with women and life in general. It motivates you by giving you “emotional leverage”.

Imagine yourself one year from now… will you be still be stuck in the same place… or will this experience change your life forever… and for the better?

It’s paramount that you align your thinking right during this tumultuous time… because most people end up in mediocrity.

How do you come back from this? Keep reading to learn how to bounce back from your breakup.

Now the good news is that your pain and hurt gives you an advantage… in the form of “emotional leverage”.

Take Advantage of Emotional Leverage to Cultivate Positive Habits

Strong emotions are your friend. 

A state of strong emotions gives you the highest leverage to make a change. 

Tony Robbins calls it emotional leverage… and it’s something you should take advantage of to take action, learn new skills, and upgrade yourself as a man.

Many of the greatest achievements in history came from a source of strong emotional leverage.

The reason is that a state of intense pain and discomfort is the best motivator out there. It gives you no choice other than to get moving and take action.

Who knows, maybe this kick in the butt from the universe is exactly what you need to evolve.

After all, evolution can only happen outside of your comfort zone.

Which is why you should welcome this experience as a *GIFT*… in spite of how painful it may be.

Unfortunately, most people get apathetic and complacent with mediocrity. They never live their dreams… and they never get their dream woman.

They resort to living in hope, thinking “I’ll be happy when…” or “I’ll take action when…”

So when you are in a painful situation like you are right now, I encourage you to take advantage of this motivation and grab the bull by the horns before it’s too late.

Look, if you recover from this breakup, and you haven’t improved yourself, it’ll be far too easy to fall back into complacency.

The emotional leverage will be gone, and your dreams and ambitions will suffer a set back from “action taking” to “living in hope” yet again.

Taking action is your path forward… and it gets much harder to get motivated once the strong emotions fade.

What if You’re Not Motivated Enough? (Hint: Use Courage)

We’ve established that when you’re motivated, it’s easy to take action.

For you right now, “Emotion Creates Motion”. 

You have strong enough pain emotions that motivate you to take action.

But when you’re not motivated, you feel resistance towards any action that lies outside your comfort zone.

And let me repeat to you, my friend, that evolution lies outside your comfort zone… that’s where the magic happens.

So then what’s the trick to taking action outside of your comfort zone and evolving? 

When you’re emotional, it’s easy… but when you’re not motivated, you instead must get in motion first, and THEN you’ll create emotion.

In this case… “Motion Creates Emotion” (Another Tony Robbins quote)

You Must Do Courage to Take Action in the Face of Resistance…

When you have no motivation, feel lazy, are tired, yet you still have that goal you really want in life… what you need to do here is take action, IN SPITE of the resistance you feel.

Then once you are taking action, that puts you in motion, and you get motivation in return.

So if you aren’t motivated to take action, take action first, and motivation will come afterwards.  

See how that works? It sounds backwards… or like a magic trick… maybe it is…

But dig deep and grit your teeth because while in the surface you feel lazy, deep inside you have a burning fire to achieve your goals and live your purpose.

Now this behavior that you do, of forcing yourself to take action in the face of resistance… this is called “doing courage”.

What is Courage?

Courage isn’t something you have… it’s something you DO.

Courage isn’t confidence. Courage isn’t motivation. In fact, courage can’t be done when you already have confidence or motivation. It’s impossible.

You can only do courage when you have fear, anxiety… or any form of resistance.

You must feel some form of resistance to be able to do courage.

Every Day is a Gift That Gives You Opportunities to Do Courage

While courage isn’t something we really have, what we CAN have is a habit of doing courage.

To be successful and reach your goals, you must cultivate a habit of “doing courage” so that you still take action even during the “lazy” days.

Let’s say you’re laying in bed feeling lazy, not wanting to get up to go out and meet new people.

You don’t feel the motivational energy to take action.

What do you do then?

First, accept the fact that you don’t feel the motivation to get up. It’s one of those days that you just don’t “feel it”.

Next, recognize this is a great opportunity to practice doing courage.

Think “Ok I’m going to do courage now”… and get up anyways.

When you do courage, your short-term awareness doesn’t feel motivated… but your long-term vision still feels a burning desire to reach your goals and live your purpose.

That “higher” part of your brain that focuses on purpose, then forces the lazy part of your brain to move along and kicks it in the butt.

Force yourself to do it… and then after you get going in motion, notice how you feel.

It might require a leap of faith to do this, but have trust in the process. Use your faith abilities, or use your tools of religion… whatever you think helps, apply it to this. 

Take Advantage of Motivation Before it Fades

The inciting incident of your breakup gave you energy to take action

It gave you emotion to get in motion.

But soon that energy will fade… so you must take advantage of it! 

You must avoid the common tragedy of the typical man.

See, most men spiral into apathy and get complacent with mediocrity.

They never attain their goals and fail to reach their dreams in life.

They don’t reach fulfillment in their careers, and they spend most of their lives feeling frustrated that they can’t attract the kind of woman that they want.

Are you on a path to the kind of life you want?

If you’re not on a path yet, then you must quickly get started. But hurry. Do it before life passes you by.

Read Next: 3 “Paths” to Taking Action Towards Your Goals