When a Girl Uses You For Money

Are you tired of getting used by women?

When a girl uses you for money, it’s a very disturbing situation.

You feel used, frustrated, and stupid.

Not to mention the money lost that could have been used elsewhere.

Keep making the same mistakes, and women will keep taking advantage of you… (and you’ll keep feeling stupid)…

Or…

You can make a simple shift in the way you interact with women… that filters out the women you don’t want… (like gold diggers) …and attracts the women you do want.

In this article, you’ll learn how.

The frustration you’re feeling right now is actually a good thing.

So you finally got some “tough love” from the universe telling you to man up and make a change.

Good, that’s how pain motivates you.

But how did this situation come to pass?

In other words… what *INVITED* the woman in your life to use you?

Well you see, sometimes you fall into a “trap”.

If you’re wealthy you are especially vulnerable to this trap. 

And it’s understandable.

When you have money and the means to make things happen, at first glance you might think “why not make the best of this great financial situation I’m in and use it to influence my love life?”

It seems dumb not to think of this… an obvious idea, right?

However, there’s one fundamental problem, and that’s where things go wrong.

Once you try to “buy” women with material things, all sorts of evils open up.

And that’s because whether you’re rich or broke, the universal principles of being a man always apply

A man is the king of his personal space. He sets boundaries, and carries himself with self-respect. An attractive man behaves in this certain way, Failing to do so results in attraction loss.

Failing to set boundaries opens the door for women to walk into your personal space like it’s her own, while manipulating you into doing favors for her…

…all with your consent.

See, you allow it because you think favors might win her over… and because you’re afraid of losing her validation if you refuse to provide for her. You want to provide and take care of her to keep her happy.

However, this whole frame fundamentally doesn’t trigger attraction inside of her. Because you’re sacrificing your power in order to keep her approval.

Look, surely you have the skills to do whatever you do that makes you money. And you’ve got your life together. There’s lots of value in that… it’s plenty for women to admire.

But a quality woman is mostly attracted to those masculine qualities in you that made you a winner with money… not the actual money itself.

Buying her with money is you saying your qualities are not good enough, so you’re compensating with something external.

At the end of the day, the quality women will leave…. and the ones that remain won’t stay for your love, but for the love of your money.

Remember these two things: Boundaries and self-respect, as I will cover them extensively in the 3 “case studies” below.

In this next section I will now go through 3 case studies of guys getting used by women for money or favors. 

Read each one carefully… I invite you to notice their similarities. I have a feeling you’ll know how to apply what you learn to your own specific situation.

***Question #1***

When a girl uses you for money

Frankie I gave my ex everything she ever wanted.

And everything was going ok.

But when I caught her talking to other guys, that’s when the trouble started.

We would break up and she will see other guys.

However I was still taking care of her.

Every day I had car service pick her up and take her to work for a year and a half.

She would always convince me things were my fault.

I bought her a car, gave her a phone, paid the bills, and she still said I was not good enough.

Yet I am young, have my own businesses, and live a pretty good life.

About 3 weeks ago she was coming and going as she pleased because she started seeing a new guy who just got out of jail and was using her for the car I gave her.

She would spend her whole check on him when I was taking care of her.

The last straw for me was when I gave her down payment money for a car and at the dealership she left me because I found out she was talking to another guy… man I really love her.

Alfred

>>>My Comments

Hey Alfred,

“Frankie I gave my ex everything she ever wanted.”

^That’s the problem right there!

She treats you like dirt while you keep giving her stuff.

You reward her misbehavior and she keeps doing it.

Remember: Whatever you reward, you attract more of.

In this case, you invite women who use you for money.

So stop giving her money and doing stuff for her if you’re getting nothing in return.

When a girl uses you for money, you’re not setting boundaries, and you’re communicating that you don’t respect yourself.  

When you don’t respect yourself, women won’t respect you either.

And if a woman doesn’t respect you, she can’t ever love you. It’s impossible.

Gain back respect by setting boundaries.

From now on, women have to earn your “provider” abilities.

A woman has to be nice to you and also do things for you.

To get a woman to love you, it’s better that she does things for you than you for her.

***His Reply***

I never cared how women saw me. I have always been that guy who is the stepping stone.

Females only stick around for the validation they get being with me.

They like to be seen with me at bars, clubs, restaurants… and then they just leave without even a good bye.

***My Reply***

You attract certain results by doing certain behaviors: Like allowing women to step on you.

You have value and women like to be seen with you. That is good!

But when you start giving them stuff, that behavior only attracts women who want to use you for that.

