Give Her Space and She’ll Come Back

If the special woman in your life just broke up with you, or even if you’re still “together” but she’s acting cold and distant…

Then this is the most important article you’re ever going to read.

Especially if she has said any of the following phrases:

• “I need space”
• “We should take a break”
• “Give me time”
• “I don’t want a serious relationship right now”
• “Let’s just be friends for now”

In this article, I will reveal 1 SNEAKY mistake that causes a girl to say those phrases… and you’ll learn a strategy that gets her eager to spend time with you again, because it makes her want to be your girlfriend.

(By the way, this video shows you little known techniques to “rewire” your ex’s feelings and make her want you back)

Why You Must Give Her Space

When a girl leaves you, most people say “give her space and she’ll come back”.

And they’re right…

But they never explain *WHY* it’s true.

So in this article I’ll reveal in detail:

• Why you should give her space and she’ll come back
• The secret masculine-feminine dynamic that causes a girl to come back to you after you create space
• How to rebuild your strong emotional core after becoming weak

And now in this next section, I reveal to you the first clue explaining “why” you should give her space.

A Simple Way to Visualize a Girl Acting “Hot and Cold” 

I want you to take a look at this graph:

This is what the girl does. She’s following her feelings flowing up and down.
She has “hot and cold” periods and sometimes you feel like she’s gone cold on you.

What a lot of men do is they freak out when the girl goes cold, and they chase more.

Like this:

In the graph, the guy is “following” the track of the woman. He is chasing her for the attention she has removed from him during her “cold” period.

Have you been guilty of this? I know I have.

Ever felt like your emotions were DEPENDENT on the attention a girl was giving you… making you feel VALIDATED? I’ve been there too.

The nature of this is that when the woman goes cold and fades away… she creates space away from you (her line goes away from your line on the graph).

Now if you become concerned and you chase (your line “chases” her line)… you will crowd her space causing her to fade away even more wanting more space.

Because you’re in her space, you don’t create that natural attraction for her to come back. This is the big mistake guys make that lead to TRAGIC breakups.

What’s worse is that if you crowd her space like this, the woman’s attraction will fade away without you noticing… until it’s too late and she gives you the “We need a break” or “I can’t do this anymore” speech.

How Giving Her Space Creates Attraction

Here’s what to do when she fades.

What you need to do, is find a solid purpose or passion in life that acts like an ANCHOR, and grounds you emotionally.

So then whenever a girl fades a bit, you HOLD YOUR GROUND, like a MOUNTAIN, and you remain strong at you core.

This would look like this:

See how you are staying the same while the woman is weaving all over the place?

Here the woman fades away and creates space, but you don’t freak out. You let her have her space, and by her being “far” away from you, it creates attraction for her to come back. 

This is how you give her space to miss you and it’s why giving her space works.

From a feminine point of view, the woman sees the strength you maintain even when she takes her validation away… and now when she comes back to you she’ll see you as stronger and more “masculine” than before.

But you need to have the strength to let her go. If you freak out and bombard her phone, she won’t get the attraction to come back.

Makes sense?  It’s ok if this doesn’t make sense the first time, but I hope that the more you think about it, the more it’ll be ingrained into you.

Now let’s go through an email I got from my student David, who’s experiencing the same situation as you.

Question: My girlfriend broke up with me but I just can’t give her space. I don’t want to let her go… how could I possibly get her back?

Hey Frankie, here’s my story…

Things were great before the break up… and recently she went on a trip to visit her parents and texted me saying all sorts of things like “I’m all yours next week when I come back <3”. 

So nothing to worry about right?

Well… then she went to a small party with a group of friends that live near her parents and some guy  forced himself onto her luckily nothing happened to her but, she called me telling me what happened and panicked.

However, that’s when she started going cold…

She was distant towards me, and didn’t flirt with me like she used to. It’s like her candle burned out.

Then when she came back, she texted me saying she wanted to break up.

She said she doesn’t want this and is scared that I might end up like the rest of her exes: Using her, manipulating her, obligating her to doing things she didn’t want to do, or controlling her as if she was a slave.

Now it’s been two weeks since the breakup. We talk every so often and I asked her two days ago if there existed another chance for us to date.

I told her that we had something great going on, and assured her that I will never do any of the things she feared. In fact, I used our past as evidence that I have never laid a finger, or harmed her in any way. She then cried and said the “pain in her heart” was too much.

I texted her yesterday to know if she was feeling alright, and we texted for a few minutes. Then at the end she texted me saying she needs space, and needs a breather, because she is angry at the whole situation.

I really love this girl, and honestly I don’t want to let her go. I respect her space but I need advice as to how I can possibly get her back.

Thank you!

– David

My Reply: 3 Keys to Getting Her Back

Hey David,

This seems like the classic case of the girl wanting space, and it’s very important that you listen up.

