When your girlfriend suddenly breaks up with you, it feels like a punch to the gut.
You are hurt, in pain, and confused on how to proceed.
If your ex girlfriend means a lot to you and you want to give yourself the best chance of getting her back…
…then watch this video that teaches you little-known techniques to “re-wire” your ex’s feelings and make her want you back:
Free Video: Little-Known Techniques to “Rewire” Your Ex’s Feelings and Make Her Want You Back
Now, whenever you seek breakup advice, people always tell you to “go no contact”. However, you probably feel hesitant to apply this “no contact rule”.
Table of Contents
The No Contact Rule
So you’ve heard of the “no contact rule” and wonder if you should go radio silent with your ex as an attempt to get her back.
This causes doubts to race through your mind:
Is she seeing another guy? Will no contact make her move on? Will your ex forget about you and fade away forever?
Before you send another text, I strongly advise you to start going no contact immediately.
And I’ll explain why…
Irrational Emotions That Lead to Mistakes
Your girlfriend dumped you, and it’s making you feel cold, sick, and shivery.
As you navigate through this cloud of feelings you’re experiencing, you encounter a lot of irrational emotions that put you at risk to make mistakes.
These mistakes make you come across “weak” to your ex girlfriend…
…and they completely TURN HER OFF.
That’s why it’s crucial to go no contact when you break up…
…to avoid impulsively begging your girlfriend, acting like a needy little boy, and, in general, doing desperate behaviors that completely ruin your chances of ever getting her back.
Now I get it, you don’t feel like doing this.
The thought of not contacting her anymore goes against every grain of your body. Your brain instinctively wants to reach out at her to get her back. Whenever you think of “no contact”… you feel in your gut that you’re not doing everything you can to get her back. You just wish there was some bold move you could make to change her mind…
These are the irrational emotions I’m talking about.
And they are intense feelings… but if your girlfriend went cold because she felt smothered by the attention and texts you were sending her… then sending her more texts will aggravate the problem and continue lowering her attraction level.
No contact is the prescription to “reset” her mind and allow her to regain feelings for you.
As you see below, my student Billy had the same experience as you…
***Question***
Going No Contact Goes Against Every Grain in My Body…
Hi Frankie,
Firstly, let me tell you how wise your words are. I’ve bought your book and it’s really great.
My only issue comes with the first step – not reaching out. Not being there for her.
Not contacting or even initiating contact with her… this goes against every grain in my body.
It makes me feel that I’m not doing everything I can to get her back. It makes me feel that she’ll think “oh he obviously doesn’t care about me that much, so he can’t love me”… and she’ll move on.
Girls love attention right? Not giving them that attention feels so alien and wrong. Also, will no contact make her move on and forget about me?
Those are the only issues I have. I don’t believe or have the mentality to ignore my girlfriend. I can’t *not* contact her.
If you could share your wisdom to rationalize this, it would be amazing.
Kind regards,
Billy
>>>My Comments
Hey Billy,
If you’re used to texting this girl every day, going no contact for 2-3 days will feel very alien and weird. You’ll get this urge to reach out, and your brain will rationalize why you must reach out.
The thing is that, if the reason she faded away was because you got clingy and crowded her space, going no contact is very much needed.
She won’t think “oh he isn’t smothering me anymore and texting every day, he must not love me, so I’ll forget about him”.
To better understand this, it’s important to “get” these two laws about female psychology…
Law #1: A Woman Will Pull Away When You Crowd Her Space Too Much
Her female mind sensed the neediness of crowding her space too much and it sensed your weakness. It’s more masculine to be able to walk away for a while and “be ok” without female validation. When you are unable to do this because you constantly text her and need her reassurance, then you are
being more “feminine” and she loses attraction.
So if the prescription to your situation is that you need to give her space, she won’t think “oh, he’s not giving me attention anymore, therefore he doesn’t love me and I’ll move on”.
Instead, giving her space allows her to regain her love for you, if there’s still something there in her mind.
Law #2: Women are Attracted More to Men Whose Feelings are “Unclear”
In your situation, “showing her you care” is a tactic that works against you.
The problem isn’t that you didn’t give her enough attention. It’s that you gave her too much attention.
That’s why trying to make her understand how much you love her won’t increase her attraction for you.
See, a woman’s attraction decreases if she thinks you like her way too much. Especially when her attraction is low.
That’s because a woman is attracted more to a man whose feelings for her are unclear.
So right now, it benefits you if she got less attention from you (especially if you are ALWAYS in contact with her).
Make her LESS CERTAIN of your attraction for her.
Frankie
So will no contact make her move on?
If by “move on”… you mean she’ll lose attraction, then let me tell you that this has happened already!
Will she forget you forever? No, it doesn’t have to be.
There’s no law of human nature that says that if you walk away it makes it impossible for her to get feelings back.
There’s no law that says if her attraction goes to zero, it can’t restart back again.
Only if you keep messaging her and turning her off does this happen.
Attraction can restart even after a long time of no contact.
There’s a reason for this.
And it’s because…
Attraction is not “Set in Stone”
Think of it this way: When she first fell in love with you and became your girlfriend, you probably thought she was going to love you forever. You were both going to ride a white horse into the sunset and live happily ever after. You thought it was all guaranteed.
It wasn’t.
And this is because her attraction wasn’t “set in stone”.
Once you started acting clingy, she slowly started losing that spark of attraction she felt for you…
…until it went to zero.
However, that isn’t “set in stone” either!
Removing the clinginess, by going no contact, can raise her attraction level back up again.
Also there’s a law of human nature that can help you.
And it’s that…
People Tend to See the Past With “Rose-Colored Glasses”
Look, you have created attraction in her in the past. The way you did that is still in you. You should try to remember how you acted with her when she first started liking you. It’s a winning formula.
However, unattractive behaviors cancelled out that attraction.
Therefore, what you need to do here is eliminate those bad behaviors.
Now the good news is that people see the past with “rose-colored glasses”.
That means that they remember the positive things from the past.
So as you go no contact and remove yourself from her life, she’ll notice you are gone, and then she’ll reminisce about the great times you shared together.
She’ll think back to the relationship you had and view it with rose-colored glasses. She’ll remember what she felt for you… future plans she had with you… and maybe she’ll even start feeling something for you again.
This will cause her to start missing you as she slowly starts gaining attraction again.
However, this will only happen once you remove the negative behaviors that annoy her and turn her off.
If you impose yourself in her life by continuously badgering her with texts when she needs space… that toxic neediness won’t allow her to think of you with rose-colored glasses… and it will hold back her attraction.
And if you want to re-attract your girlfriend back to you (and I’m guessing you do, or you wouldn’t be reading this)… then you should watch this video here:
Free Video: How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
It reveals a simple series of steps you can take… starting right now… to “re-attract” your ex girlfriend and change the way she feels about you.
