Motivation of your long-term goals and purpose drive you forward.
What is it that you want to accomplish?
You will need motivation, willpower, and courage to get you through your journey.
Table of Contents
Motivation
What is motivation, exactly?
Motivation is your reason for doing things. It’s a combination of emotions and reasoning that pushes your mind to want a goal.
This is what they call your “why” for doing things. Whenever teachers and gurus say “find your why”, it just means to think about what motivates you and find ways to focus on it more so that you get motivated more.
A crisis such as a rejection or breakup hits you with a large dose of motivation that triggers you to make a change — a change to get better with women and avoid heartbreak in the future.
This extreme dose of motivation is called “emotional leverage”. Emotional leverage is the universe giving you a much-needed kick in the butt that allows you to bounce back from a breakup and recover.
Motivation is one element that helps you reach your ultimate desired outcome… but you also need willpower.
Willpower
Motivation helps with willpower…
Because willpower = motivation + action.
But it makes only one part of willpower, so motivation alone isn’t enough to be successful.
Some people are highly motivated but can’t get themselves to take action. They tend to procrastinate and fall into excuse-making loops… NEVER finding a way to reach their goals.
To live your dream, the bottom line is that you need to get yourself to take action… (and here are 3 ways to do it).
What is Willpower?
Willpower is the decision-making muscle to act.
When you’re inside your comfort zone, you have ingrained habits on how you act and “decide” on things. These habits run on autopilot so you don’t require much willpower.
Once you step outside your comfort zone, you encounter new things to process and decide on. This can use up a lot of willpower.
When all these new decisions overwhelm you, your willpower muscle gets overworked and fatigued…
…which makes you want to avoid new decisions by retreating back into your comfort zone.
Here you seek to go back to familiar territory so you can fall back on old habits and give your brain decision-making rest.
Does this sound familiar? Of course it does… this is the resistance we all face when learning a new skill or building a new habit.
[Resistance to learning a new habit = Falling into old habits when your willpower fatigues] (image)The solution is to focus your limited willpower on building the new habit so that you don’t require willpower for those tasks anymore. Read more: How to Invest Your Willpower into Building Habits That Change Your Life
When you aren’t unable to focus, by “saying no” and setting boundaries, your willpower gets wasted on less important tasks and you won’t have enough to dedicate to building important habits.
Once your willpower depletes, resistance pushes you back towards old habits. Excuses come up, and procrastination leads you away from success.
But when you are able to focus enough of your willpower on the process of building a habit… you will successfully overcome resistance and build a habit that becomes automatic with no additional willpower needed.
Use Willpower to Design Your Life For More Women
When it comes to willpower, studies have shown it is limited.
It is highest when we wake up, and decays as the day progresses.
Willpower depletion leads to retreating to your comfort zone… where you avoid any new major decisions…
And that’s why you should focus your willpower on building habits that, when ingrained, you won’t need willpower anymore.
We will now apply this concept to meeting new women and practicing the strategies that attract them.
Going Through The Motions…
Think about the logistics required to go out and meet women…
You get out of bed, you shower, get dressed, walk outside, get in your car, drive to the venue, park, step outside, walk around, notice people, approach girls, talk to girls.
Think about these motions. Each makes up an “action step” that leads to the action you want to practice: The action of being in an interaction with a woman.
You want to make these steps a habit, so you give your brain less decisions to waste willpower on… and less reasons to come up with excuses to procrastinate.
Once you have less stuff to think about, you can focus more on interactions with women.
Easier said than done, right? That’s because we haven’t talked about the fear that paralyzes your body from taking action.
Throughout your journey, not only will you require willpower to make decisions and act.. but you will face FEAR that stops you from moving forward.
And here’s were courage comes in.
Courage
Courage is similar to willpower in that involves forcing yourself to take action.
While willpower is your decision-making muscle… courage is the “muscle” you use to take action in the presence of FEAR.
Doing courage isn’t the same as having confidence.
If you have confidence and feel no fear… it’s IMPOSSIBLE to do courage.
You can only do courage when you feel fear…
Because courage is when you’re feeling the fear, but taking action anyways.
“Feel the fear and do it anyways.”
Making the initial approach to talk to a woman notoriously contains a moderate level of fear… especially if you’ve been out of the “game” for a while.
Not only will you feel anxiety when reflecting on that action you have to eventually make… but the fear trickles down to other actions that lead to the approach… such as getting dressed and leaving the house. This makes you doubt your decision to go out at every step you take.
The course of action here is to “do courage” and keep moving forward in spite of that fear.
You feel the fear of social interaction… but you go through the motions and do it anyways.
That’s the act of “doing courage”
Now the best part is that, after you do courage, you get back confidence in return
This happens because you prove to your mind that the action doesn’t kill you. You are still alive.
Do courage enough times on a certain action, and you’ll gain enough confidence that it decreases the fear surrounding it.
This confidence spreads through other areas of your life and gives you “action-taking momentum”.
“Action leads to more action… excuses lead to more excuses… both have their own momentum” – Owen Cook
Fear is Your Guide to Freedom
Make courage a habit, and you’ll see similar improvements in other areas were fear is a barrier.
That’s why when it comes to life, fear is what you need to look out for because…
Fear Gives You Courage-Doing Opportunities
Fear is where the gold is at. Whenever you notice yourself feeling anxious and making excuses to procrastinate… say “ok I feel the fear creeping in, time to do courage”, and break through that barrier.
Become aware of fear, recognize courage-doing opportunities, do courage, and break through barriers.
Make it happen!
Frankie
P.S. If you’re fearful when standing next to a cliff, that’s a good fear to have! You want that fear! In this article I’m not talking about rational justified fears, I’m talking about irrational fears that put the brakes on your love life and dream goals.
