“To win a woman’s heart, you must do behaviors that break the old ‘friend’ image she has of you”
She is the crush that you have, think about her.
I bet you know the detailed history of your “relationship”.
The day you first met…
The moment you first talked to her…
The first time you felt you were falling for her…
The first hint she gave that she might like you too…
You probably know the details of your story inside and out.
The exact dates, whether it was raining outside… the music that was going through your head.
Now if you really think about it… what is the first sign you know you’re falling in love with a girl? What’s the moment you think “shit I think I really like this girl”.
It’s when you can’t get her out of your head…
When you have “oneitis”… and you can’t stop obsessing over her…
It’s when you’re constantly plotting your next move that will win you “points”.
It’s like you have tunnel vision, and she is all that matters in the world.
Your entire mood depends on her as you become addicted to her validation.
If she sounds eager to text you, laughs at your jokes, and puts effort into her replies…then you’re having a good day.
If she seems distant or only gives short replies… you worry the spark is fading and she is getting bored of you.
You have this “psychic tension” in your mind that exists until you resolve it by seeing her or getting a text her from her.
When she takes hours to reply and you finally get a text from her, you breathe a sigh of *relief*.
She has validated your existence, and your day is saved.
…until your psychic tension starts building up again.
The desire to relieve the psychic tension causes you to text her again the next day… or to accidentally bump into her at the mall… or to somehow reach out at her to get more breadcrumbs of her validation.
It’s a vicious cycle that weakens you… but what if you can use this knowledge to your advantage?
See, by “reverse engineering” what you feel… you can aim to replicate what she feels.
Therefore, the solution to winning a woman’s heart, is to FLIP IT AROUND and…
Table of Contents
Create a “Psychic Tension” in HER Mind
To give her a psychic tension and make her fall in love with you, you must first change her image of you… to something different than it is now.
See, women put guys into two buckets… “lover” or “friend”. If you’re struggling to get this girl attracted, chances are she has put you in the “friend” bucket.
How to win a woman’s heart? By shifting her image of you from friend to lover.
Behaviors that Break Your Old “Friend” Image and Replaces it With a New “Lover” Image
Learning how to win a woman’s heart means learning to do the opposite of what most guys do.
As an attempt to win her over, must guys play the “provider” role…
They do favors for her… fix things for her… buy her gifts… etc.
They are always eager to lend a shoulder after a breakup from her “jerk” boyfriend… becoming her unpaid therapist as she vents about other guys… and available to hang out with her at a moment’s notice.
If you’re playing the provider role, you know you’re a much better choice than the other “jerk” guys she vents about (but still dates), and it’s a matter of time she realizes it… right?
Most guys have this thinking that they’ll do nice things for a girl as an attempt to win her over. The idea is “I’m doing all these things for her, and as a result she’ll slowly open up to me”…”she’ll see what a great boyfriend I can be, and she’ll choose me over the other guys… because I will pass the audition!”
This is an attitude associated with the “Nice Guy”… and there are three problems with it.
3 Problems With Being the Nice Guy
1. The first problem with that is that once you start treating her like a celebrity, she will treat you as a fan.
Think of the hot girl at school with all the guys surrounding her, following her around like her little groupies orbiting her. She is the sun, they are the planets… orbiting the center of attention.
Don’t be a fan, be the man.
2. The second problem with nice guys is that they aren’t “nice” to themselves.
They don’t value and respect themselves, so they sacrifice their power in order to receive validation from a girl… in the form of an “awww thank you!” “you’re the best!” or a nurturing hug. And when he gets that validation he feels relieved that “It’s all going to be OK”.
Don’t trade status for female validation.
3. The third problem with doing favors to win over a girl, is that it doesn’t work.
See, most people think they should do favors for someone to make them like them.
Instead, it’s better to ask them to do something for you.
The explanation for this is cognitive dissonance.
People will reason that if they help you it’s because they like you, even if they didn’t before… because their minds want consistency between their actions and perceptions. This is the principle of commitment and consistency.
With this in mind, this a “pro tip” on how to win a woman’s heart. Find ways to get the girl to do tiny favors for you. At the very least, make sure she reciprocates the things you do for her and does something for you too.
After all, that’s what a relationship is all about.
But watch out because if it gets too one sided, and you become her little pleaser doormat, you sacrifice yourself and your status in exchange for her validation.
Yes, when you do nice things for a her she will probably show appreciation.
Maybe she’ll give you a warm hug, a pat on the back, or even a kiss on the check.
This validation makes you think you’re slowly winning her… and it’s a matter of time she’ll be yours.
But the truth is she NEVER sees you as more than just a buddy.
You have to shift from the pursuing role and reverse it… so that you have the girl jumping through “hoops” and SHE is the one chasing you.
It turns out there’s a sneaky little mind game called “The Scrambler” that puts her through hoops, and slowly wins her over.
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