Whenever a student emails me saying “my ex girlfriend won’t talk to me!”…
I immediately give them the strategy I will shortly reveal to you.
When your girlfriend breaks up with you, it hits you like a bag of bricks.
You long for her love… you want to get her back into your life as soon as possible… but she’s ignoring you and wants nothing to do with you.
How do you proceed?
(This video shows you how to get your ex girlfriend back)
In the following Q&A, my student “Richard” is going through this very same situation… and I give him an interesting answer you probably haven’t heard before.
I will also reveal…
- The weird reason a woman goes from MADLY in love with you, to
straight up IGNORING you - Why trying to get the “relationship” back right now puts you at RISK
- The 1 thing that makes her change her mind and get feelings for you again
So pay close attention…
Table of Contents
Question: Ex Girlfriend Won’t Talk to Me
Hello Frankie
I would like to explain my situation.
I dated a girl 7 months, and then we got engaged.
Before we got together, she pursued me for almost a year… she professed her love for me countless of times, and even wrote me several love poems.
She was so into me. She was the one pushing for the engagement… and even chose the ring.
However, after we got engaged, I got into deep debt due to poor financial decisions and bad spending habits.
The money issue caused a strain, as there were days we couldn’t do the usual things we did (like going out).
We were supposed to get married in a few months, but that got cancelled because I honestly didn’t have the money to do it.
I told her that in 9 months I’d be completely debt free, since I am working hard to get out of this rut.
It seemed fine but then we started having fights over the issues I highlighted. Being in debt and my poor financial decsions.
She said she felt like I lied and betrayed her because to her and to many it seems like I have it all together from the outside peeking in, only to be disappointed that I don’t.
I apologized profusely and told her that I should have told her these things at the beginning of the relationship.
So we went for counseling, and she expressed that she doesn’t have desire for the relationship. Neither does she love me anymore.
This had me literally dumbfounded.
How could this woman who pursued me for a year, professed her love for me, wrote me several love poems… change so much in just a few weeks?
Hope that you might be able to help me.
My ex girlfriend won’t talk to me, so it’s hard to fix things.
I love her a lot, and I believe that deep down inside, she still loves me even though she acts like she hates me and doesn’t want anything to do with me at the moment.
– Richard
My Reply: Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Talk to You Now But That Can Change
Hey Richard,
Let’s see… reading about what happened with your ex girlfriend, it’s important to know that women’s feelings for you are “in the now”.
This means that what she felt for you last year only applied to last year.
Therefore, you can’t take her loving behavior and writing love poems from last year and apply it to now, because a woman’s feelings for you aren’t “set in stone”.
A woman’s feelings can change, and the way you act can diminish or increase attraction.
This also means her feelings can change again, but for the better.
Your girlfriend won’t talk to you now but that can change.
It all comes down to what you do, how you carry yourself, and whether you act from a position of strength.
Chasing to Get the Relationship Back
Chasing and pleading to get the relationship to how it was before isn’t a successful strategy to convince a girl to come back to you. (Related: How to Convince a Girl to Like You Using Emotional Persuasion)
See, when a girl leaves us, we get the urge to pursue to get her back right away.
We reason in our minds that since we’ve already been intimate with her and reached a certain level, we should be able to simply get back the relationship label and go back to being a couple.
However, when a woman has lost attraction, this doesn’t work.
Start From the Beginning (Don’t Skip Steps!)
Instead, we need to follow the same process as before to get her feelings back up.
If we skip steps and try to get back the “relationship label” right away, she will lose attraction.
That’s why giving her an ultimatum to get back the relationship wasn’t a good idea.
At this point in time, she wasn’t emotionally ready to commit to the relationship, so trying to lock her down into a relationship only pushed her away. (What to do when your ex girlfriend doesn’t text back)
It’s funny because when you first initially got together, she was the one who pursued you. She wrote you all the love poems, and even professed her love for you.
Basically, she chased you and “won you over” as her boyfriend.
When a “relationship” naturally develops, the woman chases the man and tries to “capture” him as her boyfriend.
But when the tables are turned, and the man chases the woman to win her over as his girlfriend, it is less likely to work.
Of course, “chasing the girl” is something you see in movies all the time, and it screws a lot of guys over when they try to copy what the protagonist does to get the girl.
How many girls have you lost thanks to the crappy advice of Hollywood movies?
Behaviors such as bonding, talking about feelings, bringing up “relationship labels” — those are feminine traits that the female uses to capture the man.
But when the guy acts like the female and he’s the one wanting the relationship while the woman isn’t ready… the chemistry isn’t there and she won’t think it “feels right”.
This is why you shouldn’t aim to get back the relationship label at this point in time.
Your mindset right now should be that you’re dating her from the very beginning.
When a guy starts dating a girl, instead of trying to show her what a good “boyfriend” he’ll be and playing that role… he should play the “lover” role.
Guys who catch feelings fast, and who quickly try to get into a relationship with a girl they like, typically get the “let’s just be friends” speech.
2 Things to Focus on When Interacting With Your Ex Girlfriend
1. Come from a position of strength. Meaning that, when you communicate with her, avoid bringing up “relationship labels”, feelings talk, or getting back together.
Also avoid jealous stuff like asking her about other guys she might hang out with.
2. If you hang out with her, start from the beginning… like you’re dating her for the first time.
In your mind, it’s like you’re re-starting the courtship. Be ok with hanging out and having a good time without having that “official” label of being together again.
Now I know she is very cold right now, so do this only when she opens up communication.
At the moment, don’t contact her anymore until she reaches out.
If she does, assume she misses you and then go for the meetup.
But for now…
- Focus on yourself, get back your strength, and learn to be happy without her.
- Take care of your finances, kick ass in your career, and re-center yourself on your life purpose.
- Create an ecosystem of positive emotions by going out with friends, socializing, and (especially) meeting other women.
Good luck buddy.
Steps to Re-Attract Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Bottom line, if you want to re-attract your ex girlfriend back… there are two steps you must take.
STEP 1: Stop doing the mistakes that made her lose attraction for you.
and…
STEP 2: Learn the behaviors that actually DO trigger attraction in women.
In particular, go through the step-by-step re-attraction process revealed
in this video.
If you want to get your ex girlfriend back (and I’m guessing you do or you wouldn’t be reading this) this video is your ideal first step:
These are a simple series of steps you can take… starting right now, to “re-attract” your ex girlfriend and change the way she feels about you.
All the best.
Your friend,
Frankie
