Cold approach pickup can be really chaotic if you don’t have a plan.
Without a clear plan, you flail around aimlessly and don’t get the consistent results you want.
Tyler’s 6 steps provide a clear structure of “what to do” when you go out… so that you train your brain to
- Plow through approach anxiety
- Socially warm up
- Warm up to getting longer sets
- Pump up your state as you go through the night
- …all while avoiding downward spirals when you get rejected (because rejection will always happen)… and instead, training your brain in a specific way to make you unfazed by blow outs, because you know that it’s is all part of the process.
Video: RSD Tyler’s 6 Steps For a Successful Night Picking Up Girls
(UPDATE: RSD Tyler’s popular “6 Steps” YouTube video has been removed, but luckily I got to summarize each of the 6 steps below…)
Table of Contents
Step 1: Approach All
Why? Because your brain will keep coming up with excuses not to approach.
But when you train yourself approach all… you don’t waste energy trying to decide whether a girl is hot enough to approach, or if the person is cool enough to approach. Remember, your goal here is to build up your social muscle.
Similarly with the next step…
Step 2: Minimize Time In-Between Interactions
Look, some people have no trouble socializing. There are a lot of guys that don’t need these little 6 steps. They can be in a nice chill mood…. all relaxed and “in the zone”…
…And once they see that girl they like, like a sniper, they can just walk up and be like “hey what’s up”. And when they do this, they’re going to be completely relaxed, completely social, and badass. And the girl will be attracted.
There are a lot of guys like that. Not me. Like Tyler, I’m not a naturally social guy… and if you’re like that too this step is important to “warm up” socially, and slowly build “social momentum”.
Next…
Step 3: Don’t Judge Yourself
Whenever you interact with women, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of “chasing validation”.
This means you depend on the girl’s reaction of you for positive emotions.
For instance, you go up to a girl, and she’s throwing you signs that she likes you… you feel validated, you feel great!
The more she “validates” you by showing interest, and laughing at your jokes, the more confident you feel. You’re completely in the zone… and everything you
do seems to attract every female within a 20 foot radius.
But then you get BLOWN OUT, you start feeling bad… and your self-image completely deflates.
Now you don’t feel confident anymore, and the next girl you approach feels it. You get blown out again, and you feel worse.
See what I mean? This is how depending on a girl’s reaction of you for good emotions can send you on a downward spiral of rejections.
When you rely on self-image for game, you are not effective, you are incompetent, and you won’t get laid consistently.
Because when your positive emotions rely on the girl perpetually validating you… it’s like walking a tightrope.
What you have to do instead is this: Train yourself to rely on the joy of the ACTION itself.
In other words, let your criteria for feeling good about yourself depend only on the action you do, and not the reaction the girl gives you.
Of course, when you go back home, objectively analyze how you can improve what you do with a girl… don’t be completely blind to her reaction.
However don’t judge your self-image based on the girl’s reaction of you… or on the result you get. Don’t base your positive emotions and self-esteem on whether a girl acts “nice” to you or not.
The crazy thing is that our ego likes to jump in and take credit for all the good results you get, but “getting better with girls” is a SKILLSET that is built by taking action and getting reference experiences.
Step 4: Have Fun! Train Yourself to Find Something Funny in Each Interaction
Lower your standard for fun. Train yourself to laugh at the most retarded shit ever.
Stop being so uptight. If you sit around waiting for world-class humor to allow yourself to laugh… you’re not going to feel happy, and women won’t react positively to you.
The men who do best with women can laugh at the silliest things…things most guys don’t laugh at because they think it’s not funny enough to let go and have fun.
And here’s something very important: The more fun you have, the more of that fun energy you will transfer to that cute girl across from you that you’re talking to. (This is the *law of state transference*)
So take the stick out of your ass and start having fun!
Step 5: Keep it Short and Sweet Early; Burn it to the Ground Late at Night
This one’s really simple.
Let’s say it’s early in the night and you’re not social yet… and you go up to a girl and say “hey I like your jacket”.
If you just stay for a second and then you bounce, then that was a positive social interaction… But if you just linger without saying anything right after that compliment, it can get a little awkward. The reason is that you haven’t socially warmed-up yet.
Now what you do is that later on as the night progresses and you become more social, you can start being more aggressive in your interactions. Be more persistent with your sets, and *Burn it to the ground* so to speak.
HOWEVER: If it’s early and you can tell the girl clearly wants to make out, don’t use the excuse of keeping things short and sweet to avoid taking the risk! It’s ok to go for it!
But in general, keep it short and sweet initially.
Step 6: Add a Little More to Each Interaction
The last one is, add a little more to each interaction.
This means to make your interactions longer on average as you start to “warm up”. So the first interaction might be a compliment and you bounce in 5 seconds… but then your second interaction you progress to 15 seconds… then 30 seconds… then a minute… two minutes… and so on. Ease in and enjoy the process.
Summary
1. Open all. Open on sight. As soon as anyone comes into your line of sight, open them.
2. Minimize time in between interactions to allow your brain to become social
3. Don’t judge yourself
Don’t get addicted to the “female validation” drug. If you get blown out, know that it has nothing to do with YOU… enjoy the process and know you’re just building up your process for the night. It’s all good.
4. Have fun: Find something funny in every interaction. Dude, game is supposed to be fun! Lower your standards for what is required to have fun, enjoy the moment, and give yourself permission to have fun.
5. Keep it short and sweet early, burn it to the ground late
6. Keep building on each interaction… And then when you start seeing options, make sure you pull.
And that is all. Those are RSD Tyler’s 6 steps for a consistent, successful night of picking up girls. I hope you had at least one major epiphany today. Good luck in your pickup… and make it happen!