“The Grand Romantic Gesture is the bold move you think you need to make when your girlfriend loses feelings for you and you desperately want to try anything to get her attraction back”
So you have a girl fading on you.
She used to like you but then lost attraction for you.
And now you feel like you have to do SOMETHING to win her back.
So here you are looking for ideas.
And you think of possible romantic gestures to win her back…
Should you send her flowers? Should you buy her a gift? Write her a song? Draw a portrait of her face and deliver it by hand? Should you put on a mariachi outfit and sing love ballads in her honor?
Hold your horses.
Romantic gestures will ruin you, and in this article I’ll explain why.
In fact, I’ll give you 5 reasons a romantic gesture will actually push her away.
Now I get it, when your girlfriend loses feelings for you, you worry you will lose her forever. Your brain gets into “war mode” and you start thinking of ideas.
And it makes sense, you want to try everything in your power to get her back. You think you’ll regret it if you don’t do everything possible. You want to throw that one last “Hail Mary”.
So you hatch an elaborate plan to make a grand bold move that attempts to change her mind and make her like you again.
Maybe you buy her flowers, maybe you buy her a gift, or maybe you spill your guts and get on your knees and beg…
But there are 5 reasons this doesn’t work.
Table of Contents
- 5 Reasons Romantic Gestures Don’t Win Her Back
- Reason #1: When a girl needs space, crowding her space with romance is counterproductive
- Reason #2: You’re using external things to win or even “buy” her affection
- Reason #3: It doesn’t fix the thing that caused her to lose attraction
- Reason #4: The woman will feel you don’t understand her.
- Reason #5: She Doesn’t Trust You to be Her “Rock”
- How to Recover, Make Yourself Attractive, and Win Her Back Again
- Do This When She Breaks Up With You
- What to do Next:
5 Reasons Romantic Gestures Don’t Win Her Back
Let’s say a woman you’re seeing fades away and tells you she needs space.
This gets you worried and makes you decide you need a romantic gesture to get her back.
There are several reasons this doesn’t work… and the first is freedom.
Reason #1: When a girl needs space, crowding her space with romance is counterproductive
When a girl says “give me some space and time”… what do most guys do? They freak out and overcompensate by doing more…
…And by smothering her space!
See, when a woman needs space, the core issue is freedom.
She wants freedom to herself at that moment. She doesn’t want to feel tied down. This is the least likely time she wants to do that.
Therefore, she wants to take a “break” from girlfriend duties. She doesn’t want that pressure right now.
With this in mind… more boyfriend qualities from you are THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what she needs.
Keep this in mind if you’re scouting for romantic gestures to win her back.
Romantic gestures are not the only boyfriend quality to avoid when her attraction is low. Here are other boyfriend qualities that push her away when she needs space:
- Being more available
- Doing more favors for her
- Trying to fix things for her
- Solving her problems
- Always checking up on her (fear of losing her provokes you to check up on her more to see who she’s hanging out with)
- Buying her flowers or gifts
The next reason a “romantic gesture” doesn’t work is…
Reason #2: You’re using external things to win or even “buy” her affection
The change she wants is from YOU and your behavior.
She feels you don’t understand her needs, she wants space from all the “commitment pressure” she feels, not a bold romantic move that takes the relationship to a more serious committed level. She wants the OPPOSITE of that.
Attraction is what makes her want to be with you. She wants YOU, and your personality.
If you do a romantic gesture to win her back, what you’re saying is “I’m not good enough so I need this external “thing” to help me get her back”. It’s like you feel you’re not worthy so you need to compensate.
That’s what she’ll sense on a deep level
There’s a good chance she’ll also feel manipulated.
Like you did all these things for her so now she HAS to “put out”
Even if you didn’t consciously try to manipulate her, she could feel this.
Instead, attempt to fix the thing that is actually causing her attraction loss.
Reason #3: It doesn’t fix the thing that caused her to lose attraction
So you made a bold move on the girl and got her a gift. So what? You still didn’t fix what’s causing her to lose attraction in the first place (too much smothering and commitment pressure).
Reason #4: The woman will feel you don’t understand her.
She’ll know that you still don’t “get it”.
Because you’re using something external to patch up the issue instead of addressing the issue directly, and this shows a lack of understanding of her needs.
What she wants is for you to fix something internal in YOU.
Namely, to fix the way you carry yourself with her (gaining more understanding of her needs).
And I mean truly understanding her needs, not just telling her what she wants to hear.
Reason #5: She Doesn’t Trust You to be Her “Rock”
This is a big one.
You want the “cheat code” that wins her over. The grand romantic gesture that wins her back.
Instead, you need to do the “inner” work that’s required to build your strength.
See, when a woman pulls away, this is the chapter in your relationship that tests your strength.
If you fail this test, she loses trust and she loses attraction.
If you pass, the relationship comes back and grows stronger than ever.
Right now, she doesn’t need a romantic gesture that attempts to win her back…
What she wants is to trust you to be her strong rock of support.
A mountain that doesn’t budge during the high winds of a hurricane.
If she removes her attention from you… how do you react?
Do you still remain strong?
Or do you turn into a wussy who sends her desperate love messages that try to get her attention back?
If she notices that removing her attention provokes weak behavior from you, she will not trust you to be strong for her in times of REAL need. You know, when there’s a real emergency… not merely when a girl stops being nice to you.
How to Recover, Make Yourself Attractive, and Win Her Back Again
First, develop a purpose.
A purpose is a vision that you see yourself doing in the future. It can be a mission, a passion, or a calling that guides you.
A purpose grounds you to your masculine core.
When you aren’t ungrounded, you easily catch wussy “little boy” feelings whenever a cute girl starts being nice to you and then removes her validation. You become dependent on her validation and become afraid of losing it.
When your purpose is keeping you grounded, you are so anchored to it that you’re able to withstand a woman fading.
It isn’t an emotional rollercoaster for you anymore, because your anchor keeps you stable. Maybe you’re a little bummed, but that’s it… cause you have a life!
I want you take a look at the following chart:
This is the woman world line.
Notice how it oscillates up and down? This is what she’s doing with her emotions.
Now what most men do, is they follow the woman… especially if she starts fading away.
Like this:
This is the man becoming dependent on what she is doing.
Instead, when a girl retreats from you, stay put and stay the course.
Like this:
Notice how your line keeps going straight regardless of what she’s doing? That is you being anchored.
Additionally, see how she is now the one chasing you? Her line is oriented to yours.
Are you grounded on your path… or oriented to what the woman is doing?
Keep this in mind throughout your relationships.
Do This When She Breaks Up With You
If she wants to break up, don’t become weak or emotional. Don’t turn into the wussy little boy who’s knocked off balance.
This doesn’t happen when you are anchored to your masculine core.
Sure, a breakup can still bum you, but you don’t lose your shit and become ungrounded and emotional.
When she wants to leave, tell her “ok” and to reach out if she changes her mind, and then walk away and never look back.
Go no contact until she reaches out.
Chances are, she’ll eventually reach out after a while.
How long before she contacts you? Who knows, I’m not a psychic.
However, be ready to go no contact for several months if need be.
Pretend like it’s over and move on. The things you do to move on are actually the same things you do to make yourself more attractive and give yourself the best chance of getting her back.
Then on the day she does reach out and surprises you, follow the advice on this article.
What to do Next:
1. Read my FREE “7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back” eBook
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