There are 3 Keys to this Situation

Key #1: Take the “reasons” she gives you with a grain of salt. (i.e. the reason for the break up, or why you can’t be together)

Women often don’t know why they lose attraction, and justify it with reasons that have nothing to do with the real culprit.

In your case, she seeks space, and so you must create space and allow her to come on her own.
The more you pursue, the more distant she’ll get.

Assume that the reason for the attraction loss is that she felt overwhelmed. So give her a breather right now.

Key #2: The “what to do” to get her back is to “do nothing”

You may think that you need to keep texting her to get her back, or that you somehow need to prove yourself to her and show her you will be a great guy…

…so you’re looking for a plan of action that does that.

But the way she’s acting tells me she’s just overwhelmed and needs space in order to regain her attraction for you.

The words she says can be a trap that baits you into proving yourself, but if you do that, you’ll just crowd her space even more and it’ll do nothing to trigger attraction in her again.

But you must go no contact.

And I get it, no contact probably feels weird and alien to you.

When you’re going no contact, you feel that you’re not doing everything you can to get her back.

Which is why you get the impulse to reach out at her.

But these are irrational emotions that cause you to make mistakes.

The more you pursue her, the more she feels you aren’t strong at your core.

She feels you need her validation to feel positive emotions.

Key #3: To actually recreate attraction, you have to come from a position of masculine strength. You have to be emotionally strong at your core.

When you feel weak, you are unable to endure a few days of no contact with the girl.

So you reach out.

During this time, the girl can’t feel attraction for you because she feels you can’t take the no contact period. She wants a man who doesn’t become weakened when she stops giving him attention.

What this means for you is that you must come from a position of strength, and go “no contact” until she reaches out.

You may feel hesitation to “letting her go” – because you feel she’ll fade away forever…

But is a myth that if the flame of attraction dies out, that it can’t be restarted again.

Attraction is not like a living thing were dying is permanent.

Similarly, when she felt attraction for you, it wasn’t permanent either.

That’s because attraction isn’t “set in stone”.

Her attraction for you in the past only applied during THAT MOMENT.

Similarly, her zero attraction level right now only applies in THIS MOMENT.

You can definitely re-trigger her attraction again, but only if you follow the fundamentals:  Create space, become strong again, work on yourself… and then when she reaches out in the future, you’ll be ready.

Related Article: “Ex Girlfriend Acting Cold Towards Me” – 5 Strong Behaviors to Get Her Love Back

Question: Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break and Date Other People

Dear Frankie,

My ex girlfriend went distant, and now I think I’ve ruined it with her.

She says she doesn’t feel it anymore and says phrases like “I need space”, I just don’t feel it anymore”, “let’s take a break and date other people”.

It hurts so much because we had something good, and now it’s gone.

But she doesn’t see what we could have. I know we are compatible. I know I’ll be great for her. I just need to convince her, and make her see how good we could be, so that she takes me back.

How do I convince her to give us one more chance? If she could just tell me what I need to fix, to make her want me, then I would know what to do.

We are still barely chatting,  but I almost lost her. Now I am hanging by a thread.

Please help me Frankie, I don’t want to lose her. Plus the thought of her being with someone else is killing me…

– John

My Reply: To Reverse Her Decision, Give Her Space to Change Her Feelings

Hey John,

It all comes down to the attraction she FEELS, not some artful convincing you do based on LOGIC.

If you do a mathematical proof that is 100% correct in saying you are great for her, she still wouldn’t agree because it’s not what she FEELS. Her emotions are what need convincing, by raising her attraction level.

If she truly has some feelings for you, giving her space is what could tip her over to you.

Now I know, you probably feel that letting her go means her flame will go out forever and you’ll lose her. But that’s not really how it works.

There’s nothing in female psychology that says if you give her space she’ll just forget about you.

On the contrary…

1. Crowding her space too much stops her from gaining back the feelings she had for you
2. Women are attracted more to men whose feelings are unclear

That means that relentless pursuing will only ruin your chances.

Yes, you want to feel like you’re doing everything you can to get her back.

That’s why you get the “illusion of action” — the feeling in your brain that
you have to “DO SOMETHING” to win this girl back.

You’re worried that if you just sit back and do nothing, you’ll lose your chance.

But the “thing” you need to do to get her back, is to “DO NOTHING” at all!

See, when you’re weak at your core, you need the girl’s validation to feel good about yourself… so you find it hard to create space and leave her alone for a while.

However, as you go no contact during your period of recovery, you will “retrain” yourself to create positive emotions without her.

And then once you rebuild your “strong emotional core” muscle… you’ll become “attractive” to her again.

That is the whole idea of “give her space and she’ll come back”.

Also as you become stronger, you will go towards an abundance mentality.

Abundance Mentality

When you feel more abundance, you are less dependent on a girl giving you validation. Either because you have more options, or you have abundance of positive emotions and you are able to create them independently.

