Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome – The Secrets Jerks Use to Attract Women

You are spending time with a girl you really, really like… and all of a sudden she goes distant.

You confront her about it, and then you hear it…

She gives you the “rejection talk”… and says something like

• “you are too nice, I don’t want to hurt you”
• “I don’t deserve you”
• “It’s not you, it’s me”
• “I’m not ready for a relationship right now

No matter how much she sugarcoats it in an effort to let you down gently, it still makes you feel HORRIBLE.

If you’re tired of hearing these types of rejections, and it’s causing you heartbreak, then watch this video that reveals 5 Romantic Mistakes That Will Almost Always Land You in the Friend Zone

The “Nice Guy Syndrome”

Has a woman ever said you were too much of a nice guy… and she didn’t want to hurt you?

If yes, chances are you are suffering from the “nice guy syndrome”.

Overcoming the nice guy syndrome is the first step to re-attracting a woman you lost because you were too much of a nice guy.

So in this article I’ll go through what “being a nice guy” means… and why women are repulsed by it.

Let’s start by going over a question asked by our good friend “P”.

Question: Can I Attract Her By Just Being a “Nice Guy”?

Dear Frankie,

There’s a girl that used to like me… but not anymore

When we first met, she said I was a “reliable” guy.

Once I asked her about my sex appeal, but she said it is almost null.

However, she said I was cute… and would be good as a husband.

Later when I started talking to another girl.. she scolded me saying I was a jerk and that I was expecting sex from her, not friendship.

I’ve read some of your articles about being the “lover”… don’t you think the sexual lover image can be risky?

Can’t I attract her by just being a nice guy?

I can’t act like a fuckboy. My real character is a nice guy. She also knows that. I want to be intimate with her and also want to have friendship.

There was a guy in our company who was a nice guy, and he got girls to like him.

How was my office mate able to attract females while being a nice guy?

He never acted like a jerk, and yet he got a girlfriend.

But there was playfulness, cunningness in his talk sometimes… he seemed to understand girls psychology.

What should I do?

– P

My Reply: The Problem With “Nice Guys” is They Aren’t Nice to Themselves and They Lack Boundaries

Hey P,

The girl scolded you because she had you pegged as the typical “nice guy” who didn’t show his sexual side.

Scolding you was her reaction to it.

Instead, if your behavior from the start indicated your intent of sex, the result and the image of you would have been a lot different.

When a woman scolds and says you want sex, the move there is to say “DUH, of course I like sex.”

But don’t lie and backpedal saying you’re not.

(Related: How to Make a Girl Want You Sexually)

The Difference Between Being a Good Guy and Having “Nice Guy Syndrome”

See, I used to be a “nice guy” back in college. I would do all these favors for women in order to gain their approval and hopefully get them to like me.

I was always eager to help.

I would get them Jack in the Box, did errands for them… once even did the entire chemistry homework for one girl! …it’s so pathetic now that I think about it.

One night as we were eating at Jack in the Box, a girl said, “Look Frankie, you shouldn’t be too nice”.

I remembered those words, and actually thought about them for a few years… dissecting in my mind exactly what they meant.

And now I know exactly what being “too nice” means.

Being a nice guy means:

You don’t have personal boundaries… you go above and beyond to please women… while not giving yourself what you need as a MAN

And the very last part is the KEY to overcoming the nice guy syndrome.

The “nice guy” sacrifices his power as a man, in order to get the validation of the girl he likes.

Validation: A girl gives you validation when she treats you nicely and makes you feel good about yourself.

But then when she acts distant towards you, you worry and don’t feel good about yourself anymore… because you’ve lost her validation.

The thing that drives you the most when you’re a nice guy is that you fear losing the girl’s validation.

Meaning… You Become Dependent On the Woman’s Validation!

And to keep it, you fail to stand up to your desires as a man. 

However, being honest with your intentions gains respect from women… and for a woman to fall in love with you she needs to first respect you.

Now… her “socially conditioned” response might be to say “oh what a jerk he wants sex” — because she has been taught that if people know you like sex, then it’s “bad” and you’re a pervert, but deep inside she will respect you.

You just have to stand your ground with what you want and believe in. Don’t ever hide your sexuality from a woman.

When you compromise what you want, the girl will sense it… and if you later try to show that you like sex… that triggers her response of scolding you and acting like a nagging mommy.

Why Jerks Attract Women, and How to Use Their Secrets Without Actually Being a Jerk

Being an overall good guy is great, but it isn’t what creates attraction.

When you go about overcoming the nice guy syndrome, you need to “get” how attraction “works”.

And the first rule is this:

Attraction is emotional, not logical.

A woman isn’t analyzing how good you are as a person by writing your good qualities on an Excel spreadsheet and then deciding whether or not she feels attraction for you.

No, attraction is a gut-level instinct reaction to your character and how you behave. It has to do with the VALUE she feels you have.

If you behave anxiously because you feel you need her validation in order to feel better about yourself, this will come across like you don’t value yourself.

You sacrifice your value because you become desperate.

And if you don’t value yourself, then the woman won’t either. 

See, the reason “bad boy players” create attraction with women isn’t because they act like “jerks” …but because they value themselves immensely and they have that “don’t give a shit” attitude if a woman takes away their validation.

In other words…

They don’t suffer from validation dependence!

They don’t waste too much energy on ONE woman who isn’t interested in them. They move on to other women who actually value them sexually.

In addition, the player knows how to attract a woman so much that she starts chasing him.

The thing is, you can *STEAL* the players’ skill of making a woman chase you… without actually acting like a jerk.

This video talks about how you can use a technique called “The Scrambler” to do it.

Once you learn the “The Scrambler”…then you’ll know how to use it to sleep with a “hard to get” female friend.

==> Learn the Scrambler here