“Ex Girlfriend Wants Nothing to do With Me”

An ex girlfriend you can’t stop thinking about wants nothing to do with you… and this drives you NUTS!

This is driving you crazy because… If you can’t get her to talk to you… then how on earth are you going to convince her to get back together with you??

Whenever a student emails saying “my ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with me, how do I get her to talk to me again?”… it points to a deeper flaw in the interaction between the guy and the girl.

HINT: This flaw in how you interact with your ex girlfriend is what makes her lose respect for you… and eventually makes her FALL OUT OF LOVE with you.

I talk about this “flaw” in the following “email exchange”… so pay close attention.

Question: My Ex Wants Nothing to do With Me and Treats Me Badly

I hadn’t contacted my ex for a month, but two weeks ago she texted me to wish me happy birthday. It was short and neat.

Then last weekend I contacted her on whatsapp to see how she was doing.

She said “I’m busy. You take care”. That’s it. I asked her if she doesn’t even
have 5 mins to talk? for which she retaliated saying “What do you want?”
“What happened to you suddenly”

She was really rude this time for no reason… and I was about to implode.

So I wrote her a long message saying I just wanted to talk to her. I heard she was coming to visit in December and I wanted to see her.

I also said:

I have never done this to you – many a times I get treated like shit for no exact
reason and it feels very rough. But that’s okay. You are not difficult, but you
are different. We all are.

I don’t want to feel rough anymore. Ive been through this from one year now. You and this whole heartbreak have changed me and have realised a lot.

Now I don’t want to feel rough anymore, it’s not how friendship works. I was there whenever I can. Now I’ll walk away, And now that you have new
things that you’ve always wanted, I’m glad.

All though this is not about past or getting back together – look, things changed for you. For me, it didn’t. It all remained the same and I was willing to fight for it. I value you more than a “friend” or some “buddy”. to me you are more adorable, fun, beautiful, a little chaotic, Moody in a lovable way and most importantly more a strong, smart, ambitious and sexy girl. You’ve always been.

It’s not easy for me sit and type all this. But I cannot tolerate this anymore –
getting treated like this – not in the name of friend or the past relationship.
I agreed to be a friend because I have a heart. It was at your convenience.
I will not stand anymore get hit in the same wound, not anymore once the wound starts to bleed upon the heart. Not anymore now that things have fallen and falling into its places for you which is good, I’m happy for you.

If you ever change your mind to text, talk or meet or date or anything you let me know.”

This morning a mutual friend of told me that she has moved on.

Looks like my ex wants nothing to do with me.

Furthermore, she apparently asked someone out… but the guy was already in a relationship, and it didn’t work out.

It did hurt me a bit. But, I’m happy I sent this above message. I had to do it!

Hereafter, I’ll neither call her not text her.

Let me know your thoughts.

Thanks brother.

– Gaurab

My Reply: You Valued Her Way More Than She Valued You

Hey Gaurab, if you needed to send her that message to help you move on, ok…

But if you’re still holding out hope to get her back, sending her all that stuff
dug you deeper into the hole… and maybe it completely blew your chances.

That long message is a sign of a deep “flaw” in the way you’ve been interacting with her… 

And I’ll explain more soon.

But first I want to point out that when she contacted you on your birthday, that was a good time to directly ask when she’s free to get together.

Next, when you texted her to “check in”…she treated you badly.

And that is when you should have walked away. Right when she said “you take care, I’m busy.” That’s when you should have said reach out when you sort your schedule out, and that’s it.

That long message you sent her did things that don’t allow her to become attracted to you.

Like…

1. Having an intense conversation about your feelings

   and…

2. Rewarding her A TON in spite of the fact that she’s being rude to you — You treat her like the special princess even though she treats you like dirt.

That’s the definition of SUPPLICATION. And it is probably the number one thing that made her lose attraction for you in the past.

This is the flaw I mentioned earlier. When guys put the girl on a pedestal and treat her way more important than them.

Case in point: “many a times I get treated like shit for no exact reason and it feels very rough. But that’s okay. You are not difficult, but you are different.”

Translation: You treat me like shit, but I let it pass and won’t stand up for myself… because to me you are “special”, and you are “different”.

Women act bitchy and RESENT you if you don’t stand up to yourself when they give you bad treatment.

