If you’re reading this, then your ex girlfriend most likely has lost all interest in you.
At some point in the past, she used to love you.
- She was eager to see you…
- She texted you often…
- She used the “pet name” she used to call you…
- She talked about future plans that included you in them…
But she’s an entirely different person now.
All her texts have dried up… she rarely wants to meet up… and always has an excuse.
You worry that what she had for you has faded forever and isn’t coming back.
What’s worse now is that your ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend, which has left you destroyed.
How do you deal with this and get out of this hole?
In this article I will cover how to cope with your ex seeing someone new, while simultaneously giving yourself the best chance of ever getting her back.
Now I get it, we all want hope. Part of you wants to feel that you still have a chance with her. You want to feel that you did everything possible to get her back… no regrets.
But I’m here to tell you that while you DO have a chance with her, you must only focus on what you can control.
You can’t control what she ends up feeling for you, but you *CAN* control what *YOU* do to influence what she feels.
“We have a right to our labor, but not to the fruits of our labor.” – Krishna
There is no guarantee about what she does… but you do have full control of what YOU DO.
So from now on I want you to focus on just doing your part, without overthinking about what’s on her mind, and whether or not she’ll respond in the way you want her to respond.
Got it?
Ok let’s move on.
In this article I will go through:
- An email from a reader who’s ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend (the same situation as you)
- The reason his girl lost attraction
- 3 keys to maximizing your chances of ever getting your ex back
Table of Contents
Question From a Reader: “Ex Girlfriend Has a New Boyfriend – She Has Committed to a New Guy and Has Planned Her Future With Him”
Hey Frankie,
So it has been 3 months since I broke up with my girlfriend. We were together almost 2.5 years.
Everything was so perfect and we loved each other a lot.
Now ever since the breakup we still talk to each other, and I have tried for months to convince her to take me back… but she keeps saying we’re incompatible. She says my family is too conservative for a girl like her since she belongs to an upper middle class modern family and I’m from a middle class family.
I try to make her believe that my family is not what they seem and everything will be fine once she gets back… but she doesn’t buy it.
However, she still says she loves me and contacts me every two or three days.
Whenever I try to persuade her, she hurts me a lot. I have cried for hours trying to convince her and I can’t believe she is the same person who used to cuddle me when I used to get upset before… while now I literally cry like a kid and she doesn’t even bother much.
She thinks getting back with me will hurt her again since I used to restrict her way of dressing, but believe me it was only for the sake of our future. I didn’t want my conservative parents to disapprove how she dresses and then come between our potential marriage… you getting me right?
Another thing that concerns me a lot is that she hangs out with a new guy she calls her “close friend” and she knows that he likes her. She hangs out with him alone and sometimes with other friends as well. Whenever I ask her about him she just bursts out on me saying “you don’t trust me or what? etc etc”. She scolds me for asking if there’s anything going on between them.
Now she admits that she still loves and misses me but what is the point of roaming around with a guy who likes you and you know that in future he might propose to you especially knowing she’s at her weak point after a breakup?
Frankie please help me. What do I do here? I’m not able to do anything but overthink think think…. It hurts me a lot bro how do I get her back? She still loves me and if I meet her requirements which I’m sure were not there at the start of our relationship… then she will come back to me in the future but I’m not sure about what’s really going on and the truth behind everything.
– David
***David sends me another email a couple days afterwards***
Frankie she has committed to the new guy and she has planned her future with him.
I don’t trust the guy but that doesn’t really matter right? What should I do now… stop going after her?
– David
>>>My Reply: Losing Her Freedom Made Her Lose Attraction
Hey David, sounds like she was losing her freedom (in how to dress, who to hang out with, etc…) and that made her lose attraction.
Whenever you crowd a girl’s space too much, she pulls away.
The possessive boyfriend squeezes too tight to avoid losing her, and she ends up slipping through his fingers.
Furthermore…
Attraction Isn’t “Set in Stone”
She said she loved you, and didn’t see herself loving someone else… yet shortly afterwards she has already “committed” to a new guy and has “planned a future” with him.
How could this be?
The reason is that how she feels only applies during the moment she said those words.
Feelings are fickle and they aren’t “set in stone”.
Whenever a woman says something about her feelings for you, it only applies to that moment.
Similarly, her feelings for the new guy can also be temporary. It isn’t mandatory that they be “set in stone”.
Yes, she may have supposedly planned a future with him, but at some point she probably planned a future with you as well, and that didn’t materialize did it?
It wasn’t set in stone because emotions can come and go.
Yes, she *says* she still loves you, but that’s the woman sugarcoating things to make you feel better.
The real indicator isn’t her words, but her behavior.
And her behavior indicates she has lost attraction.
So the focus for you now should be on creating attraction inside her again.
How do you do this?
3 Keys to Giving Yourself the Best Chance of Ever Re-Attracting Her Again
1. Strength
Women want to feel that you’ll be strong for her during a real emergency.
If you cry in front of her because you don’t want to lose her, it only shows her anything can knock you off balance. Basically, if a girl’s opinion of you causes you to turn weak, she will lose trust that you won’t be strong in times of real crisis.
When she’s seeing someone new, you have to accept it, keep your calm, and stay strong on your path.
2. Give Her Freedom
Here you have a decision to make. Were you restricting her because of your values or because you were worried your family wouldn’t accept her?
If those are your true values then maybe you two truly aren’t compatible. This girl wants freedom in those areas in her life, and you should want her for who she is, not someone she’s not.
Thich Nhat Hanh says “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”
If you’re only restricting her to avoid family conflict then you must decide if you want to go for what you truly want in spite of their opinion.
To create a change in her mind, she has to realize that you now understand she wants freedom in those areas of her life.
3. Give Her Space
At this point she’s spending time with the new guy… so what you must do here is stop chasing her and create space.
You have to demonstrate you have the strength to go through no contact.
Don’t contact her anymore unless she reaches out first. Let her initiate conversations.
Find a way to let her know you understand that she wants freedom.
And keep your word. That means don’t beg for her back, don’t bring up feelings, and don’t ask about the new guy.
Further Reading: When Your Girlfriend Loses Interest in You
What to do Now:
1. Read my FREE “7 Dangerous Mistakes That Stop You From Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back” eBook
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2. Learn How to Use the “Ex Factor” to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back