So you’re having a casual “fling” with a girl.
You enjoy each other’s company, you’re hooking up, and you feel you really click with her…
…but you want to know how to take things to the next level.
You want to turn your casual hookup into your exclusive girlfriend.
If this sounds like you, keep reading.
Here’s why…
In this article you’ll learn
- The biggest mistake to avoid when turning your casual hookup into your girlfriend
- The most effective way to turn your fling into your girlfriend and…
- how to make it HER IDEA to get together
Now let’s go over an email sent by my student Chuck.
***Question #1***
Turning Your Casual Hookup Into Your Girlfriend?
Hey Frankie,
I was wondering if you could help me with something.
I recently I hooked up with a girl and it was really easy.
She asked me for my number and I’m pretty good at getting through the “hookup” stage but I want a steady relationship,
Without being pushy, how can I get out of the vibing fling section?
– Chuck
>>>My Comments
Hey Chuck,
Seems like you want to take things from “hook up” to “relationship”.
You want to take that next step… but you’re running into trouble doing it.
If you want to make a girl want a relationship, the key is to not rush it,
and to NOT try to convince her to “get together” officially.
Instead, you actually just want to keep doing the hook up thing.
Also, beware of texting her too much. It’s better to let her initiate.
I understand that if you really want this girl as your girlfriend, you might be texting her often in order to try to make that happen.
But what you want to do is wait for her to come to you and contact you first.
Then when she does, schedule another “get-together”, and only aim to have fun and hook up.
Don’t ask her about her feelings or the “relationship label”…
Don’t bring up topics about “us” and what it all means…
Because once she feels that you already want to be her boyfriend, and she isn’t ready because it’s too soon…
That’s when she’ll lose feelings and fade away.
Instead, here’s the effective path to turning your casual hookup into your girlfriend
Now let’s go over another email I got from a reader.
***Question #2***
So I’ve been on and off again with my ex girlfriend.
Yesterday I got her back and we hit it off but you can tell that she’s torn between me and her freeness so I kinda gave her an ultimatum and she got mad and stopped texting me.
>>>My Reply
An ultimatum would make her do that.
Take it easy, don’t rush into things.
Be casual, playful, and don’t pressure her into commitment or bring up relationship labels. That only pushes her away.
Only focus on having fun and hooking up.
>>>His Reply
I really miss her and I just wish this relationship unfolds because I want to be in love and give out love as well…
Is there anything I can do besides waiting??
>>>My Reply
Right now create space and let her come to you.
The impulse to always want to send her stuff could lead to overwhelming her with texts.
“Doing more” isn’t the key, but “doing less”.
Let her initiate and seek your attention.
It’s actually better that she does stuff for you than you for her (that’s how she falls in love)
>>>His Reply
My ex is confusing as hell… and she won’t give me a straight answer about what she thinks.
We still hook up and have sex, but aren’t “officially” together, and she tends to go distant.
I notice she is talking to other people, so hopefully it isn’t another guy
that makes her go distant on me.
And most importantly I hope we stop this back-and-forth soon because I am really REALLY trying to move forward and make new memories.
>>>My Reply
“she won’t give me a straight answer or suggestions”
You shouldn’t be asking her questions regarding the “status” of your “relationship” or if you’re back together or not.
This kills the moment and her attraction.
Remember, only focus on fun and hooking up, without worrying about the “relationship label”.
“I am really REALLY trying to move forward and make new memories”.
That’s the problem right there. It’s the thing that’s stopping it from ever happening. You are too much in a rush to make the “relationship” an official thing and you want to get on with your love story… without allowing her attraction to catch up.
Take it slow, don’t be in a rush to make her your soul mate, and only focus on having fun and hooking up.
Table of Contents
3 Keys to Turning a Fling into Your Girlfriend
Here are 3 keys to attracting your fling so much that she wants to become your girlfriend.
1. Don’t Rush the Romantic Fantasy
You’re in a rush to create this romantic fantasy that you have, but it will push her away.
Be cool with just hooking up… being present… having a good time… all without attachment to what it all means and whether you two are an official “thing”.
If you’re able to do that, her attraction will rise over time, and she will be the one asking “so what are we?” (More: How to Make Her Your Girlfriend – From Fling to Serious Thing)
2. Make Dates Only Once a Week
When you really start falling for a girl, she is all you can think about and you find yourself always wanting to text her.
However, it is critical to not overwhelm her at this phase, or it will cause her to go distant.
That’s why I suggest to make a date only once a week.
Once you do, have fun and hook up… but then create space in between meets to keep the mystery.
3. Remain Anchored to Your Purpose in Life
Guys want to secure what they have. When guys get something good going with a new special lady, in an attempt to secure what they have, they overtext the girl and try to “do more”.
So they text the girl every single day. They want to be lovey dovey with her 24/7… but then she begins to feel smothered.
However, if you have a purpose, an anchor in life, you will naturally create space. You will naturally be busy with the passion or career that is your purpose, or you’ll have a life where you go out and hang out with other buddies.
And no, the woman shouldn’t be your purpose.
Once you make one particular woman your purpose in life, you’re toast. Once she finds out that she is all you have, that’s when she loses attraction.
Instead, the girl wants you to already have a purpose. She wants you to have passions, dreams, and goals that you’re chasing,
And then she wants to join you along for the ride.
Your purpose is part of your masculine core.
The second you need her too much, and you value her more than your purpose, she senses that you have lost your masculine core and she fades away.
Follow these guidelines to turn your casual hookup into a girlfriend.
If you keep feeling confused and frustrated… your neediness and fear will send the girl running away.
Or… you can learn a sneaky technique you can use to get a “hard to get” girl.