This is what made her lose respect… and a woman is unable to love you when she doesn’t respect you. It’s impossible.

All throughout this interaction, you are valuing her way more than yourself…

…all while she’s completely cold (and meanwhile trying to date another guy).

It’s evident by the effort you put on that last message… versus the no effort at all she’s been putting in her messages.

So right now, the key change you need to make is to…

Respect and Value Yourself More

Think about it this way:

If you had 10 hot girls all vying for your attention and treating you like a king, you wouldn’t give nearly this much value to a girl who treated you like crap.

But when you’re in a scarcity state of mind, and then suddenly one girl gives you attention, it affects your thinking very powerfully. Your brain tricks you into giving her more value because you fear losing all you have…

So you give her all your power and respect while rationalizing that she’s “special”… she’s “different”… but that’s just your mind under the influence of a cloud of emotions.

Start treating yourself better, and you will start attracting more women into your life.

His Reply: She Treated Me Like I Was Nothing

Yeah she just treated me very badly…

And when she texted on my birthday, it looked more like – “ah let me just wish this guy happy birthday and be done with it.” 

And then she wasn’t ready to continue to talk. I told to get back to me when  she’s free. She didn’t even bother to respond.  It’s obvious she wants nothing to do with me. I got really fed up of the way she texted.

Made me realise that she’ll just walk all over me again. Thats why I made it clear to her that I can’t be friends anymore. And now that she’s made friends there she doesn’t text me anymore.

Sometimes I do feel I lost control, but if you look at it, there is no doubt that she would continue to behave like this even in the coming days.

I guess she’s moved on. I get this feeling I won’t get to see her again anymore. Thats hard, but that’s the truth.

I do hope to see contacts me when she’s here, but I’ll keep low expectations.

I’ll just focus on myself. Let her text if she wants to.

Thanks for your feedback, Frankie.

Be blessed man.

My Reply: Move on and Focus on Yourself

Yea good mindset, focus on yourself. Reward those who treat you well, remove the reward for those who dont.

His Reply: Should I Text Her One More Time?

I will, Frankie. I will. I’ve been working, I travel a lot for work. So I’m focusing on the “now” and learning more. Been working out to get fitter, this also helps me a bit to avoid sleepless nights. THANKS A LOT MAN! We love your inputs and motivation.

I wanted to ask you –

Should I text my ex girlfriend one more time and try to get her to meet up with me?

I won’t act needy and desperate. I’ll focus on being happy and letting go of past. Once I get to know she’s here, I’m planning to leave her a text to ask her for a meeting. More like I’m taking the responsibility for this meeting.

I’ll ask her – “Hey, Poo, I believe you must be here for Holidays. I wanted to meet you. It would be great to catch up and see you. Don’t worry this is a friendly meeting. Nothing more nothing less. Let me know”

I just think I want to be a man and take one more shot (to meet her), Frankie.

What do you think?

My Reply: She Dumped You Like You Were Nothing, Because She Lost Respect

The act of sending the message itself is the problem.

It will only show her you still haven’t moved on… because you still get the urge to reach out to her… and it’ll likely turn her off.

She dumped you like you were nothing, because she lost all respect for you.

You have to ask yourself why do you still want to see her, regardless of her bad behavior?

To get her respect back, you have to start respecting yourself.

Act like you have value and don’t pursue an ex who wants nothing to do with you.

It’s funny you mention you want to be a man and take one shot. I would say reaching out by texting a girl who treats you badly is the opposite of being man.

The tough decision… the strong decision… is walking away and not looking back.

It’s useful to think of the James Bond example I wrote on this article: “How to Make Women Respect You“:

Think, What Would James Bond Do?

Can you picture James Bond wasting his time on a girl who treats him like a loser?

Hell no.

Think of the girl you are obsessing over right now, and ask yourself… “why do I like her so much?”

Does she deserve it… or is it possible you are idealizing her too much?

To make women respect you, treat your time and affection like a *GIFT*… don’t just give it away for free.

When you give away your attention to girls who treat you badly, this screams out that you don’t value and respect yourself.

It also suggests there are no other women in your life who treat you better,
otherwise you would spend time with them and not waste time with one who treats you like dirt.

And when you’re saying “my ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with me”… then it’s a clear sign you need to save your time and affection for a woman who actually values and treasures you.