If you are in your ex girlfriend’s friend zone… drop what you’re doing and pay close attention to this article.
You see, when you are in the “ex girlfriend friend zone”… it means your ex girlfriend doesn’t feel attracted to you like she did before.
She only wants to be friends.
(Related article: When Your Ex Girlfriend Wants to Be Just Friends)
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being friends with your ex, but if you truly love your ex girlfriend and you really want to get her back, you must break out of the ex girlfriend friend zone before it gets stuck that way.
To do this, you MUST change the way she feels about you now… and give her the feelings she used to have when she was attracted to you before.
To give you an idea of what to do when you’re in the friend zone with your ex girlfriend, let’s take a look at Johnny’s question and my response below.
***Johnny’s Question***
“So me and my ex gf got in a fight like a week ago and broke up.
Then we started texting again yesterday about how we both overreacted and screwed up about certain things along the way.
She said that she was getting scared that we were taking it too fast which I can kinda agree on.
Now we just hung out today and I really started liking her again but I look at her phone and I see that she’s texting a guy that she usually doesn’t talk to. Like she never talked to him while we were dating.
Idk I guess I’m just scared because I feel like I’m in her Friend Zone or that she is using me until she finds another guy she likes. We literally didn’t do anything today. Like no making out like we used to.
When I dropped her back off at her house, I literally had to ask for a kiss before she walked in her house. I don’t know if she still likes me or if I’m just stuck in the Friend Zone. Or if she is just trying to take it really slow.
I asked her today why we weren’t dating because we literally both admitted that we overreacted that day, but she just says she feels lost because 2 of her close friends haven’t talked to her in like a month (nothing related to me).
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my heart to be crushed if she finds another guy while I still like her and while we are hanging out. I just don’t know what to do in this relationship. If anyone could give advice about what she wants from me or what she really means, that’d be great.
– Johnny ”
***My Response***
Ok Johnny,
There are 7 keys you need to keep in mind if you want to escape the ex girlfriend friend zone and get your ex back.
7 Keys to Escape the Friend Zone With Your Ex Girlfriend
The first is to…
1. Go No Contact to Avoid Making Impulsive Mistakes
The first thing you should do is to stop texting her immediately to avoid making a stupid, impulsive mistake (that you’ll regret later).
See, when you text a girl while being immersed in a “desperate” state of mind… it never ends well.
Not only does no-contact allow you to undergo “damage-control”, but you also…
2. Give Her Space
Take a look at the “reason” she gave for the breaking up with you.
What did she say? She said she felt things were happening too fast — This tells me that she wants some space.
Maybe you asked to hang out with her too much… maybe you texted her too much, who knows…
Either way, she needs space and probably felt SMOTHERED.
So give her some space, man.
If you don’t, you will push her away and it will derail your plan to get her back.
The third key to escape the ex girlfriend friend zone is to…
3. Don’t Be Pushy About Getting Back The Relationship
If you feel like you’re the one putting in all the effort to make this work, don’t push it.
She probably isn’t that interested in a relationship with you right now.
Sure, you got a kiss when walking her back to the house, but the fact that you had to ask for it made you feel a bit uneasy, didn’t it?
That’s a sign to take it easy and don’t push things towards a relationship.
4. Instead, Give Her the Gift of Missing You
As David DeAngelo likes to say, “give her the gift of missing you.”
Don’t text her just to text her, don’t always agree to hang out with her when she asks you, and don’t feel the need to hang around places you know she’ll be so that you “accidentally” bump into her.
One surefire way to get stuck in the friend zone is to hang out a lot with her without things getting physical or romantic.
Much better, is to CREATE the space that allows her to wonder what you’re up to and why you haven’t texted her in a while.
Of course, it’s hard to do this when you’re sitting at home alone in your computer chair feeling sad, missing your ex, and trying as hard as you can to not send her a text.
So the key to do this, is to…
5. Build An Ecosystem of Positive Emotions Around Yourself
Right now, your feelings are largely dependent on your ex girlfriend.
If she reacts positively to that last joke you texted her, your self-esteem goes up… if she goes 3 days without texting you back, your self-esteem goes down.
Basically, it comes down to this: Your feelings depend on how much “validated” you feel by her.
Instead, knock the girl off the pedestal, be more selfish, and start doing things for YOURSELF.
Shift the focus away from her, and re-focus it on what can other hobbies, other friends, and other girls that give you positive emotional energy. This is called building an ecosystem of positive emotions.
Now if you stop being dependent on your ex girlfriend for self-esteem validation, you will most likely…
6. Eliminate “Wussy” Mindsets and Behaviors
Listen, if a girl realizes she is monopolizing your attention and making you get “feelings” for her, you are TOAST.
When the girl becomes the center of your world, and you feel oneitis for her, becoming your only source of positive emotions, then you start acting needy, desperate, jealous.
These are all extremely unattractive WUSSY behaviors that women can smell from a mile away!
But once you eliminate that need, you will…
7. Start Becoming a More Attractive Man
OK, so right now you aren’t in a good place to create attraction with your ex girlfriend.
So you need to set yourself up to create this attraction and escape the ex girlfriend friend zone.
To do this, you need to make a SHIFT in your mindset.
You see, you are the one that is chasing her right now. You are the one worrying about if she likes you, and worrying about her seeing other guys.
This needs to stop.
If you want to get out of her friend zone, and start creating more attraction, you need to…
1. Stop overdoing the chasing
2. Start talking to other women
3. Focus on yourself and your ecosystem of positive emotions
Listen, your ex probably has other guys texting her aiming to get her out.
That’s the unfortunate fact you have to face.
She has other OPTIONS that she is in contact with (or seeing). She has ABUNDANCE.
But if you only have HER as your only option, then you are coming from a “scarcity” mindset.
What is the result? She is more attractive to you than you are to her.
With this in mind, if you want to flip this situation around, and give yourself a chance of attraction happening, you need start talking to OTHER WOMEN!!
And…
That Will Shift Your Attitude From Scarce Oneitis to Abundance!
Once you do this, here’s what will happen:
No more oneitis…
No more jealousy…
And no more being the needy ex boyfriend that pushes his ex girlfriend away…
Sound good?
Alright, here’s your ideal next step to completely escape the ex girlfriend friend zone and get her back…
How to Re-Attract Her Back
What if there was a simple series of steps you could start taking right now, to “re-attract” your ex girlfriend back to you and change the way she feels about you…
A re-attraction system that magnetically pulls her back towards you, and makes her forgive you for all the things you feel you did wrong…
So that she gives the relationship another try… and even makes her think that getting back together with you is HER idea…
If that sounds good to you, my friend Brad reveals this “re-attraction” process in this short video presentation right here.
He’ll also reveal how to fix your relationship the easy way and make it STRONGER than ever before.