If you broke up with your girlfriend, and want her back more than anything… here’s a simple, 3-step method that will actually “re-attract” your ex…and make her reconsider your relationship, and realize that YOU are the guy she truly belongs with:
==> I Want Her Back Now
The topic of this article is called “give your ex girlfriend time and space”.
The reason I’m writing this is that so many of my students are messing up with an ex girlfriend they want to bring back in their lives. They aren’t giving their ex girlfriend enough time and space to let her feelings grow back for them… and so instead of re-attracting her… they miss their chance completely.
Now I’ll show you some of their questions… if you’re going through something similar to this, pay close attention.
Let’s start with the first.
My Ex Says She Needs Time to Think… How to Get Her Back?
So my ex gf said she really does miss me, and that she wants to get back together, but not now.
She said she needed time to think so I stopped talking to her… I did, and like an hour later she said give me time, not ignore me, I said you wanted time and I’m giving you time, and she said “I know” and I haven’t messaged her since, its been a week now.
I feel like I should wait, and have her message me first.
What should I do? I still love her,
I would take her back in a heart beat, but I’m also to the point that what ever happens, happens. Like I don’t need her in my life, but I do want her in my life.
Anyway! What should I do? Wait? Thanks!
If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, it’s great to have that mentality of “whatever happens happens.”
In other words, you *WANT* her, but you don’t *NEED* her.
Because getting a girl back all comes down to ATTRACTION.
You want to get her attracted to YOU enough, such that she decides that she STRONGLY DESIRES to be your girlfriend again.
Now part of that… is showing her that you’re a confident and in-control man who’s on his purpose.
But if you communicate that you need her and can’t live without her… she will see you as WEAK… and it will send her running away.
You see, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for a woman to feel attraction for a guy who she views as “weak” and dependent on her for emotional validation.
As long as she thinks of you as weak, your chances of getting her attracted to you again are ZERO.
I hope this makes sense.
Now that I went over that, let’s talk about what she texted you about needing space.
When a woman says “I need time to think”, it usually means “give me some space because you are smothering me and it’s making me feel less attraction for you”…
So good job not messaging her after that.
Give your ex girlfriend time and space. If she doesn’t reply to one of your texts, don’t suffocate her with more texts.
What To Do Now?
Well, this woman obviously has feelings for you and wants to reconnect. That’s why she came back with “give me time, but don’t ignore me!”
And that’s why it’s so important to not BLOW IT with this woman… because you have a chance to get her back!
However, reading your story makes it clear to me that you aren’t being decisive enough and taking control of the situation to make her want you back.
So to fix this, here are three keys you need to start following when texting your ex girlfriend.
Key #1: Don’t spend too much time getting into long text conversations that lead nowhere.
Seriously.You should only be sending a few texts and quickly transitioning to making a date.
Key #2: Whenever your ex messages you after a long time of no-contact, assume she misses you and wants to see you… and set up a date.
Tell her “I’d love to see you, when are you free to get together?” Or “I suppose you want to see me, when are you free to get together?”
Again, don’t dilly-daddle in text conversations that go nowhere. Take control and be decisive.
You see, being indecisive, being unsure, and worrying about the other person’s feelings for you — that is all feminine energy.
So when this woman who you used to date seems unsure about what she wants and claims she needs space and time to think, while at the same time she wants to connect with you…
all of this is NATURAL because she’s being her FEMININE self.
What to do in that situation? Get into your MASCULINE.
Amidst all the confusion, mixed signals, and indecisiveness in her texts, inject masculinity into the text interaction by being decisive, and setting a date.
If instead you act feminine by lingering on text for too long, waiting for more proof that she likes you, or waiting for the girl to “man up” and set the date herself… you will burn your opportunity.
The 3rd key for you has to do with another typical “FEMININE” mistake guys make when trying to get their ex back.
Key #3: No “Relationship and Feelings” talk in text or in person
Remember, the phone is to set dates. Period.
Not to talk about why you broke up… or your feelings… or asking if she still likes you… or if she wants to be your official girlfriend again.
All that “feelings and relationship” talk – let the woman take care of that.
And she will… once she feels enough attraction to you again.
But that’s the female department.
What you want to do is avoid talking about your feelings for her or “getting serious.”
Instead, think of it like you’re dating her for the first time. BE FUN… and make dates where you two can hang out, have fun,and hook up.