Law of Nature: Attraction is created when you do the things you would do if you got laid a lot.

How would you act if you had many options?

When your actions reflect that you have options and are OK with not getting validation from the girl, that’s the recipe for attraction creation.

Right Now You Have Oneitis

Oneitis means that you have scarcity, the opposite of abundance.

It means you feel she is the only girl in the world for you.

Your brain focuses just on her, like you have tunnel vision.

She becomes your purpose… and your previous purpose suffers.

Whatever your old purpose was — maybe it was your career, school, a hobby, or passion… that previous purpose takes a hit.

Your new purpose of “winning the girl” takes over and it strips the resources out of the old purpose.

So maybe now you start slacking at your job, or you get poor grades in school.

That’s what made you feel like the universe changed on that very moment you started to REALLY LIKE this girl.

Because that’s when the attention of your brain got directed into this new “mission” of winning the girl.

It got directed like sunlight into a magnifying glass all focused on one point.

And I say “mission” because you feel like a soldier going into battle on a mission to conquer the girl. 

Now I’ve been talking about this “state of mind” you’re having of being locked on a purpose to win the girl. You know, it’s like you’re inside a cloud of emotions

But this state of mind I’ve been talking about will ruin you, and it will DESTROY your chances for actually attracting the girl

Why? Because it comes from a state of scarcity, neediness, and oneitis.

The SHIFT you must make is to…

Cultivate a Purpose That is Independent of the Girl

Don’t make your purpose to “win the girl”.

Think back at how the universe used to be before this love crisis.

What were your biggest goals and ambitions? Focus on those.

Next,

Develop a Strong Masculine Core to Attract the Girl Back

You want to have a strong masculine emotional core that keeps you stable in spite of her validation

Female Shit Test: Nature’s way of testing your masculine core.

If she senses you freak out when she stops giving you attention, she’ll see that you aren’t strong enough for when shit actually hits the fan.

Because if you get knocked off balance when a girl stops being nice, how will you react when there is REAL danger?

She wants you to be strong enough to protect her… and one of the ways she “tests” this is by going distant on you.

It’s likely she isn’t even aware that she’s doing this, it’s like an instinct.

Give Her Space When She Goes Cold

When your ex girlfriend is hot and cold…

She comes back to you, leaves you, comes back again, and then loses feelings again.

The main rule here is that: Her feelings aren’t “set in stone”.

Whatever she says you may think is forever… but she only means it in the moment because that’s what she’s feeling in that moment.

So when she says she loves you, it only applies to that moment. When she says she wants nothing to do with you, it also only applies to that moment.

If she’s oscillating between loving you and losing feelings… it means something you’re doing is making her lose feelings, but then you’re also doing something to make her feelings grow back.

Maybe when she left in the past you were convinced it was truly over so you moved on from her… and then when she came back you didn’t pursue, were non-needy, and she started falling for you again.

But then you got attached to her again, started texting her too much, every day, which crowded her space, and pushed her away.

The solution is to let her come to you at her own pace. Don’t overpursue.
That means don’t over-text her. Use text mostly to setup dates.

Only focus on creating opportunities to have fun and hookup.

Let her be the one who comes up with relationship labels. That’s her department.

If you bring them up too early when she isn’t ready, the woman will say things like “I think we’re moving too fast” or “I’m not ready for a relationship”.

That’s why it’s better to let her bring it up, and let her come at her own pace.

How Attraction Grows Back During Distance

Space causes attraction to develop in her, when she senses she went away from you, but you stayed put.

When the man stays put like a rock, the way the woman regains attraction is like an instinct.

This is the essence of “give her space and she’ll come back”.

As you create space and work on yourself, you should

1. Study the material on this site detailing how attraction works.
2. Date other women
3. Embark yourself on a new self-development journey that becomes your NEW PURPOSE.

While “getting the one specific girl” shouldn’t be your purpose… getting good with women in general and CAN be.

I hope this painful experience becomes the trigger to a new self-development journey that motivates you to learn exactly how female psychology works, how to trigger attraction in women, and how to become the man you’ve always wanted to be.

The Biggest Mistake is Not Getting Help

Right now you have the pressure of pain that motivates you to TAKE ACTION to get your shit handled.

Tony Robbins calls this “emotional leverage”.

Now you are still reading this article, which means you’re probably in pain and highly motivated to re-attract your ex girlfriend back.

If you want to learn a simple series of steps you can take… starting right now… to “re-attract” your ex girlfriend and change the way she feels about you, watch this video here:

Free Video: How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Make it happen!

Your friend,
Frankie

 

Articles Linked to in the Content Above

No Contact With Ex Girlfriend to Get Her Back – 3 Steps

Being a Man on Your Purpose

How to Deal With a Hot and Cold Ex Girlfriend