Your girlfriend keeps flaking on you and you are tired of it.
You feel frustrated that you’re unable to see her.
It has been weeks now.
You keep making plans to hang out, but she keeps cancelling last second.
She always has an excuse… and while the reason she gives you seems legit… you feel something is seriously wrong.
Is she losing attraction for you… or is she just busy? Is there another man involved?
What can you do?
Read on to learn what to do when your girlfriend keeps flaking on you.
Let’s start with a question from our good friend Peter, who also suffers from a flaky girlfriend.
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Question: Girlfriend Keeps Flaking on Me, What Can I Do?
Hey Frankie,
I’m frustrated because my girlfriend keeps flaking on me.
She seems eager to text me every day… she even initiates texting… but when I bring up getting together, she always has an excuse.
I have not seen her for 21 days now.
We talk and text all the time, and she still says she loves me.
Now the other day I made a shelf for her bathroom… and I was supposed to go over her place to put up the shelf, hang out, and stay the night.
Yesterday she called me at 11:30am and I said how about I come over tonight, put up the shelf, hang out, and sleep over… and she said yes for sure that would be great.
But then 4:30 rolls around and she cancels on me… saying that she is going to the drive-in movie with her daughter and her friend instead.
This is annoying because she ditched me again.
The funny thing is she gave me shit a long time ago for ditching her one time. She did not like it at all and said that she hates people who make plans but then break them.
However she is doing that very same thing to me… and we are supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend…
Like she was totally falling for me again but now it seems like she is getting distant again.
However she calls me everyday and texts me everyday I never initiate it.
I don’t know man, I’m really confused…
– Peter
My Reply: Look at Her Behavior, Not Her Words
Look at it this way: A woman’s behavior is much more important than what she says.
So if your girlfriend says “I miss you” and “I love you” — but she keeps cancelling plans, her BEHAVIOR isn’t consistent with her missing you!
That’s why you gotta take what she says with a grain of salt… but look at her behavior to determine how she REALLY feels.
Now it looks like your interaction with her is generally kinda wishy-washy and plans never materialize.
The way I see it is you’re making shelves for her bathroom, doing favors for her, inviting her to meet, but she is cancelling plans with you and showing lack of interest.
And when you do a lot of favors for a girl, but she isn’t also reciprocating and treating you like you’re first-class… then something is wrong.
You’re treating her special, she should also treat you special. If she doesn’t, and you let it slip… (because you subconsciously feel that she is more important than you)… then respect gets lost on her side… and so does attraction.
That’s why it’s important to set boundaries, and to stand up for yourself.
Related Article: “Ex Girlfriend Stringing Me Along!”
Example 1: Stand Up For Yourself When She Flakes and Wastes Your Time
When she cancels plans, or does something that wastes your time, let her know you don’t appreciate that. Because when you make plans to see her, and she cancels a few hours before, that time gets wasted.
You could have made plans to do something else, and now you can’t, because you thought you were going to see her, and she cancelled too late.
If you don’t set a boundary when your girlfriend keeps flaking on you, she will sense that weakness and lose attraction.
Related: When a Girl Flakes on You – Dealing With Flaky Behavior Like a Man of Value
Example 2: Be More Direct When Making Plans to Meet
Let’s say you invite her to get together, but she is busy, or gives you a reason why she can’t.
Then you say “Ok when are you free to get together?”
And she gives you a day she is free.
Then you say “Great, let’s get together (at this location, at that day, at this time) and we’ll do X activity”. Ideally, invite her over to make dinner together at your place.
But what if she has no days free and gives excuses to why she can’t meet?
Then you gotta be direct and say “Ok, reach out when you figure your schedule out and you’re free to meet” — and don’t contact her anymore until she contacts you.
Then when she contacts you, assume she has figured out a day she is free to meet.
If she isn’t, you gotta make it clear you don’t have time to play games over text because you actually want to have a physical face-to-face relationship… not a texting buddy relationship.
See, when your girlfriend keeps flaking on you, it’s a sign that she feels she can walk all over you. You MUST set a boundary when that happens or she will lose all respect for you…
And a woman who doesn’t respect you, can’t love you. It’s IMPOSSIBLE.
The general dating behavior to follow is this:
Set dates, but don’t text so much in between dates. Use your phone primarily to set dates. However, you right now are texting too much, but with no dates at all.
In Summary:
If your girlfriend keeps cancelling plans, it shows her respect and attraction is low and you need to start setting boundaries in order to gain her respect back.
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