Because once you start thinking “I want to get her back and make her my girlfriend again” and you pressure her to get back with you just to KNOW in your head that she is all yours again…
…that’s when you FAIL to get her back.
That’s why you should only focus on the “fun”… and in between dates, give your ex girlfriend time and space to allow her feelings to GROW for you.
Now let’s move on to another similar question that covers this very same topic.
We had a relationship of 14 months, it was all going good according to me but according to her it wasn’t.
At the end of our relationship she said that I am suffocating her but I didn’t know how I am suffocating her.
(When women feel suffocated or “smothered”… they lose attraction and pull away from you. This is something that used to happen to me A LOT in the past… and I didn’t know what I was doing to make the girls feel suffocated. I wrote an article about this)
This was my first relationship so I had no idea how to handle your partner when she/he says I need space.
I did the same mistake as you have mentioned in your article, I chased her. I was down on my knees, I was crying but instead of being warm she went emotionally numb on me.
(When you feel like you’re losing a girl, it’s easy to lose your emotional control… and you automatically try doing anything to get her back… so you instinctively chase the girl by sending texts and trying to go more in her life.
The problem with this is that you CROWD her space even MORE… and this makes her feel smothered and suffocated.
This causes her to feel “less free” and she distances herself from you… which is why she said she disliked you soon afterwards.)
On 7 July 2017 she dumped me saying that she dislikes me now, in return I asked for an exposure but she denied to even meet me.
Next day she texted me saying “I love you but you are very much emotionally dependent on me”. She also said “take time to work on yourself because this relationship and I want a strong Jaskaran.”
(Wow, this is a rare girl because she is actually being very honest here.
Apparently, she still had at least some feelings for you at this point, but your weak behavior was stopping her from falling in love. Your emotional dependence on her was toxic and turning her off.
Work on yourself to fix this, and you will be a strong Jaskaran.)
I was shattered wondering how something like this could happen. For a few days I was in a state of denial and then I finally realized that yeah, it is all over.
So in that post break up phase I started 3 start-up and they are doing pretty well now.
I maintained no contact from my side but she has always breached it and suddenly out of no where she blocked me from everywhere, I didn’t react to it at all.
(Awesome! This is how you recover from a breakup. You go back to focusing on your purpose in life, you kick ass at work, and this gives you confidence that transfers to your dating life.)
3 weeks ago she finally unblocked me and said I really miss you. So from that day she is maintaining some kind of indirect contact with me like mentioning me on Facebook or anything like that but I only respond when she takes some step.
But I need your help how to proceed, I miss her every day but I don’t show it to her and thanks to my work I got my self esteem back. I just don’t want to do anything without some advice…. how do I proceed further?
Ok J, it’s apparent she still has some feelings for you, but in order to get her back, you have to mostly not mess things up.
It’s extremely important to not get so emotionally dependent on her once you start talking again. Don’t get so needy and clingy or it will push her away again.
I recommend you read my articles and emails because they will guide you in the right direction. Whenever you feel like you’re getting needy again, go back to the articles and correct yourself.
You might have a lot of chemistry with her… and it seems like she really cares about you…
But if you act needy and make her feel suffocated, you will stop the chemistry from happening.
The tragic part about this is that…
Your needy behavior won’t allow her to fall in love with you, even if she wants to!
So right now here’s what you should do:
Wait for her to reach out to you, and once she does, create a meetup. The best kind of meetup is to invite her over to your place to hang out.
Now What Comes Next is VERY IMPORTANT, so listen up.
When you hang out with your ex girlfriend, adhere to the following…
- Don’t talk about the “relationship label” or getting her back
- Don’t talk about feelings
- Don’t talk about past mistakes
- Don’t try to be her boyfriend
Instead, only focus on “FUN.”
- Be her LOVER
- Create meetups where you hang out and have fun
- Give your ex girlfriend time and space in between dates, to allow her to fall in love with you
Right now, it’s much better to act like you want fun in a “friends with benefits” manner.
Because as soon as you try to get the relationship back by talking about relationship labels, the woman will back away.
To become “officially” boyfriend and girlfriend again, let the woman bring up “getting together”. Let her be the one that asks “so what are we?”.
I hope this make sense.
Trying to get the relationship back too fast is one of the 7 deadly mistakes that will push her away from you… for good.
It’s true — most guys end up actually FORCING their ex girlfriend away from them because they just don’t realize that they’re committing one (or more) of the 7 deadly mistakes in this video:
I’ll talk to you again soon.