Girl Goes Cold…
My mailbox is once again overflowing with questions… and a common one is “why is she acting distant all of a sudden?”
It is deeply worrying when a girl you deeply care about starts going distant on you.
Deep down in your stomach, you just know something is WRONG…
If you don’t know what to do, you’ll likely make a serious mistake and blow it…
But if you know exactly what to do, you can reverse your situation and get your girl attracted to you like never before.
How do you do this?
How do you deal with a woman who’s “fading away”?
Why is she acting distant all of a sudden?
In particular, there are 3 deadly “traps” men get into when a girl suddenly becomes distant.
I will soon reveal these traps in this article.
But first, let’s go over a question sent by our good friend Ernie.
Table of Contents
Question: Why is She Acting Weird All of a Sudden?
Hi Frankie!
I have a girl and I dont really know what my next action will be.
I need your opinion on this situation:
We have had several dates and fun-times together but never had sex.
I can tell she likes my company when we are together, and we have kissed several times.
Now in the past she has been eager to meet me when I arranged a date…
But 3 weeks ago, it all changed…
And this is why I’m confused… in the past three weeks she has been acting distant all of a sudden.
She hasn’t texted me first and I’ve been the one always sending the first text.
Yesterday I wanted to see her and she told me she wasn’t sure if we could hang out.
So she’s acting kinda flaky.
What do I do if she’s gone distant?
Thanks
My Reply: Mistakes Made Her Lose Attraction and Act Distant
Hey man, seems like she went a bit cold.
You should have been setting up opportunities for sex.
Like inviting her over your place… and setting up a situation where you two are alone and the logistics are ripe for sex.
See, a woman will get bored when you’ve been going out for a long time and sex hasn’t happened.
She’ll rationalize that it’s “not be meant to be”… otherwise sex would have happened already.
So you must at least attempt to make it happen.
That’s my date/logistics answer. Now onward to my texting and communication answer.
Let’s talk about your strategy with her through text.
If she isn’t eager to hang out with you and doesn’t text you first, take a step back and wait for her to reach out.
Don’t fall for any of the 3 traps I will soon reveal.
Instead go no contact until she texts you first.
This will accomplish a number of things.
First, women often need space to sort their feelings out. And if you crowd her space by chasing when she becomes distant, she becomes less attracted to you, because she feels you need her validation.
Instead, when she backs away, stand like a rock and let her come back to you.
When a girl starts acting distant all of a sudden, most men will chase chase chase.
But that’s a BIG MISTAKE.
Instead, go about your life, and don’t chase.
What this does is that the space between you two becomes larger, she notices you are less available…
And much like stretching a rubber band makes it want to “snap back” together… she will want to come back to you.
Go no contact as long as it takes… until she reaches out.
Then once she reaches out…
1. assume she misses you and wants to see you and…
2. make a date.
Related Article: When Your Girlfriend Keeps Flaking on You
Why a Girl Goes Distant All of a Sudden
When women spend time with you, their attraction either grows, or it shrinks.
There may be a moment in time when a girl abruptly stops communicating with you like she did before.
Maybe she texts you less, comes up with excuses for why she can’t meet you, doesn’t send you “emojis” like before… or she doesn’t use the same “lovey dovey” language she sent last week…
When any of these happen to you, it makes you wonder “why is she acting distant all of a sudden?”
And it makes you nervous.
Why has she gotten distant?
There are several possibilities.
The truth is… girls have lots of ups and downs emotionally, and sometimes they need space to sort their emotions out.
Other times girls get naturally busy with school or work and so they just can’t text you all the time.
Or maybe something you’re doing is actually making her lose attraction.
Either way, it is critical that you don’t chase!
It may feel like giving her space will make her forget about you, because you feel you are “letting her go”… but trust me on this one
While you surely are getting the urge to chase her and “get her back”… because you crave certainty that she’s all yours…
Smothering and clingy behavior will only aggravate the problem.
The original problem is she seeks space to sort her emotions out… so your “solution” of crowding her space would lead to a serious loss of attraction that makes her want to get away from you even more.
When a Girl Goes Distant, Don’t Fall For These 3 Traps
Here are some things you might be tempted to do… why you shouldn’t do them… and what to do instead.
1. The “Do Something” Trap
Right now it’s easy to get into the trap that you have to “do something” to get her attention back.
Instead, if she’s going cold, you’ve got to give her space.
If you attempt to create opportunities to hang out (like inviting her over your place), and she doesn’t want to, then tell her to let you know if she changes her mind and then walk away.
That means no more contact from then on unless she reaches out.
2. The Agreeing to Be “Just Friends” Trap
Don’t fall for the trap of being just friends and then trying to “sneak in”.
The best course of action if she says let’s just be friends is to say you’re not
interested in being just friends, or anything platonic, and to reach out if she
changes her mind. That is the strong negotiating position.
3. The Locking Her Down as Your Girlfriend Trap
Another common situation is when a guy is seeing a girl in a budding relationship that’s not quite “official” yet… and she starts to lose interest.
What happens here is that when we as guys sense that a girl is fading away, we suddenly get the urge to “lock her down” into an “official” relationship. We mistakenly think that taking the romance to the next level is what she is missing…
…So you try some extravagant move like getting her flowers, or asking her to be your girlfriend.
Unfortunately, the problem isn’t that you weren’t romantic enough, the problem is that your behavior caused her to lose attraction for you… and you didn’t properly give her space to “reset” the situation and allow her to regain attraction for you.
Maybe you texted her too much, maybe you got too needy, maybe you got too romantic, maybe you were hesitant, afraid to go for sex, and tip-toeing around it.
But right now, trying to make it a “relationship” isn’t the way to go and it will push her away even more.
For a girl to want to be your girlfriend, she falls in love slowly over time… and then when her attraction is high enough SHE is the one who brings up feelings and relationship labels.
Let the girl be the one who brings that up!
On the other side, the job of you as a man is to set up fun-filled dates that can lead to sex. (That’s why making the date at YOUR place is the way to go).
“Girl Says She Likes Me But is Distant”
If a girl likes you but still acts distant, then you’re likely missing 1 key element that would make her fall in love with you completely.
Which is… creating space for her to chase you.
Pull out your phone and look at your text conversations with her.
Who’s doing more of the initiating? How long are your texts compared to hers?
If it’s obvious you are investing way more than her.
Slowly pull back and let her initiate more.
When you create space for her to chase, that’s what gets her eager to see you more.
When a girl likes you but is on the fence, most men think they need to “do more” to win her over completely…
But in reality you need to “do less”.
How to Attract a Distant Female Friend
When a girl says she wants to be “just friends”… it’s one of the most depressing phrases you’ll ever hear a girl say.
This video reveals 5 Romantic Mistakes that makes a girl say that sentence.
Already made those mistakes?
The good news is that you can get her back by using a sneaky little mind game called The Scrambler
![How to Deal With Competition For a Girl You Like [3 Steps]](https://championsofmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/competition-for-a-girl-you-like-1000x600.jpg)