And the nice women you actually want don’t get attracted by giving them material things.

They want to be attracted by who you are, as a man with confidence and personal boundaries.

But instead of showing them you’re the boss with confidence you try to lure them with material stuff, which turns women off…. except the women who want to use you.

In the future, try spending time with women without buying stuff for them.

The only thing you provide them with, is time to spend with you and your personality.

If they want you to buy them stuff, they first have to win you over.

And they have to do stuff for you too!

Make sure your relationship is balanced like that.

***Question #2***

Hey man! I just subbed to your newsletter: I got a question for you and I’m wondering if you could share some advice because in all honesty, I don’t have too much game!

Long story short:

There’s a girl I have known for the past 8 years, and she knows my romantic intentions, but we live in different states!

Like most people, she has had a pretty shitty 2020 and wrong choices caused her to go to rehab.

I thought she might have changed coming out of rehab, but she was still in her old ways of going distant to those who have been there for her most.

So the other day, I called her out on it.

I left her a voicemail telling her that I should be respected and treated more than just a crutch.

Well, after telling her my opinion and standing up for myself, blocked me on IG a few days before Christmas. Should still I wish her Merry Christmas? I did get her gifts before all this happened… and they are being shipped
as we speak!

Any advice would be helpful.

Ralph

>>>My Comments

Hey Ralph,

What I see from your email is that your intent isn’t clear: Your thoughts, words, and actions aren’t aligned.

Meaning, if you’re sending her a voicemail demanding more respect, that doesn’t align with getting her Christmas gifts.

And I bet she didn’t get any gifts for you.

So the getting her gifts part isn’t consistent with “standing up for yourself” or respecting yourself.

Reward only those who value you. Rewarding those who treat you poorly invites more bad behavior… and invites more people who just use you as a crutch.

“No good deed goes unpunished”

Ever heard that before?

This quote applies mostly to good deeds that are done with the expectation of reciprocity.

Those who manipulate by doing favors while expecting something in return, open themselves up for manipulation… as the recipient of the favor can take advantage of these favors and not give anything in return.

Or worse, they get used to using you for that free thing they gave them.

I’m not saying you’re a manipulator yourself, but this is a common trap you fall in when you give favors to someone and let them use you.

If she wasn’t treating you well to begin with, then blocking you on IG shouldn’t be a big deal.

Maybe you should have been the one to walk away first.

Give gifts, time, and attention to only those who also treat you well, give you favors, and buy you gifts.

***Question #3***

I have a quick question. My girl wont get a job and she’s a Russian immigrant.

I spent 350 bucks on her birthday and less than a week later she was complaining that I don’t do enough for her. She broke up with me and I just let it go… to hell with it.

I put an AC compressor in her car, a new transmission, a new radiator, and even towed it home when it broke down. I did this when no one else would help her.

How do I overcome her game of disappearing when she feels slighted but also keep my dignity?

I’ve been very nonchalant about the breakup and haven’t contacted her since.

Cause I’m tired of these “hot and cold” rollercoaster cycles she puts me through.

I appreciate any advice you can offer.

Ted

>>>My Comments

Hey Ted, stop doing favors for her.

You’re doing too many things for her that aren’t being reciprocated or even appreciated.

She is treating you like dirt, yet you keep doing things for her.

In other words, you are “rewarding” her behavior.

It’s a myth that doing more for a girl will get her to like you.

Instead, when a girl does more for you… that’s how you get her to backwards rationalize “I’m doing this for him so I must really like him”. It’s the psychological principle of commitment and consistency.

From now on, don’t contact her again until she reaches out, then if she does invite her over to hang out, but don’t pay anything for her.

Make it a “free” date. The value you give her is the opportunity to hang out with you. That’s how you should view your contribution (not that you’re giving her money).

Shift away from the “provider” role, towards the “lover” role.

You might find that this girl just wants to use you for money and favors, and that’s ok, move on to another girl that’s more interested in being your “lover” than your “free loader”.

Position Yourself as The “Prize” and Let Her Chase You

When you chase a woman too much, the frame is that she is the prize. You want to flip that frame around and invite her to “work” for your affection. 

This video reveals how to position yourself as the prize.

See, a quality man of value isn’t so quick to jump into a relationship. Because he’s got options. 

But when you chase a woman too much, it lowers your status. It shows you have no other options. It shows you want this one woman so much you want to lock her down into a relationship… and that’s when she loses attraction and fades away.

The good news is you can use a sneaky little mind game called “The Scrambler” to position yourself as the “prize” in her mind.

Have a look at this video to see what I mean.