Wife wants divorce…
Your wife wants nothing to do with you, and now she wants divorce.
Add to it the fact that she’s seeing an older man.
Leaving you in pain, and completely shut down.
What can you do?
Our good friend Fred was in this same situation, and he wrote me about it.
If your wife wants divorce and you’re unsure of what to do… read on.
***Question***
My Wife Wants Divorce and is Seeing an Older Married Man
Hello Frankie,
My wife broke broke up with me 6 months ago. She came to see me 3 or 4 times after the break up.
Then she totally shut me down.
I got to know that she is seeing an older man.
He is 20 years older than her and he’s married.
All she communicated with me since then is to give her the divorce.
She has blocked me from all social media and even changed her number.
The only access I have to her is email. She doesn’t reply to that either… although I dont write anything related to our relationship there.
Just yesterday I asked her about some tricky questions that I needed to fill up for a new job application, which she always helped me out with.
So, I thought that this kind if helping could be done to anyone randomnly. But she didnt reply anything.
Please help.
– Fred
>>>My Reply
Hey Fred,
After she broke up with you, you should have cut all contact to create space
for her to come back.
Instead, it appears you tried contacting her using various mediums. This probably annoyed her and it’s why she blocked you.
Pursuing and pursuing doesn’t change a woman’s mind — it only pushes her further away.
So if you haven’t already, start the “no contact” RIGHT NOW.
The best chance you’ve got to get her back in the future is to move on right now.
Yes, even give her the divorce if she wants.
Now I know this sounds like you’re letting her go…
But here’s the thing… nothing is forever.
Just like marriage and her attraction for you wasn’t forever, divorce doesn’t have to be forever if you attract her again in the future. (How to mend the marriage)
Your goal right now should be to make yourself attractive again, in order to
1. Get her attracted again in the future, or
2. Recover and attract other girls incase you don’t get her back
Either way, the path to recovery is the same path that gives you the best chance of getting her back.
His Reply
Hey Frankie,
Thanks for the advice.
But I have a few doubts:
1. I feel that divorce is the end of everything between us.
That’s the last string and hope that I am hanging on to… and I am sure that for her it’s the same.
If I give her the divorce she will be relieved and will know that is the END from both of our sides. Getting back to me after the divorce is a 100% no way.
2. Also I dont understand why is she is seeing an older married man who’s 20 years older than her?
The guy’s wife is also very much broken down that he has dumped her after 25 years of marriage and she can’t do anything about it.
3. If i totally back up now and just get into no contact, I assume having no contact will help her get over me easier.
I will give you an example. If a smoker is smoking for a long time, quitting is difficult during the first few days, but then after a few weeks and months after quitting… you dont have the urge to smoke again.
I feel if she is getting away and I dont contact her at all… then she will totally forget about me and I can see that she is managing very well with the other guy.
I really need them to break up soon. He goes back to his 25 year old marriage… and my wife comes back to our marriage.
I want to do this without dating anyone else. I dont want myself to cheat just like her and become an adulterer and a sinner.
Please advise…
>>>My Reply
Everything here comes down to Attraction, and whether or not she feels it.
It’s why she is with that guy who is 20 years older than her and why she has
been fading away from you.
Attraction is not logical, it’s EMOTIONAL. It’s something that she feels inside.
Therefore, if you hang on to something that is logical, like a piece of paper
that says you are still married, it means nothing if she isn’t emotionally
attracted to you.
Likewise, if in the future you two are divorced, but she feels attraction for you again, the fact that you are divorced won’t stop her from wanting to spend time with you again.
Because if she feels the attraction, that’s what matters!
Now in the past 6 months, you have been constantly pursuing her, how has that been working out?
When you chase and chase, it only pushes her away.
This behavior has been lowering her attraction for you, making her want nothing to do with you, which is why she blocked you.
Related Article: Ex Girlfriend Wants Nothing to do With You
Now to address your analogy:
The smoker who quits, finds it hard to quit because he is still ATTRACTED to the cigarette.
But the thing is that when you keep contacting your wife when she doesn’t want to, it lowers her attraction level and makes it easier for her to completely fall out of love with you.
That’s what actually makes her forget about you!
She becomes REPULSED (not attracted)… because women lose attraction for men who act weak.
Instead, when you act strong, by eliminating all the needy/clingy behavior… that creates space for the woman to wonder about you.
It affects her mind. Maybe she won’t feel respulsed by you anymore since you stopped bugging her by contacting her when she didn’t want to…
And, in the future, this will allow her to think about what you’re up to… and she’ll think about the marriage that she BLEW!
People tend to see past relationships through rose-colored lenses. Things that made them annoyed go away (especially if you stopped acting needy)… and they remember the good times.
Look, maybe there will be trouble in her new relationship with the older guy she’s seeing… and when that happens she’ll start thinking about you again.
It can happen. That guy isn’t perfect. Who knows… she might lose attraction for him if he acts needy like you did.
Related Article: How to Win Your Wife Back From an Affair
But you gotta act strong starting NOW or you’ll have ZERO chance of it happening.
And the strong move here is to go no contact, move on, and demonstrate that you’ve got other things going for you besides her.
Yes, I know you’ll feel that letting her go means she’s lost forever, but trust me on this one.
In her mind, you’ll seem less weak than if do unattractive shit like begging and pleading to get her back.
The important thing is to…
Value and Respect Yourself
Women won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself… and if a woman doesn’t respect you, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for her to love you.
What Would James Bond Do?
Can you picture James Bond wasting his time on a woman who leaves him for another man and treats him like a loser?
Hell no.
Think of the woman you are obsessing over right now, ask yourself “why do I love her so much?”
Does she deserve it… or is it possible you are idealizing her too much?
To make women respect you, treat your time and affection like a *GIFT*… don’t just give it away for free.
When you give away your attention to a girl who treats you badly, this screams out that you don’t value and respect yourself.
Start valuing your life and your time by giving it to those that matter. You want a woman to treat you like a KING, not a disposable garbage can.
There is no guarantee that you’ll ever have her back but this attitude and path of action your best chance.
It’s also the path you take to recover and become more attractive than ever, in case you don’t get her back.
If you’re wife wants divorce and you’re serious about getting her back (and I’m guessing you are, or you wouldn’t be reading this)…
…then I recommend that you check out the Ex Factor program:
Watch the video here and see what I mean
